Ministry Matters: Jessica Miller Kelley

ARTICLE: Mother's Day Worship: Plan with Sensitivity

Mon, 06 May 2013 20:19:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Mother’s Day is one of the unofficial “high holy days” of the church calendar. Like Christmas and Easter, the second Sunday in May often brings in visitors the church rarely sees, if only because Mom has requested that the family go to church together before their celebratory lunch.

Pastors know it will be a high-attendance Sunday and don’t want to let the mothers down, so churches brainstorm ways to honor the mothers in their midst on that special day. Common practices include having all the mothers stand, or passing out roses to all the moms.

Such practices, however—and the very celebration of Mother’s Day at all—are salt in the wounds of women who long to have children but instead struggle with infertility, miscarriage, or infant loss.

A Difficult Day

Jessica LaGrone, Pastor of Worship at The Woodlands United Methodist Church outside Houston, has seen Mother’s Day worship from a variety of perspectives. As a pastor, she wants to help families honor and give thanks for Mom in worship, and now as a mother of two, she is one of those women being honored. But for several years, Rev. LaGrone knew firsthand the pain of those women longing to be mothers, whose lack of living children made Mother’s Day a dreaded and hurtful observance.

“Mother’s Day was a really difficult day for me,” LaGrone said. “It called attention to the fact that I was different.”

After marrying at age 30, LaGrone and her husband, Jim, tried to conceive right away, but had difficulty and experienced multiple miscarriages. She chose to keep her fertility struggle private in church, to keep parishioners from feeling they would need to minister to her. That privacy kept LaGrone from having her grief “multiplied by 10,000” with each member of the church expressing sympathy, but also left her very lonely in her struggle, and left her exposed to stinging comments and questions about when we would she and Jim would have children.

Mother’s Day, during those years of infertility, especially brought to mind babies LaGrone had lost through miscarriage.

“‘Happy Mother’s Day’ gets used as a greeting just like ‘Merry Christmas,’” she said. “Just that phrase, if someone said it to me, felt like a blow rather than a greeting.”

Planning Worship with Sensitivity

Church leaders need to be cautious in planning Mother’s Day worship, recognizing the fact that, for many women in the congregation, the holiday raises painful or complex emotions.

With worship planning her main responsibility, LaGrone scheduled herself to give the prayer on Mother’s Day during those years, avoiding the difficulty of preaching or having to give a cheerful welcome to the service. Giving the pastoral prayer was healing for her, LaGrone said, and also an opportunity to pray “for all those women I knew of for whom Mother’s Day was more struggle than celebration.

“Sometimes I would list out possible reasons for the struggle, sometimes not.”

In her “Open Letter to Pastors,” written around Mother’s Day in 2012, blogger Amy Young lists out many reasons for the struggles women may feel on Mother’s Day in a prayer-like reflection she calls “The Wide Spectrum of Mothering.” The reflection, which would be ideal for use in worship, includes blessings for women of all stages and situations, with lines like:

“To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you.

To those who walk the hard path of infertility . . . we walk with you.

. . . To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms—we need you.”

LaGrone advises that churches focus less on recognizing mothers and more on the fact that we all have had a mother, acknowledging all those people who have nurtured us. Rather than preaching an entire sermon on “the gift of motherhood,” for example, pastors should preach on a broader theme and weave in the observance of Mother’s Day more subtly.

The Woodlands has used “man on the street”-style videos of staff members and congregants sharing memories of their own mothers to enhance worship and keep the focus away from practices that differentiate women with living children from those without.

Young recalls how alienated she felt as an unmarried, childless woman in her late 30s when a pastor asked all the mothers to stand. “I don’t know how others saw me, but I felt dehumanized, gutted as a woman,” she writes on her blog, Messy Middle. “Real women stood, empty shells sat.”

Hope and Comfort from Scripture

The barrenness that Young suggests with the words “empty shell” is an image with a long history and many recurrences in Scripture. The Woodlands’ support group for women struggling with infertility is called Sisters of Hannah, taking its name from Old Testament prophet Samuel’s mother, who “turned her sorrow into prayer,” as LaGrone describes it.

Israel’s story even begins with infertility, with Sarah’s barrenness as an obvious obstacle to the promise God gave to Abraham. LaGrone tells Abraham and Sarah’s story in the first session her Bible study, Namesake: When God Rewrites Your Story. “We read more about what Sarah thinks and feels than almost any woman in scripture,” LaGrone said. “Hope, failure, worry, jealousy, disbelief. Sarah is so well-described as a woman dealing with infertility.” Following Sarah, there are several more generations of infertility in the Genesis stories LaGrone will explore in her next study, Broken and Blessed.

Biblical women like Hannah, Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Elizabeth are wonderful role models for women who long for children, though LaGrone cautions pastors to be careful when preaching their stories, which have happy endings.

“There is no promise that it will all work out,” LaGrone said. “‘Just pray and you’ll get pregnant’ can be a very damaging message.” The spiritual stigma of barrenness in biblical times lingers even today, with the erroneous idea that an unanswered prayer is a sign of weak faith.

The real message of the Bible’s infertility stories is not our faithfulness but God’s. Said LaGrone, “God loves to tackle stories where the odds are stacked against us.”

And that’s a message that gives hope to women and men facing any kind of struggle, on Mother’s Day and any other day of the year.

ARTICLE: Family Concerns: When to Refer

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 08:23:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Many seminarians in their introductory Pastoral Care class hear this cardinal rule for any counseling work they will do in their capacity as a congregational leader: Know when to refer.

This mantra is both for the benefit of the clergy themselves and the people seeking help. Without it, pastors may find themselves in over their heads, unable to handle the complexity or seriousness of a psychological condition, or drained of their time and energy by perpetual appointments with congregants who would find more appropriate help elsewhere.

Sometimes, it is clear when a parishioner’s problem is beyond the pastor’s pay grade, so to speak. A few premarital counseling sessions are one thing, but ongoing therapy to repair a marriage on the brink is quite another. It is fairly obvious that a college student who has attempted suicide, or a mom addicted to her child’s Ritalin need not just professional therapy but probably some inpatient treatment as well. Pastors should have a list of appropriate therapists or pastoral counselors to whom they can direct people in need.

But what about when it isn’t clear whether professional help is needed? This question can be especially fuzzy for families struggling to get along or parents frustrated by a child’s bad behavior. A chat with the pastor might offer some encouragement and a sounding board for the family’s concerns, but is the situation so dire that you need to refer them for professional counseling? The family may not be sure either, and look to their pastor for guidance.

Family therapists David Thomas and Sissy Goff see a lot of uncertainty in this area.

“Parents are quick to jump to thinking something is really wrong,” Goff says. Parents wonder what is normal and whether their child’s behavior is cause for concern.

At Daystar Counseling in Nashville, where Thomas and Goff are Directors, counselors offer “parent consults” without children present, to help determine whether the child (or whole family) needs to begin counseling. Around 30 percent of parent consults result in a child starting therapy, Thomas estimates.

For most families, however, professional help is not needed—not right away, at least.

Start at Home

Thomas and Goff recommend that parents try to address issues at home before calling in the professionals. Even for major problem behaviors, parents have the power to effect change, they say. But consistency is key.

In their recent book, Intentional Parenting, Thomas and Goff devote an entire chapter to the principle of consistency—right up there with being spiritual and patient. Many parents try a new disciplinary technique for a week or less, conclude that it didn’t work, and move on to the next thing.

“If you are consistent over a matter of months and there is still no change,” Thomas says, “then consider getting professional help. The problem is parents aren’t patient enough.”

Parents also seem to lack trust in themselves and their ability to effect change. Parents think there are “secrets” out there that will miraculously make their children turn out right, writes Melissa Trevathan, founder of Daystar and co-author of Intentional Parenting. Many parents seem to parent reactively, out of fear and anxiety, which actually hinders good parenting, says the authors.

The rise in awareness of mental health issues can make parents even more anxious, with news stories about bullying, depression, violent children, and teen suicide. If a child is expressing thoughts of suicide or is at risk of immediate harm to himself or others, parents should contact a mental health professional immediately. In most cases, however, parents can take a slower approach in which they become intentional about their interactions with and discipline of the children, improving the child’s behavior and emotional well-being through a closer relationship and consistent instilling of the family’s values and expectations.

Third Party Input

Parents likely approach you as pastor when they simply want an objective, third-party perspective on the issues they are facing. If parents are disagreeing about the severity of the problem, it is important for them to get on the same page and present a unified front, whether in terms of discipline at home or the decision to go to therapy. Good cop/bad cop situations are not helpful. Such disagreement causes insecurity in kids and hurts the relationship with the “bad cop,” which is usually the mom, Goff concedes, if only because Mom is with the kids more.

Adolescents may resist the idea of going to therapy, thinking it means something is wrong with them. But adolescents may benefit from seeing a counselor even in less severe situations (than younger children), Thomas says, because they may get to the point they shut down and won’t even talk to their parents. An outside party can help them open up.

Adolescents are especially tricky when it comes to assessing their need for help, because their normal emotional development can mimic depression, Goff says. (Picture the stereotypical sullen teenager, isolating herself in the bedroom.) A good test, however, is to watch how the teen acts in various contexts; a normal adolescent may be antisocial with family but perk up immediately when around friends. Consistent sullenness may indicate depression and a need for professional intervention.

Anxiety as well is on the rise with children and youth, Goff says, and is being identified in younger kids than ever before—ages 4, 5, and 6. Some are calling it a new childhood epidemic. Some anxieties are school-related; others fixate on what the child perceives as the worst possible thing that he could experience—something happening to a parent, for example. Overarching, irrational fear and anxiety that impairs the child’s functioning, that he or she can’t be logically talked out of, definitely merits professional assessment and counseling.

What Churches Can Do

There is a lot church leaders can do to confront this epidemic of anxiety in children and the general anxiety among parents about their children’s behavior and development. Equip and support parents with resources from books to Bible studies to video-based programs. Bring in speakers on parenting and child development.

Helping parents to recognize and address their own issues can also go a long way to improve family relationships as well. Traumas from one’s own childhood can cause a parent to be “stuck” at a certain age or on a certain issue. “Behaviors, beliefs, and emotions connected to unresolved childhood experiences can still be triggered today,” says Trevathan. “For an adult who is stuck, parenting can be one of the most profoundly triggering experiences of your life.”

Seminars or sermons on forgiveness, reconciliation, or closure could help “stuck” individuals to grow up in the ways they still need to. Children feel safest when the parent is in charge, says Thomas, and need parents to be the grownups of the house. Fortunately, adults today are more willing to examine themselves and their difficult memories than in times past.

“We’re seeing evidence of parents wanting to be more present and self-aware than ever before,” Thomas says. “That’s really exciting.”

And that is a wide-open door for churches to do their part to nurture healthy families, before the household dynamics get so broken that outside intervention is necessary. If and when some families do find themselves in need of deeper help, you’ll know who to call.

BLOG: Butler's Winning Values

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 18:10:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

If you follow college basketball, you know that tonight is the final game of the NCAA tournament. Louisville v. Michigan for the whole enchilada. Usually, I am following the games with much excitement. My husband and I have a great time filling out our brackets and cheering both for the teams we love and whatever team whose win would put us ahead of the other in our family pool.

Three weeks or so ago, we were all geared up. Our fridge was stocked with pizza and beer. Our pantry had plenty of chips on the shelf and three tournament brackets taped to the door. My husband Matt's was filled out with the help of insight from Sports Center, regular season stats, and a dash of team loyalty. I use my gut and a little more loyalty (which often beats Matt's carefully-researched picks, nonetheless). Our four-year-old uses an even gutsier gut, which frequently chooses 16-seed teams to beat number ones, and a number of 15-2 upsets. She's among the few Americans to have correctly picked #14 Harvard's win over #3 New Mexico, as well as Florida Gulf Coast's Cinderella run.

But there's one thing all three of our brackets had in common: that coveted center spot, the tournament champion, said Butler. Our hopes were dashed in just the second round this year, but we're not just fair-weather fans.

Long before the Butler Bulldogs made history by being the first team to make it to two consecutive finals of the NCAA basketball tournament without being seeded #1 or #2, our family has bled blue for Butler (and Kentucky and Memphis and anyone playing against Louisville, but that's another story). Matt graduated Indianapolis' Butler University in 2003 and has great memories of cheering with his fraternity brothers in the student section, AKA the Dawg Pound. The Final Four began on Holy Saturday in 2010, so as a pastor, he really couldn't leave town at that point, but gladly drove five hours the morning after Easter to be in Indianapolis for the final game that Monday.

Butler lost 61-59 to Duke that night, but a cartoon that appeared soonafter showed the impact Butler had made. It showed a Duke Blue Devil holding the championship trophy, and the Butler Bulldog (Blue II) holding a much bigger trophy symbolizing "the hearts of America." Everyone loves an underdog, or as they tend to call underdogs who exceed expectations in March Madness, Cinderella teams. And there's something even more loveable about a Cinderella team with the highest graduation rate in the NCAA and a coach so young and cute (in my opinion) that he is sometimes mistaken for a student.

We long-time fans have always known there's something special about Butler, but its last few years on a national stage—and now, a leadership book by Indianapolis pastor Kent Millard and the director of Butler's Center for Faith and Vocation, Judith Cebula—have made the school's winning principles more widely known.

Lead Like Butler: Six Principles for Values-Based Leaders, explores what is known on campus as The Butler Way, a set of values for athletes across Butler's programs emphasizing character above all else.

Millard and Cebula's six chapters explore each of those values: Humility, Passion, Unity, Servanthood, Thankfulness, and Accountability. Together, they form a recipe for a team culture that excels together because each member puts his teammates and the team as a whole above himself. It's a Christlike model that draws out the best in each player as they serve one another.

Stories from Butler basketball, including Coach Stevens and women's basketball coach Beth Couture, as well as mentors Bryan Collier, Tony Hinkle, Tony Dungy, and John Wooden will warm the hearts of Butler fans but also inspire leaders of all kinds to cultivate such a remarkable culture among the athletes, employees, or volunteers they lead. Examples from scripture and business make up half of each chapter, making an even broader case for the values emphasized in the Butler program.

The authors cite well-known sports writer Dick Vitale in saying "If you want to learn how basketball is played in its purest form—the team game—learn all you can about Butler hoops."

Lead Like Butler will certainly contribute to that body of knowledge for basketball coaches and players, but every bit as much so for leaders in any field wanting to improve one's own leadership and intentionally cultivate a winning team.

BLOG: What Are We Doing?

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 06:42:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Palm Sunday morning, I led my two daughters to the back of the sanctuary so they could be part of the palm-waving processional to kick off Holy Week. On the way, I spotted a visiting family with children and asked if they wanted to join the other kids in the processional. The boy was feeling shy, but the girl, about eight years old, came on back and waited with us for the service to begin.

As the announcements finally got started, the preschoolers used their palms like swords and my toddler's initial enthusiasm waned, this bespectacled third grader looked up at me and asked, "What are we doing?"

"Well, it's Palm Sunday," I told her, "so we're remembering when Jesus arrived in Jerusalem. People got excited and waved palm branches along his path, so we're pretending to be those people, welcoming Jesus in."

She listened respectfully, and then said, "But what do we do when we get up there?" gesturing to the front of the sanctuary.

"Oh. Well, we'll put the palms in those white vases there, and then you can go back to your seat."

The Why and the How

This little girl's question (and my possible misinterpretation of it) reminded me that the confusion visitors (and regulars, for that matter) can feel during worship has two dimensions, which might be verbalized in two questions: Why are we doing this? and How do we do it?

There is the philosophical desire to understand the significance of strange actions and the practical concern for what to do to avoid looking foolish.

Communion is an easy example. Why are we eating a little piece of bread with not enough grape juice to wash it down? Why does this help us remember Jesus? And how are we supposed to walk/kneel/pass to get it? (There's nothing like the face of a newcomer who has just eaten the bread they were supposed to dip in a common cup.)

What are we doing? Why? How?

What are we doing when we stand for some scripture readings and not for others?

What are we doing when everybody says certain words that don't seem to be in a book, bulletin, or on a screen?

Some things—particularly the hows—can be a bigger concern for visitors, but even lifelong Christians and long-time church members can forget things or let once-meaningful things become rote and meaningless.

Remind people of the whys and the hows. Be aware of practices or words that are so familiar to long-time members of your church that you may take explanation for granted. Try to view your church with fresh eyes—or better yet, ask someone to visit an point out to you confusing things you might not even notice. Tell people why you're taking up an offering, how you line up for communion, where to find the words to that song or response some people have memorized.

It shouldn't take more than a sentence or two to explain how to participate in an element of worship. ("Read the words in bold." "Take the bread and dip it into the cup." "Approach by the center aisle and return to your seats by the side aisles.") If it does, you might be making it too complicated.

The whys shouldn't require too many extra words either. Obviously, some of the deeper theological "whys" will require a separate conversation, Bible study, or some book/website recommendations for people who really want to know more. But if the spiritual significance of a certain worship element can't be made clear on at least a basic level without interrupting the flow of worship, you may need to rethink its place in your worship experience.

ARTICLE: Stations of the Cross: Projectable Art

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 15:09:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Enhance your Holy Week observances with this free Stations of the Cross artwork and devotional experience.

The Stations of the Cross, also called The Way of the Cross, is a historic practice of Christians around the world, observed especially during Lent and on Good Friday in particular. The concept was originated in medieval times, to bring a taste of Holy Land pilgrimage to people in their own churches. Rather than walking the Via Dolorosa (Way of Sorrows) around Jerusalem to remember Jesus' humiliation and sacrifice, devotees could process from station to station within the church or an outdoor space, meditating on visual representations of Jesus' journey—often sculptures, paintings, or reliefs.

There are traditionally fourteen stations, marking Jesus' experience from condemnation to burial, though adaptations exist, including the addition of a resurrection station (which some would say defeats the purpose of meditating on Christ's suffering before jumping to Easter) or a version that only depicts scenes explicitly recorded in Scripture. (Jesus stumbling and falling under the weight of the cross might be logically assumed, though not stated in Scripture, and one station—Veronica wiping Jesus' face with a towel—introduces a completely extrabiblical character and incident.)

The Stations of the Cross experience offered below follow the traditional fourteen stations, with the substitution of resurrection (as Station 14) for the traditional station 13, Jesus is taken down from the cross. These worship elements may be projected or printed free of charge for use in congregational settings.

ARTICLE: 7 Deadly Sins (Sermon Series and Study)

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 13:32:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

People may say that Christians are too judgmental, that we talk too much about sin, but it seems that the problem really is that we talk too much about other people's sins—pointing out the proverbial speck in others' eyes while ignoring the logs in our own. We all know that we fall short of God's ideals for us, but too often prefer not to dwell on the specifics of our own sinfulness, especially not in any group context.

Reading the new edition of Will Willimon's Sinning Like a Christian: A New Look at the Seven Deadly Sins, however, made me itch to discuss these age-old pecadillos with my Sunday school class or small group. Willimon tells the story of a man who had found redemption from his most serious vices through Alcoholics Anonymous. After such a transformative experience, however, the man found church empty and superficial, lacking the honesty and soul-baring that should be central to any gathering of fallen people. It doesn't have to be that way.

With Sinning Like a Christian as a framework, dare to spark the honest self-examination we all need with an eight-week experience in both worship and classes/small groups. This series would be ideal for the eight weeks following Easter Sunday, since the triumphant story of Easter preceding the series sets a tone of redemption, rather than condemnation, for this focus on sin. In addition, the weeks following Christmas and Easter are ideal for a provocative and intriguing series to keep the occasional churchgoers coming back.

Consider the following sermon series outline as a starting point for your preaching. Consult the book for more theological background and feel free to select different scriptures as your starting point for each week.

Week 1: Thinking About Sin (Introduction and Chapter 1)

Leviticus 18:26-19:2 and Romans 3:19-24

Christians have long focused too much on other people's sins, especially non-Christians. Turning the microscope on ourselves, it becomes all too clear in light of Jesus' perfect example of righteousness and the sheer holiness of God how unrighteous we are by comparison. We like to comfort ourselves with the fact we haven't committed certain "big" sins, like murder, adultery, theft, etc., but what makes the Seven Deadly Sins (which are not directly biblical) perhaps more incisive than the Ten Commandments is their smallness, their personalness. The seven are the quiet, internal roots of so many other sins, and that is why we must explore them—and examine ourselves—so closely.

Week 2: Pride (Chapter 2)

Genesis 3:1-7 and Philippians 2:3-11

Pride—assuming it does not go so far as arrogance—is often considered a positive trait these days. We want our children to feel pride in their accomplishments, we feel a sense of pride in a job well done or in a group that we positively identify with. But more than just a positive association or an error in judgement (thinking more highly of oneself than is justified), Pride is the root of so much other evil. It is pride that makes some of us think we are above the law, that rules do not apply to us, or that we simply cannot fail, whatever we attempt. But if even Jesus, who was in the very form of God, did not consider himself equal to God, we have no place being any less humble than Jesus, who came to serve the lowest of the low.

Week 3: Envy (Chapter 3)

Genesis 4:1-8 and Matthew 20:1-16

Envy is the emotional root and a subtle form of hate—resenting the good and rejoicing in the bad that occurs to one's neighbor. It is a social sin, hurting our relationships (even to the point of murder, as in the case of Cain and Abel), and squelches joy in its tracks, as it maximizes others' good fortune and minimizes the blessings we ourselves enjoy. Envy leads us to criticize others and to attribute others' success to sheer luck, which makes us passive and (contrary to popular belief) unmotivated to work harder ourselves. A close cousin of Pride, Envy weighs and ranks and compares, making our neighbors into competitors, and our own blessings a prize to be boasted, rather than a gift to be shared.

Week 4: Anger (Chapter 4)

Psalm 137:7-9 and John 2:13-17

Anger has many redemptive qualities. We speak of "righteous anger," that drives people to correct many wrongs in the world. Even Jesus displayed anger when confronted with unrighteousness. Anger is a natural response to knowing the world is not as it ought to be. The infamous Psalm 137 is a sincere cry from people in pain, asking God for justice as they would define it. But misdirected, anger can lead us to resentment, depression, and violence. It ferments into bitterness and unwillingness to take any responsibility to change things. Forgiveness enables us to move beyond the immediate wrong to proactively work for justice and rightness in the world.

Week 5: Sloth (Chapter 5)

Ecclesiastes 1:1-9 and John 5:1-9a

Sloth is an interesting challenge for us to address, given our "Protestant work ethic" that condemns laziness, and our need for Sabbath rest, which too often we refuse to take. But in keeping with the nature of the Seven Deadly Sins being more about our heart than our actions, we should define Sloth here not as laziness or the lack of productive work, but rather as apathy toward spiritual matters to which we should devote ourselves. Sloth is not caring enough about God to wrestle mightily with Scripture and spiritual disciplines that would challenge us.

Week 6: Greed (Chapter 6)

1 Chronicles 4:9-10 and Matthew 6: 16:19-24

In our Western culture of relative luxury, it can be hard to tell the difference between needs and wants. Is a functional computer a need or a want? What about shoes for different types of occasions? We are driven to succeed and hope that, when we do, we will use our status and wealth to advance the kingdom. But are our motives really so pure? Rather than wishing and working for more, we should strive to cultivate gratitude for what we already have.

Week 7: Gluttony (Chapter 7)

Philippians 3:17-21 and Matthew 6:25-33

Jesus himself was accused of this sin, called a glutton and drunkard by his critics, and whether or not he took pleasures of eating and drinking to excess, he generally did not embody the aceticism many other holy men and philosophers have embraced throughout history. Gluttony is an odd sin to number among the Seven, seeming to harm only the glutton himself and hardly so damaging as anger and greed, but for the early monastics among whom the list of Seven originated, Gluttony signified overall preoccupation with matters of the flesh. It is as much a sin to obsess over the minutiae of what one eats as it is to lustfully consume an entire feast.

Week 8: Lust (Chapter 8)

2 Samuel 11:1-17 and Matthew 5:27-30

We humans are obsessed with sex. And if not obsessed with the having of it ourselves, we are obsessed with analyzing and critiquing others' bedroom activities. The inclusion of Lust among the Seven reminds us of the relational impact of sin. Sex as an act of consumption, of personal gratification, rather than for the benefit of the relationship and society as a whole is a matter of Pride, Greed, and perhaps Envy, pouring fuel on the fire of our most selfish tendencies. We think of Lust as a private sin, but it is in pursuit of virtue in this most intimate area of our lives that we honor and seek the holiness of a God who wants every part of us, who is concerned not only for the actions of people and affairs of this world, but also for our thoughts and feelings, these sins of the heart and mind that bear fruit in our actions.

Read Sinning Like a Christian for more detail and for quotes and illustrations that will be useful in your preaching. The book also includes study questions to facilitate discussion in small groups and classes.

BLOG: What 60 Minutes, Sleeping Beauty, and You Have in Common

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 07:30:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

A few weeks ago, President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton sat down with Steve Kroft of 60 Minutes to do a joint interview on the occasion of Clinton's departure from the president's cabinet. The two leaders shared how close they'd become and what a great working relationship they'd had over the last four years, and Steve Kroft asked the inevitable question about whether Clinton would run for president in 2016.

"Steve, I gotta tell you," the President said. "You guys in the press are incorrigible. I was literally inaugurated four days ago. And you're talking about elections four years from now."

Kroft isn't alone, of course. People in both parties have been speculating since before this election about who the candidates will be in 2016, hoping "their guy" has a chance but knowing many primary candidates will come and go before it's all settled. It's four years away, and the excitement of the 2012 race is only recently behind us, but some people have already turned their focus to the next election. For some, it's because they dislike the current administration and are eager for a change, but for many, it's just the fun of speculation, the eagerness of political junkies to get a fix of campaign fervor.

Why is this?

I say it's the same reason we call the wedding at the end of a fairy tale a "happy ending." I think of the little fairy at the end of Sleeping Beauty, sobbing over the dancing prince and princess because she "just loves a happy ending." In that case, they're not even married yet, and have only known each other a few (waking) minutes! But we are nonetheless obsessed with the chase, the adventure, the romance, and are ready to pop in the next DVD without giving any thought to what happens after the royal couple dances off into the clouds.

In short, we are all drama queens and kings. We feed on the conflict and thrill and are bored by what follows. The presidential race is more fun to observe than the actual term in office. The romantic pursuit and engagement are more exciting than Mr. and Mrs. Charming picking out curtains for the castle windows.

But this love of drama and action doesn't stop with our politics and entertainment. We do it in our personal lives as well, and in our faith.

The romance of dating and the thrill of starting out a new life together set a false standard that day-to-day married life doesn't match. Nailing an interview and getting the job offer is a lot more energizing than the daily grind of meetings and reports. And the awe-inspiring joy of experiencing God for the first time or taking a bold step of committing one's life to Christ can fuel a spiritual high that leads to a frustrating low.

Reality is full of hard work, without a lot of star-spangled confetti, signing bonuses, or dancing on clouds. Marriage and family life is less rice on your tuxedo and more legos in your shoes. Talking through a conflict over family finances, staying late to finish a big presentation, and practicing spiritual disciplines even when you don't feel the warm glow of God's presence—that's life, and there is value and joy to be found even in the seemingly-humdrum day-to-day.

We live in a noisy culture in which only the extreme rises above the din. Someone said recently that we've lost the ability to simply disagree—we have to be outraged. We can't enjoy the merely good, we have to make it bigger, better, louder, faster. No wonder we measure life by the highs and the lows of celebration and conflict. But most of life isn't high or low, and it is damaging to our souls to chase after and focus on those extremes.

We need to step back, see the big picture, and cherish the role the "ordinary" times play in the great story of our lives.

BLOG: When Ash Wednesday Falls Before Valentine's

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 14:07:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Have you discussed your Valentine's plans with your sweetheart yet? You might want to be doing that soon, since that either-loved-or-reviled commericalized day of hearts and flowers and candy is coming up next week. For you liturgical nerds who are more likely to know the moveable date of Ash Wednesday than the fixed one of St. Valentine's Day, let me clue you in: it's February 14. As in, the day AFTER Ash Wednesday this year.

"Great! So we swear off chocolate and then the next day someone gives us a big box of Godivas!" I heard one person exclaim.

Indeed, the austerity of Lenten observances, which for many people include abstinence from indulgences like sweets, alcohol, or meat, seems to clash with the way we typically envision celebrating Valentine's Day, with romantic dinners of rich foods and wine, and heart-shaped gift boxes full of chocolates. What do we do when these observances coincide?

Easter is fairly early this year—March 31—so the ashen kickoff to Lent is, correspondingly, fairly early. The earliest Ash Wednesday can be is Feb. 4, which it was in 1573, 1668, 1761 and 1818 and will next be in 2285 (thank you, Wikipedia). It's not terribly uncommon for Ash Wednesday to fall in its earliest possible ten days. It has fallen somewhere between the 6th and the 13th recently in 2002, 2005, and 2008. It will again in 2016, and in 2018, it will fall precisely on the big V-Day.

I'm not meaning to imply that a secular holiday (based on a Catholic saint's day as it may be) is more important than the solemn observance of Ash Wednesday. (I've written numerous times about how it is, in fact, my favorite liturgical holiday.) But given that many couples—or at least one partner in that couple!—do like to celebrate Valentine's Day, here are a few options to consider when celebrating this year:

1. Celebrate Early

If you are a traditionalist, for whom the overlapping of these holidays is most likely to cause a problem, you may want to celebrate Valentine's early this year, going out this coming weekend, or on the day before Ash Wednesday, since that day—Fat Tuesday, AKA Mardi Gras—is tailor-made for pre-Lenten indulgence. Christian cultures all over the world have various traditions for going all out before Lent, from the wild parties in New Orleans and Rio to the more reserved Protestant celebration of "Pancake Day." (If you don't booze it up under ordinary circumstances, syrupy-sweet breakfast foods are pretty indulgent in comparison :)

So go all out some night between now and next Wednesday. Enjoy the chocolates, order the bottle of wine and the prime rib—or take advantage of IHOP's annual National Pancake Day (Feb. 5 this year) to enjoy a free short stack and raise money for charity. The contrast will make the solemnity of Lent even more meaningful.

2. Keep It Simple

Valentine's doesn't have to be an elaborate affair. Celebrate your relationship with a sincere note of affection and appreciation. Begin a daily Lenten devotion as a couple, and give thanks for human love as you reflect together on the way of Christ. Far more than the superficial romatic sentiments usually associated with Valentine's Day, the self-giving life we are all called to live as Christians is truly indicative of the committed love we enjoy and celebrate. What a great way to begin Lent, by focusing first on our service to those closest to us, so that we can expand the circle over 40 days (and beyond) to more fully commit ourselves to service out in the world.

See some of the Lenten devotions in Ministry Matters' Lent studies bin.

3. Do For Others

If the purpose of a Valentine's date is to spend time together, why not go together to show love for others by serving dinner in a homeless shelter, or spend what you would have on a fancy dinner on groceries for a local food pantry. Take flowers to your doctor's office, kids' teachers, school secretary, nursing home residents, and other people who might go unappreciated. Buy flowers at a grocery store and give them to the clerk.

Especially for people who tend to "hate" Valentine's Day because it reminds them of a relationship they don't have, remind them they are special and loved nonetheless. Think of single people in your congregation (especially young women and teen girls), recently divorced or widowed persons, and others who might need cheering up. Send them a simple valentine to say "you're special, beautiful, and loved."

4. Embrace the Temptation

If you take Lenten fasting and abstinence seriously (i.e. not giving up chocolate for the sake of your waistline rather than your faith), consider a Valentine's Day that falls during Lent a sacrifice to be embraced. Decline the date to a fancy restaurant (or choose the vegetable plate and water over the Italian feast), and save the candy you receive to eat with your Cadbury eggs on Easter. (If you're really hard core, leave the box of chocolates on the counter as a reminder to pray.) Read about Jesus' time in the wilderness, and reflect on his sacrifices for us in life and death.

Here are a few articles about the meaning of Lenten fasting, to help you prepare.

Coincidences of the calendar are no cause for despair. Love is a blessing year-round, both the human love we enjoy and the divine love we receive and share with the world.

ARTICLE: 5 Easy Ways to Improve Your Bulletins and Newsletters

Thu, 31 Jan 2013 10:00:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

It's a rare church that has a graphic designer on staff, or even an experienced professional willing to volunteer for the sometimes-tedious task of compiling the information for and laying out the printed pieces the church distributes on a regular basis. But even when the worship leader, church secretary, or even senior pastor has to squeeze that bulletin or newsletter into his or her already full to-do list, there are a few simple things you can do to help those pamphlets have maximum impact on your members and guests.

1. Be Consistent

Your bulletins and newsletters should not resemble the community memo board at Panera, with every announcement in a different font on a different color background. Develop a template with a limited color scheme, simple layout, and a chosen font (and maybe one other font for headings), and stick to it. Even better, let this consistent styling run across not just the bulletin and newsletter, but the website, interior and exterior signage, etc., for a clear and unified aesthetic for all the visuals related to your church.

2. Think of the Visitor

As with most everything in your church, try to see your bulletin and newsletter through the eyes of a visitor. When you live and breathe church matters, it can be easy to take your understanding for granted and forget that visitors (and even many long-time attendees) need a bit more information. Do the announcements read like a family Christmas letter, with the assumption that the reader already knows names and back stories? Do they use acronyms that new people won't be familiar with? (Worst case scenario: "Come to ASF on Thursday at 10. Call Ann for details.") What impression of your church and its priorities would a complete stranger form if all they had to look at was your bulletin?

3. Speak with One Voice

While different staff members and ministry areas may submit the various elements to be printed, the people reading your materials (especially new people) should see a clear message. Rather than each individual ministry saying, "Come to our event," treat your newsletter as the unified voice of the church, making people aware of key opportunities for worship, mission, fellowship, etc. It's the difference between twenty people swarming the new person with invitations and a new friend taking the visitor on a personal tour of the church.

4. Learn a Few Grammar Rules

You don't have to be a professional editor to catch and correct some of the most common errors. Here are a few tricky issues likely to come up in church communications:

"Bible" is capitalized, but "biblical" is not. Same with "God" and "godly."
Punctuation goes inside quotation marks. Like "this," not "this".
It's the book of Psalms, but each chapter is a psalm (e.g. Psalm 23). The final book of the Bible is Revelation, singular.
There/their/they're—learn the difference. Its and it's, as well.
Starbucks has no apostrophe. The coffee shop where your Bible study is held is not owned by a Mr. Starbuck, therefore, it is not "Starbuck's" coffee shop.

5. Proofread!

Even better, have someone else proofread for you, since often it takes a pair of fresh eyes to see mistakes in things with which we are too familiar. Many bloopers can be avoided just by giving written pieces a once-over before they head to the printer.

ARTICLE: Inspiration and Inclusion at the Inauguration

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 17:42:51 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

The inauguration of a president is inspirational in many ways.

The national colors and anthems, pomp and circumstance can fill spectators with patriotic joy, marveling at our democracy and the peaceful transfer of power we too often take for granted. But there is also the religious inspiration we find woven throughout the events of the day, from cries for and claims of God’s blessing in our patriotic songs, to the silent witness of Bibles on which the elected ones make their oaths, to overt mention of the divine in our leaders’ speeches.

Inaugurations have opened and closed with prayer since 1933, and many religious elements have been part of the day since the days of George Washington—taking the oath with one’s hand on a Bible, for example, and making mention of God in the inaugural address. Ending the oath with the phrase “so help me God” is not constitutionally part of the oath but was added spontaneously by Washington—and then by every subsequent holder of the office as a matter of tradition. From these “matters of tradition,” one could conclude that either our nation is devotedly Christian or that civil religion is so ingrained in our culture as to render such symbolic nods to faith meaningless.

In spite of those who say such religious elements—symbolic as they may be—have no place in national ceremonies such as the presidential inauguration, their presence is still a tacit requirement. (Who would be the president so foolish as to offend the nation’s religious majority, regardless of how he or she interprets the First Amendment?) With items like Bibles and prayers essentially non-negotiable, the questions are not “Bible or no Bible?” but “whose Bible?” and not “prayer or no prayer?” but “whose prayer?”

The answers to those questions this year evoked an inaugural theme fitting to both the national holiday with which the inauguration coincided (Martin Luther King Day) and the policies and priorities of the administration being sworn in for the second time: inclusion, freedom, and equality.

President Obama chose two Bibles on which to take the oath this time around. In addition to the Lincoln Bible, on which he took his oath in 2008, he also used a Bible of Martin Luther King, Jr. The symbolism of freedom and equality, harkening to both Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation (150 years ago this month) and the 20^th century fight for civil rights led by Dr. King, was rich, and evoked further in Obama’s speech, in which he called for equality for women, immigrants, and most controversially, “our gay brothers and sisters.”

It was this inclusion of gay rights that marks the inclusiveness of this inauguration as historic, even for progressive administrations. The issue first made news a few weeks before the inauguration when liberal advocacy group Think Progress challenged the White House’s inclusion of Atlanta pastor Louis Giglio in the inauguration lineup because of a sermon Giglio preached in the mid-1990s against homosexuality. Giglio, who was chosen to give the benediction primarily because of his advocacy against modern-day slavery, graciously bowed out of the festivities so that the controversy would not steal focus.

The benediction was instead given by Rev. Luis León of St. John’s Episcopal Church in Washington, D.C., who delivered the invocation at George W. Bush’s second inaugural. Fitting for the day, León evoked Martin Luther King’s “Beloved Community” in his benediction, asking that God would bless us to not be ruled by prejudice or by fear of those who are different.

León’s denomination, the Episcopal Church in the U.S.A., voted in July to approve the blessing of same-sex ceremonies, and the Washington National Cathedral announced earlier this month that it would begin hosting weddings for same-sex couples now that gay marriage is legal in the District of Columbia and the neighboring state of Maryland. The Cathedral was host to the traditional Inauguration Prayer Service, held on Tuesday, and included for the first time a gay clergyperson, Rev. Nancy L. Wilson of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches, a largely LGBT denomination.

Selection of the pastors who will represent the nation or speak to the nation at the inaugural events is clearly a fraught political decision, calling for diversity but also a reflection of the core values of the administration being honored. In the case of Obama’s second inauguration, the emphasis on inclusion and freedom shone through.

Kansas pastor Adam Hamilton, of the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection, was chosen to deliver the sermon at Tuesday’s prayer service. Leader of the largest church in the nation’s second largest Protestant denomination, Hamilton is known as a voice of moderation in American Christianity. While people lauded and criticized the President’s inaugural address the day before for its policy-related content, Hamilton offered perhaps a centering balance to debates that divide America and American Christians in particular.

Instructed only that his sermon should be “spiritual, inspiration, and inclusive,” Hamilton focused his message on Moses, the emancipator of Israel so many centuries before Lincoln, King, or any leader who fights for freedom today. Like Moses, Hamilton said, we need a leader who can cast a vision for America that unites and drives us forward.

“We’re in need of a new common national vision,” Hamilton said. “Not one that is solely Democratic or solely Republican. We need one or two goals or dreams that Americans on both sides of the aisle can come together and say, ‘Yes, that’s what it means to be American. That’s where we need to go.’”

The inspirational aspects of presidential inaugurations are difficult to divorce from the partisanship that landed one administration on the dais over another, but we evoke a Higher Power amidst all the nostalgia and policy to call us all to a higher goal than what we’ve achieved as a nation under leaders of all persuasions before this time.

ARTICLE: Kids Giving Back: Easy Christmas Break Ideas

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 21:18:37 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! Actually, it has been looking that way since early November, most places you go. But with Christmas now less than a week away, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas break for families with school-aged children, and I can't help but think of these lyrics from the song I've probably now gotten stuck in your head:

A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben;
Dolls that will talk and will go for a walk
Is the hope of Janice and Jen;
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again!

Kids eager to open those enticing packages waiting under the tree, and then growing bored and restless as those longed-for vacation days wear on—that's the scene in many houses by the time New Year's rolls around.

But there are things you can do to make those days meaningful and more fun than trying on new clothes and playing a new game over and over again. Families can use this time off of school to practice random acts of kindness and generosity to share the Christmas joy we celebrate even after the radio stations have stopped playing carols and neighbors start taking down their lights.

Trade boredom for an opportunity to bless others with these eight simple, fun, kid-friendly ways to delight friends and strangers alike and to help those in need.

Christmas-Break Kindness (for Kids!)

Tape money to a vending machine. Include a note saying "This one's on us. Merry Christmas!" What a nice surprise for someone to find the exact change they need when wanting a beverage or snack.

Send real mail. It's not just about etiquette or nostalgia. It's about bringing joy to others. People love to get mail—a personal note in the pile of bills and catalogs. Help children write sincere thank-you notes for gifts they received, and send letters to far-off relatives. If the child isn't old enough to write, take dictation and have the child draw a picture.

Donate used toys and clothes. Part of cultivating generosity in children is helping them recognize their own abundance and others' needs. Especially after receiving new items for Christmas, talk to children about how fortunate they are to have what they have. You may have made donations of new items before Christmas, but there is also great value in teaching children to give things of their own away for others to enjoy.

Serve those who serve. Help children "see" the often-invisible service providers in your daily life by giving a flower or candy cane to the clerks at your grocery store, mechanics who change your oil, or the maintenance worker at your church or apartment building. Make cookies for your church nursery workers, pediatrician's office, local police station, or firehouse.

Chalk it up! Use sidewalk chalk to decorate your street with a message of appreciation for your garbage collectors or encouragement on your neighbors' driveways.

Raise money for a good cause. Have a hot cocoa stand at the end of your driveway, or do odd jobs like hauling away dry Christmas trees, taking down Christmas lights, or shoveling snow, to raise money for charity. Go buy toiletries or canned goods to donate, so your child can see the tangible benefits of their fundraising.

Go visiting. Take cookies, flowers, or children's drawings to homebound persons or nursing home residents. More outgoing children will enjoy making conversation, and the presence of any child can brighten the day of an isolated or elderly person, even if the child is shy and prefers to color or play with a sibling during the visit.

Prepare for future opportunities. Sometimes acts of kindness and generosity fall by the wayside when school and work are in full swing and our schedules are jam-packed. Use Christmas break to make a stockpile of handmade cards that you can send throughout the year, or to pack gallon-size bags of toiletries, granola bars, and bottled water to keep in the car and give to homeless persons you see.

ARTICLE: Revitalization Takes Guts

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 16:51:32 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Honesty and courage.

These two words may call to mind a virtuous Boy Scout or a knight of King Arthur’s round table, but to Jorge Acevedo, they are the essentials for revitalizing churches in decline.

And Acevedo should know. Grace Church, the United Methodist congregation he leads, had lost half its members in a five year period before Acevedo was appointed there in 1996. Now, Grace is a thriving church with four campuses across southwest Florida. Three of those campuses were once languishing congregations that have been revitalized (the fourth is a grocery store turned community center).

Acevedo is passionate about revitalizing declining congregations, and his denomination overall. A major research study commissioned by The United Methodist Church found that only 15 percent of United Methodist congregations scored highly on indicators of vitality like small group involvement, pastoral training of lay leaders, mission engagement, and use of topical sermon series.

Nonetheless, Acevedo doesn’t ascribe blame for the state of congregations considered “less than highly vital.”

“It’s good people who lost their way,” he said. “They get caught up in institutional maintenance . . . and slowly shift focus from the community to themselves.”

Overcoming such myopia requires a greater awareness of today’s realities, and a willingness to make difficult decisions.

“I think the world changed and the church just didn’t see,” he said, pointing to statistics about the rising average age of church members, and the racial and socioeconomic homogeneity of congregations.

“Our culture is getting more diverse. We have to find a way to reach that generation.”

Numbers vs. Stories

While many churches are aware of their numerical decline, they may be deceiving themselves as to their qualitative vitality, Acevedo said.

Acevedo recalls a friend who consulted with a nondenominational church in numerical decline. The church proudly told the story of a prostitute who had given her life to Christ in their church, been discipled, and turned her life around. The consultant then learned that the inspiring tale had occurred fifteen years prior.

“They had been banking on that story all that time [to convince themselves they were bearing fruit],” Acevedo said.

“Some churches talk about how at Thanksgiving, they feed 150 families. But what are you doing the other 51 weeks of the year?” he wonders. “They tell one or two stories of good things they are doing, but use it to justify lack of fruitfulness.”

Some congregational leaders object to standards of measurement that focus on worship attendance, addition of new members, etc., protesting that numbers do not reflect true vitality, and that anecdotal stories of transformation paint a more accurate picture.

Acevedo agrees, to a point. “Vitality is about stories,” he acknowledges.

Indeed, his forthcoming book, Vital: Churches Changing Communities and the World (coming in January from Abingdon Press), is full of stories of vital congregations, making a difference in their communities that may or may not be correlated with greater worship attendance or membership.

Some of those vital congregations would be considered numerically “small” and “very small,” proving that size and vitality are not automatically linked.

“If you’re a church of 20, and grow to 40, you’re still very small, but movement is up,” Acevedo explained.

Some megachurches, while still big overall, are slowly declining, and are not growing in vital behaviors like small group participation, vibrant worship, or service and mission.

“My numbers-averse friends are right that it’s not all about worship attendance, but it’s not true that [numbers] don’t matter,” he said. “The overall trend of attendance matters. Going from 800 to 60 tells you something. It’s denial if you don’t see it.”

Acevedo acknowledges that worship attendance is currently “a little flat” at one of Grace’s campuses, but participation in small groups is up, and professions of faith are up.

But while Acevedo is not putting too much stock in worship attendance, he is also not ignoring the problem of stagnation.

“We’re fixing it,” he said. “We’re being honest about the problem, and constantly looking at our systems.”

Such honesty is a necessary precursor to revitalization efforts, according to Acevedo. Nothing can change so long as people make excuses and blame decline on outside factors, rather than examining their own practices and priorities.

“It takes being honest about the current reality and having the courage to do something about it.”

Taking Courageous Action

That courageous response includes pastors making their priorities known and using their energies on things more likely to bear fruit, says Acevedo.

He uses the example of a men’s group that met on Saturday mornings and brought in speakers like the town dogcatcher. He had to tell the group he would not be coming to their meetings any longer, that he needed to be home with his children on Saturday mornings, and that he would be starting a Bible study for men at 6 a.m. on a weekday morning.

“You can keep doing this, but I’m going to go over here and do this,” he told them, in effect.

“You have to say some things are not important. I’ll be kind, but I’m not going to give it attention,” he said. “Pastors spend a lot of time doing things they think people want them to do. But they could do other stuff. Set up a parallel universe. Like a magnet, people are drawn to that and the old either dies its own death or gets converted.”

Not everyone will like new initiatives, of course, whether they occur alongside long-standing programs or as a result of a declining church’s “adoption” by a more vital congregation.

Acevedo experienced such resistance from some members of the two struggling congregations that have been adopted and revitalized as campuses of Grace Church. When Central United Methodist Church in downtown Fort Myers voted on whether to be adopted by Grace, Acevedo was disheartened that a significant minority of the church’s remaining congregants voted to close their doors, rather than make the changes necessary to grow and thrive as a vital congregation.

Revitalization “takes institutional and personal courage . . . that God will give to us if we ask for it,” Acevedo said. “It takes guts.”

Beyond intestinal fortitude, however, leaders need to learn how to apply core principles to their own contexts, a process Acevedo calls “translation.”

Vital aims to help pastors in that task of translation, Acevedo says, by laying out five behaviors common across vital churches, and the principles that drive those behaviors.

Vital churches provide an “incubator for discipleship,” for example, but whether that takes the form of a home-based small group ministry or niche ministries like Building Better Moms, a program of St. Andrew UMC in Frisco, Texas, will depend on each church’s context.

St. Andrew's use of the moms group as a portal for reaching new people is one of the stories told throughout the book, illustrating how principles of vitality are expressed in a variety of ways, in churches big and small, urban and suburban. Changes undertaken by churches who accept the challenge of revitalization will vary as much as the context of each congregation, but courageous acceptance of that challenge is a common thread.

“Insanity is doing same thing over and over and expecting a different result,” Acevedo says. “Churches are caught in a pattern of doing yard sales to [raise money] and thinking that’s ministry."

“You can use all your energy for self-sustaining maintenance. But if you take your energy and apply it to new things out in the community, you will get different results.”

ARTICLE: VBS 2013 Theme Inspiration!

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 21:45:23 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Shhhh! Don't tell anyone on my church's staff, but I'm considering volunteering to coordinate next summer's VBS. I'm not quite ready to commit, but I'll admit that part of what gets me excited about VBS is the fact that if there's one thing I do well, it's take a theme and run with it. Planning kids' birthday parties and friends' baby showers thrills me to the core, so planning decorations, snacks, crafts, and more around the year's VBS theme is a natural sweet spot for me.

If you're anything like me, you'll want to check out Ministry Matters' VBS 2013 board on Pinterest for ideas to accompany a variety of the 2013 VBS themes!

Here's a heads up on a few recurring themes:

Funnel Cakes and Ferris Wheels

Both Cokesbury's Everywhere Fun Fair and Lifeway's Colossal Coaster World capture the fun of tickets and turnstyles with a carnival setting. Coaster World's faith message focuses on trusting God in the face of fear, with five stories from Acts about Paul's daring adventures. Everywhere Fun Fair combines a county fair motif with a World's Fair immersion experience as each session focuses on a different country and a different Bible story about welcoming and caring for our neighbors. I can imagine a great carnival event to bring families and together to celebrate at the end of the week.

Castles and Crowns

Group's main theme this year is Kingdom Rock, but if you're wanting to train your little knights as culture warriors, apologetics organization Answers in Genesis also has a medieval VBS, Kingdom Chronicles. Group's highlights five simple Bible truths to help kids grow strong in faith, while Answers takes the armor of God approach. Either way, stone walls and kid-friendly armor will bring Nottingham to life for little Sir Guy and Maid Marian.

Cattle and Cows

What's that? Those are the same thing? I guess so, but the distinction is putting that song from "Oklahoma!" in my head: "Oh, the farmer and the cowman should be friends!" On the farming side, we've got Group's Weekend VBS, HayDay, a short, simple VBS experience for churches short on time and volunteers with a cute cow mascot teaching about friendship with Jesus. On the ranching side, we've got Wild West cattle-roping fun with Gospel Light's SonWest Roundup. With Bible stories from Exodus and focus verses from John's gospel each day, there is a consistent focus on release and salvation.

And Beyond...

Beyond those recurring motifs, some creative and unique VBS themes of note this year are Abingdon Press's Hip-Hop Hope, which uses the fun, peace, and unity celebrated in hip-hop culture to send a message of hope and salvation. For young athletes, there's MEGA Sports Camp's Breaking Free VBS, and VBS coordinators who love CSI and Law & Order might enjoy Investigation Destination from the Regular Baptist Press.

Don't miss our VBS 2013 board on Pinterest—follow Ministry Matters and we'll follow you back!

ARTICLE: Evaluating Worship (with printable worksheet)

Tue, 13 Nov 2012 14:32:28 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

“I wish worship here could be more spiritual,” she said.

The woman clearly had an opinion about worship at her home church. She knew something felt different when she worshiped occasionally at another church across town, and she wished it could feel that way at the church to which she had belonged and had friends for many years.

But all she could say was that worship was more “spiritual” at the other church.

This was not feedback the pastor could use.

Our congregants, especially those who have been part of the same church for decades and have limited experience with other worship traditions, often lack the perspective and vocabulary to evaluate worship effectively. This might not seem to be a problem, and you may be thinking, “Why would I invite people to check out other churches or to play the comparison game among churches in our area?”

But for three groups of people in your congregation, some field trips and worship education can be invaluable tools both for the individuals’ faith development and the health of your worshiping community. Use the downloadable sheets at the end of this article to help your people ask the right questions when it comes to evaluating worship.

Worship Planners

People responsible for helping plan worship (a worship committee, altar guild, musicians, etc.) need more tools in their tool belt than just what has been done before in your particular setting. This mainly applies to laypeople who have limited experience with other congregations, but ministry professionals can also fall into a rut if they are not routinely experiencing worship in other contexts. Robert Winstead emphasizes that worship committees should strive to be the resident “liturgical experts” in the congregation by educating themselves on their own tradition and researching, testing, and innovating with different traditions and practices. (Read Winstead’s “A Better Worship Committee” on Ministry Matters.)

When trying to revitalize worship or start a new service, thoughtful observation of other churches' service is an essential part of the brainstorming process. Trying out and learning from other congregations’ worship doesn’t mean blindly imitating their practices, giving up your own style, or compromising on your theology. Rather, it is a way to get inspired, jumpstart creative thinking, and add to your (hopefully) ever-growing mental file cabinet of ideas on which to draw.

The Young or Young-in-Faith

Youth preparing for confirmation and adults who are new to your faith tradition or seeking to deepen their understanding of their faith need exposure to other styles and practices of worship in order to better understand their own tradition. It is easy to go through the motions of worship without understanding why we do things the way we do. It is easy to take our own tradition so for granted that we forget or discount the ways God speaks to other people.

Part of confirmation or membership preparation classes should be education about how our tradition fits into the “big picture” of religious traditions, both within Christianity and the whole scope of world religions. (Adam Hamilton’s Christianity’s Family Tree and Christianity and World Religions are good studies for these lessons.) Theology and history are central, of course, but there is also a lot to be learned from various traditions’ worship practices, which reflect a combination of theology, cultural context, and stylistic preferences.

Plan field trips to churches of other denominations and perhaps also a synagogue, mosque, gurdwara, or temple. Even apart from theological differences, worship in other traditions may introduce you to practices you find meaningful (drinking from a common cup rather than passing a plate, for example, or kneeling on the floor rather than sitting in pews).

The Discontented

Some people just like to complain, whether they have all the information or not, but sometimes expressions of discontent are based on valid issues that the person is simply unable to express in a clear or helpful way. Asking the right questions about worship can help someone identify and articulate what they are really feeling.

The woman who wanted worship to be more “spiritual,” for example, wanted worship in her small, traditional, country church to elicit the same emotions in her that the large, contemporary, new church plant did. Without the ability to examine the differences in the worship space, the music, the preaching, etc., she was left with a vague complaint that she laid on the pastor’s shoulders. With more understanding of worship traditions and styles, she might have been able to say, “I feel more connected to God when we sing upbeat praise songs. Could we try that here?” or, “I like reading the scripture on the screen while it’s being read aloud. Maybe I should open my Bible and read along while it’s being read here.”

Educating people about worship and exposing them to different traditions can help individuals better understand their own tradition, theology, and preferences; help them develop a deeper relationship with God by engaging in spiritual practices that are most meaningful to them; and enhance worship for the whole community by contributing ideas and giving constructive feedback on the congregation’s worship.

BLOG: Biblical Marriage: A Look at Love, Respect, and Submission

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 17:35:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

When I heard that Rachel Held Evans was calling her husband "master" for a week during her “Year of Biblical Womanhood,” my first thought (forgive my gutter-mind) was "I bet they had some really good sex that week."

Or, maybe not. Evans’ husband Dan said, "You think it'd be a turn-on, but it wasn't."

I recently read in Parenting magazine about a wife who said reading Fifty Shades of Grey improved her sex life when she began calling her husband “Mr. _____”. (Shannon Ethridge would have something to say about that, I’m sure, as well as the “Master” honorific.) I honestly don't know if my husband would like such a term of endearment, but it probably couldn't hurt.

I’d say that maybe the traditional manhood and womanhood people are onto something with their emphasis on male authority, but I imagine it is the novelty or playfulness of it that gives such hierarchical honorifics their fantasy potential. In Old Testament relationships, as much of an aphrodisiac as such power might have been for the men owning the harem, I’m sure it didn’t have the same effect on the women.

But certainly the Bible’s instruction on marriage is about more than master-concubine dynamic or its modern equivalent in marriages with extremely hierarchical power dynamics. (As Evans points out, even modern couples who claim to have a “complementarian” marriage that makes the husband the authority and leader of the home don’t usually stick to that philosophy in practical life.) Modern marriage workshops and Bible studies tend to emphasize the love and respect paradigm based on Paul’s admonition in Ephesians 5:22-33.

“Wives should submit to their husbands as if to the Lord. A husband is the head of his wife like Christ is head of the church, that is, the savior of the body. So wives submit to their husbands in everything like the church submits to Christ. As for husbands, love your wives just like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. . . . Each one of you should love his wife as himself, and wives should respect their husbands.” (Eph. 5:22-25, 33 CEB)

Of course, the verse before all this says “Submit to one another out of respect to Christ” (v. 21, emphasis mine), and obviously, both parties in a marriage need love and respect, but is it too extreme a stereotype to say women need love more than men, and men need respect more than women?

I am a fully liberated woman myself, with a career and the ability to speak my mind on any issue I wish. I make approximately the same amount of money as my husband, and I’m the primary bill payer, budget-monitor, etc. We parent as a team and take on tasks as needed, from cooking and laundry to changing light bulbs and unclogging toilets. He mows the yard and I nurse the baby, but that’s about the extent of our gender-dictated responsibilities.

I’d call what we have a fully egalitarian marriage, built on love and mutuality—a true partnership. But I have to admit, as a wife, I really struggle with being respectful to my husband.

I grew up in a house where we spoke our minds to one another, and we knew that harsh words didn't mean we didn't love one another. And especially in this age when it is popular to portray men as bumbling idiots, overgrown adolescents, and bombastic fools, I admit that I too often give in to the “look at the silly man—how would they ever survive without us?” dynamic.

Biblically, I would probably be stoned for my insolence. My husband is a pretty good sport, but it gets serious when, because he is a generally more easygoing person, I become the dictator and look down my nose at him for his Type B personality. I tend to micromanage and nag and critique. It's my nature, but it's not respectful—or loving!

Heresy alert: I need to submit more. Not because I’ve gotten above my station as a woman by being an equal partner in our marriage, but because our submission to one another is off balance.

I've started noticing that I feel happier with our marriage when I am being a bit more domestic, focusing more on my service to our family than on the reciprocity of his contributions. But it’s not the domesticity itself that matters. Whether it takes the form of cooking a big breakfast in the morning, taking out the garbage so he doesn’t have to mess with it, or minding our bank account without acting like a martyr, I need to be a better servant. This isn’t a “woman’s place” sort of thing—it’s a Jesus thing.

I have to say that this is really the element of Evans’ book, A Year of Biblical Womanhood, that I appreciated most: the way she rediscovered the value of virtues that have been unfairly relegated to a—forgive the pun—domesticated version of biblical womanhood.

During her month focused on gentleness, she discovers that a “gentle, quiet spirit” is not about being meek and mild, but “strong enough to hold back, secure enough to soften.” She finds that kicking the habits of snark, gossip, swearing, complaining, and nagging are not just about being more ladylike, but about “regaining control” over her authentic personality. Or, as my husband says in his prayer before the sermon each Sunday, “Lord, make us masters of ourselves, that we might be the servants of others.”

During her month focused on domesticity, she discovered the joy of hospitality and the peace of meeting God in simple tasks like basting a turkey—not because God can only meet a woman in the kitchen, but because God is everywhere, including the kitchen.

And later, during her month focused on submission, she tried to cultivate the “disposition to yield” and to be a “helpmeet” in the bastardized version of the term (i.e. a helper with no authority, as opposed to a fitting and equal partner, a perfect match). Surely this was the virtue in which Evans least expected to find value, throwing her copy of Created to Be His Helpmeet, with its Stepford wife-like instructions, across the room seven times. But after debunking the modern biblical manhood/womanhood movement’s definition of submission and focusing instead on the Bible itself and the context of the early church, she finds in submission the essence of Christlike humility and a subversion of the world’s hierarchical orders.

In Christ, the first shall be last and the last shall be first. There shall be no more master and slave, man and woman, for all are one. The one who is “in his very nature, God,” lowered himself to take on “the very nature of a servant.” And we who follow Christ should seek to do the same, both in our marriages and as humble servants of all people, in Jesus' name.

ARTICLE: Post-Election Day Devotion

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 17:09:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

With Election Day on a Tuesday, Wednesday night meals and programs at church provide an excellent opportunity to pray together for unity, for peace, for wisdom for newly elected or re-elected officials, and for perspective among Christ's body that we are first citizens of God's kingdom. No matter who wins, take a few minutes at dinner or before Bible study to observe this brief devotion together.

Reflection

Yesterday was a big day in the United States. Whether you are happy with or disappointed in the outcome of the presidential race or any state and local races, we have a lot to be thankful for. For the right to vote and have a say in our electoral process. For people willing and eager to serve in these pressure-filled positions. As contentious and polarized as our campaign seasons can be, we have a 200+ year tradition of peaceful transitions of power. We may not realize how remarkable that is until we look at the coups, revolutions, and other violence that has occurred in other nations throughout history and around the world even today.

We have heard and read (and maybe even ourselves said) some pretty nasty and divisive things about the candidates, our fellow citizens who happen to hold different political opinions, and even the electoral process itself. If we have not already, it is time to put mean-spiritedness and alarmist attitudes aside. If your candidate won, let's acknowledge that he will not solve all our nation's problems or perform miracles of any kind. We need not act like the nation narrowly avoided disaster.

If your candidate lost, let's acknowedge that our nation will not crumble under someone else's administration. The world is not coming to an end. As citizens of God's kingdom, let's acknowledge and remember that God is at work in the world no matter who leads our country, and that God loves and wants health and peace and plenty for all the people of the world. We are part of something much bigger than one nation, and we work on behalf of a much greater cause.

Today and going forward, let's remember to pray for our country, our leaders, and all who work to make a better world. Let us pray.

Prayer

Eternal God, Who has sought Your people across the generations, we open ourselves to Your presence in this moment of newness for our country. We pray for peace and prosperity in our land. We are grateful for the freedom in which we have been able to choose a leader. We are glad to praise You on this day that stirs hope for some, which brings disappointment for some, but which is a time for acknowledging Your goodness by all.

For our country — Lord, hear our prayer.

We are thankful for all those who offered themselves for offices of service and vision, and for all public servants. Give them discernment. Give them wisdom. Give them vision. Grant them the patience of cooperation. We pray for [losing candidate] and his family, that they will mourn the loss with integrity and move confidently forward in whatever work you call them to do.

We pray for [president-elect] and his family, that they will celebrate their victory with humility and serve in faithful stewardship of this high post. Grant him a sensitive heart, a clear mind, a willing spirit, and an active courage. Help him serve wisely with both caution and risk, and always to Your glory.

For our leaders — Lord, hear our prayer.

God of all the nations, You have called all people to lives of righteousness and justice, peace and wholeness. But we confess that sometimes we have cared more for lofty places than we have for places of service. We confess that sometimes we have worked more for power than we have for purpose. Help us be humble enough to work together with those with whom we disagree for sake of the common good.

Keep ever before us the broken places of our life together, places of despair and disappointment. Set our ears to hear the cry of the poor. Set our eyes to see the needs of the sick. And blend us with all people of good will, both in this place and beyond, to be a light to the world, bringing freedom to the oppressed and hope to all in need.

For our hearts — Lord, hear our prayer. Amen.

Prayer adapted from selections from Just in Time! Pastoral Prayers in Public Places, available in the Ministry Matters Premium Subscription.

ARTICLE: New Year's Visitors

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 18:56:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

New Year’s resolutions are a celebration of good intentions. Some we stick with, some we don’t, but the goal is always to make changes that we know are good for us, even if they don’t come easily. Lose weight. Quit smoking. Get out of debt.

For some folks, church attendance is one of those “I know it’s good for me” sorts of things that requirethe willpower and momentum a New Year’s resolution can provide. People who have gotten out of the habit of Sunday worship might commit themselves to more regular attendance. People who grew up in church might feel compelled to find a church through which their children can be exposed to religion.

You can make the most of people’s good intentions with a few practices to draw potential January visitors to your church, and to keep them involved when their “resolve” wears off.

Make January Big

Preach a sermon series that will grab the attention of newcomers and tap into the momentum we all feel in the new year for making changes and making this year great. A series on “running the race” or living the good life by God’s standards will give people a spiritual jumpstart for the year. A series on the basics of the Christian faith, the grand story of the Bible, or an exploration of Jesus’ life and mission can lay the groundwork new people may need to go deeper in faith.

Start Something New

People like to get in on the ground floor of new groups and initiatives; it’s less intimidating than joining something already in progress. So use January to kick off a new format for Wednesday night programming or start a new Sunday school class. Form a new group to visit the homeless shelter or nursing home each week. Help new people make connections with one another, and encourage long-time members to break out of their usual circles so new people don’t feel like they are on the outskirts of a clique.

Help People Succeed

Offer tools to help people with common resolutions they may have made by launching a recovery support group, an exercise group, or a money management workshop. Some people resolve to spend more time helping others, so extend lots of invitations to serve in both one-time and ongoing ministries. Committed Christians may want to deepen their spiritual discipline in the new year with a Bible-reading plan or daily prayer guide.

Focus on Fellowship

One of the most common New Year’s resolutions is to prioritize relationships with family and friends. Help people deepen relationships and make new friends by planning events tailor-made for inviting others. A Super Bowl party or scrapbooking retreat provides a perfect opportunity for church members to invite friends and neighbors with similar interests to join in the fun and meet others in the congregation.

Many churches use weekend services to reach new people and then invite them to get involved in small groups as they become more committed. Why not reverse things and use small group gatherings as opportunities for people to invite friends and neighbors? People who like the groups may choose to come to worship or get involved in larger-group ministries.

Start with Christmas

Whatever you plan to do, make sure your Christmas visitors are aware of what’s to come in the new year. Television networks relentlessly promote their other shows during big television events like the Super Bowl or the Oscars because they know they have a "captive" audience that might be interested in their other programming. Christmas Eve visitors are people who are already marginally connected to your church, whether through a relative or friend, or through simple proximity to your building. Use a video or well-planned announcement to build excitement and give them a specific reason to return in the new year.

For more ideas and insights, see Ministry Matters' Keeping Christmas Visitors bin.

BLOG: On Christian Celebrity

Fri, 12 Oct 2012 21:51:27 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

In college, there was a group I thought of as “the elite Christian crew.” They were the cool kids active in the bigger campus ministries at our formerly-Baptist liberal arts college. The guys wore Birkenstocks or flip-flops and some had longish hair and maybe a goatee. They were trying to look like Jesus, I hypothesized, with their sandals and suburban-hippie vibe.

They were great people, as far as I was aware, serious about their faith, and genuine in their desire to bring others into the fold. But they were still kind of a clique, and I wondered to myself at the irony of “popular Christians.” Among the general strata of "big men" and "big women" on campus, some were very religious and others weren’t; it wasn’t really the concept of Christians being well-known or holding campus leadership positions that seemed odd, but the idea that among the community of faith there would be a cream-of-the-crop that others couldn’t seem to touch seemed out of place for followers of someone as humble and egalitarian as Jesus.

Fast forward ten years and I work in “the biz.” Not Hollywood, not country music, but the religion biz. Christian media. And there is another elite Christian crew. There are celebrity pastors and mega-bloggers, and all those worship leaders and other cool kids still recovering from last week’s Catalyst conference. These days, it can feel as if “success” in ministry depends not just on love of God, love of people, and the ability to help those people connect to that God—but on coolness. On celebrity.

It can feel like the people who are really making a difference must be those with the overflowing auditoriums for all three Sunday morning services, or those whose books are hitting bestseller lists and being discussed in small groups nationwide, those with thousands of Twitter followers and Facebook fans.

Comparing ourselves to these “celebrity Christians” can spark feelings of inadequacy, defensiveness, resentment, cynicism, and misplaced ambition. They rear their ugly (green, monster-ish?) heads when we compare blog readership, worship attendance numbers, relative hipness of our worship style or personal fashion, compliments after the service, or even something as simple as “likes” on a Facebook status.

The Folly of Collecting Followers

I was struck by the following confession I recently read in a book:

“I had taken pride in getting responses to witty things I’d post or compliments from long-lost acquaintances about my beautiful family or my relative 'success' in life.”

Reminds me of that tree falling in the woods. If something interesting happens to us and we don’t announce it on Facebook, did it really happen? Or worse, if we announce that interesting thing but no one else seems to find it interesting, was it really interesting? It’s no longer just my mother giving feedback on every element of my life and influencing my self-esteem—it’s 400 virtual acquaintances.

It’s easier than ever for our self-worth to be determined externally, and we find ourselves craving and chasing after the affirmation of people we don’t really even know, and who certainly don’t really know us. And yet we all seem to want more of these people in our lives, if for no other reason than to report a large number when asked about our “platform.”

As the aforementioned penitent said, “I had let triple-digit ‘friends’ become a status.”

If the trend of de-friending all but real-life friends is any indicator, maybe some people are realizing the folly of collecting connections like lucky pennies. But I’m intrigued by how these realizations strike not just those chasing after such vain things, but also those who have seemingly caught them—the well-known, widely-read, “successful” people the rest of us watch from afar. You occasionally hear about a Christian celebrity who has gotten fed up with the machine and decides to drop out of the game. Anne Jackson and Francis Chan come to mind as prime examples (though Chan hopped right back into the fray when the Rob Bell/Hell hubbub presented a prime publishing opportunity).

The author I cited above, who realized his or her Facebook folly, appears to be another Christian celebrity dropping out of the game. I don’t know his or her name because the book, Embracing Obscurity: Becoming Nothing in Light of God’s Everything is written anonymously.

That’s right—the cover says “Anonymous,” and only a few people at publisher Broadman-Holman know who he or she is. The author won’t be doing any book tours or signings, promoting the book on his or her blog, or even getting royalties, I suspect, since it would be hard to cover that legal and financial trail of copyrights and royalty payments. (I do hope the marketing firm promoting it recognizes the irony in publicizing a book advocating obscurity, though obviously books must be publicized or they will have little impact.)

Becoming Nothing

Though as a publishing nerd I am forming hypotheses about the mysterious author as I read, I am nonetheless taking the book’s message to heart as well. I don’t expect to ever be famous, and the author points out that, really, even so-called famous people are fairly obscure in the great scheme of things. (Try to name all 43 U.S. Presidents or the last ten Best Actor winners if you doubt that fact.) But it’s about more than accepting that we will likely “live and die unnoticed,” as “just another of the roughly one hundred billion people to have ever graced this planet.”

“Even when an overarching, global obscurity has been assigned to us, we still have a choice of whether to embrace personal obscurity—an obscurity of heart as much as a position.”

All of us, the author suggests, are prone to acting like we’re on the verge of celebrity. We give ourselves “subtitles” to stake out our identity, and we cling to them. Strip them away, and we risk becoming “nobody.”

If you were no longer Senior Pastor, no longer the smartest person in the room, no longer “the funny one”—could you handle it? If you cleaned toilets for a living, if you took a job way below your educational level, if you lost everything you had—could you be content? Would you still know your worth as a child of God?

Feeling inferior is not the same as being humble. Whether you are in an invisible, little-respected position or an ambitious leader craving more recognition, thinking lowly of yourself is still focusing on yourself, not on God or other people. It is when you can get over that that you are free to serve. In becoming nothing, you can become somebody for God.

So Is Christian Celebrity Wrong?

Seeking fame for fame’s sake is generally considered vain and obnoxious no matter who you are, but as Christians, we claim to follow the example of one who “Though he was in the form of God, he did not consider being equal with God something to exploit. But he emptied himself by taking the form of a slave . . .” (Phil. 2:6-7).

If Christ, our master, himself took the form of a slave, and "no slave is greater than his master," it seems we shouldn't really be striving to be on top of the heap. Christ calls us to be servants, to take the lowest place and care about the lowliest people in society.

But then again, while Jesus embodied selfless servanthood, he also gained quite a bit of notoriety. That’s inevitable when you’re performing miracles and healing people. Anonymous addresses this in the final chapter, "Embracing the Spotlight."

"Jesus certainly didn't go chasing after [fame]. it came to Him, and He embraced it as God's will for His life. He subsequently used His Christian-famous status to bring God's kingdom to the lost, the desperate, and the marginalized. . ."

"What if—like Moses, Joseph, Ruth, and David—God gives us a position of influence or authority. . . . Will we use it for God's glory or our own? Will we allow the spotlight to illuminate the way, or will we be blinded by it?"

There are plenty of celebrity Christians using their platform for good things. The danger, it seems, is chasing celebrity to feed your own ego, perhaps with the excuse of all the good things you'll do with your fame once you have it. Or stumbling innocently into celebrity and then using it to abuse others or to glorify yourself.

I think of people, however, who have gone faithfully about their business and gradually grown more visible, using their platform to rally support for poverty relief or to share a message that changes lives. I think of people who are thrust into the spotlight in ways they never wanted (survivors of tragedies, for example) who use that undesirable opportunity to touch other lives.

It’s not the notoriety—the popularity, the celebrity—itself, but how you get it and what you do with it once you’ve got it.

Like obscurity, celebrity is a matter of the heart.

ARTICLE: Invitation is Everyone's Job

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 17:34:51 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

In a recent article on increasing your worship attendance, I distilled five major tips from a list of fifty great tips by Bob Crossman. Those five things, however, involve strategy, organization, and generally at least a little money. For leaders and budgets already spread too thin, assembling a new team of letter-writers or parking-lot greeters may be just one more thing on a long list of "should-dos."

The fact of the matter is, everyone in the church plays a role in hospitality and evangelism. The following list contains things that anyone can do—without running it by a committee, without asking for church funds, without taking a class on evangelism. Print the PDF attached below and post it for your people to see. Let them know that bringing new people into the church is everyone's job.

10 Things Everyone Can Do

1. Commit to faithful worship attendance yourself.

Your presence is important to both your spiritual growth and the vitality of your church. Visitors who see a vibrant community with a "critical mass" of people will be more likely to return.

2. Follow up with people who are absent.

People like to know they are missed. Check in on friends, choir mates, or others who miss worship to make sure all is well. Phone calls and handwritten notes are nice, but even a quick Facebook post lets people know that their church friends care and their presence matters.

3. Never judge people who drift away from the church.

You can't determine the condition of someone's faith by their worship attendance. They may be attending elsewhere, they may find it difficult to return after the death of a loved one, or they may have to work on Sundays. Whatever the reason, guilt trips are not helpful. Continue to love them and offer pressure-free invitations to worship and other activities.

4. Personally invite others.

There's still nothing like a personal invitation to convince a friend, neighbor, or coworker to give your church a try. Special events like choir concerts, kids events, or service projects may be easier entryways to church than Sunday morning worship.

5. Keep your worship bulletin on hand.

Circle worship times or a specific calendar event, and pass it along to someone with a personal invitation to come. Offer to meet them for coffee beforehand so they won't have to arrive alone.

6. Keep your eyes peeled.

Even if your church has greeters and excellent signs pointing the way to the bathroom, be aware of people who look uneasy or lost and offer assistance. Watch for people in the parking lot who could use a hand—a parent wrangling three kids and a diaper bag, or someone without an umbrella on a rainy day.

7. Put others before yourself.

Welcoming new people into the church can often mean getting outside our comfort zones. Be open to new people and new ways of doing things. Choose to value a new person's introduction to Christ more than your own preferences.

8. Adopt a newcomer.

Beyond just greeting new people, invite them to sit with you. Help them understand anything confusing in the worship service. Invite them to lunch after church and introduce them to others as you would a friend. Follow up with them later in the week with your hopes that they will come again.

9. Catch visitors before they leave.

It is estimated that guests leave the church building within three minutes of the service ending. Greet visitors after worship before speaking to family and friends.

10. Pray for people without a church home.

Ask God to open your eyes to people in need of a loving Christian community and to open doors for you to invite them. God can use you to change someone's life.

ARTICLE: Increase Worship Attendance

Tue, 21 Aug 2012 13:32:09 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

In a recent stewardship article, Bob Crossman's first suggestion for increasing giving is to increase worship attendance, since most people will not give when they do not come.

Easier said than done, though, right?

Crossman offers fifty tips for increasing worship attendance in an article on ChurchLeadership.com (downloadable below) but to me, at least, even fifty feels overwhelming. So I had to boil it down. Share the list of fifty with your leadership team, hospitality committee, or your congregation's most avid evangelist. Examine your church's strengths and weaknesses when it comes to welcoming and retaining new people, and form a plan of action. But here are five easy first steps to get you started.

Respond to Absentees

Making sure people know they are missed is a first step to maintaining the people you already have. Crossman recommends forming a care team for this purpose. The team would review attendance each week and reach out to usually-regular attendees who have missed several weeks in a row by phone or with a handwritten note. Even more effective is asking someone closer to that person to reach out—a fellow choir member or person who usually sits near them is more meaningful to hear from than a committee member they may not even know.

Canvas Your Community

"It is more effective to cover the same 500 doors six times, than to do 3,000 doors one time," says Crossman. It often takes repeat exposure to get a response, and focusing attention on surrounding neighborhoods shows a commitment to your community. If your budget allows, produce high-quality mailings to send to every address in your surrounding zip codes. Even without pricy mailings, you can mobilize teams to go out into nearby neighborhoods, inviting people to an upcoming worship or special event. Be a positive presence in your community by raking leaves, picking up trash, and offering free, fun events.

Be Web Savvy

How easy is it for someone to stumble onto your church website? Google with terms someone looking for a church in your area might use—are you on the first page of results? (Learn to boost your SEO—Search Engine Optimization—with these tips from Keith Anderson.) Once someone finds your website, how easy is it for them to find your worship times, directions, and other pertinent information? Make sure your worship times and address are on the front page or accessible with an obvious link to that page. (Ministry Matters' secret church shopper, John Q. Visitor, gives some insight into first impressions on church websites and otherwise.)

Direct Traffic

Have you ever visited one of those really big churches with neon-vested volunteers directing traffic in the parking lot? In churches that big, they are helpful for preventing chaos in the parking lot, but what I remember about those experiences is not how easy it was to park, but the enthusiastic welcome those folks gave me and everyone driving into the lot. You don't need a giant lot to make parking lot greeters worthwhile. Simply having people in bright garb waving and smiling as cars pull in is an energy-booster for members and visitors alike. "On rainy days, they can escort people to the door under a church umbrella," Crossman suggests. Indoor traffic guides are a good idea as well, to point lost-looking people to the bathroom, nursery, or worship space.

Expect Newcomers

This sounds basic, or maybe like a "power of positive thinking" thing, but really—do you plan, speak, and conduct worship with the assumption that there will be people in attendance that you don't know? How will people who have no experience with your style of worship, your programs, your building, or your people experience worship at your church? Is the way to the bathroom clearly marked? Is it clear what people should do when in the service?

Think about how every announcement you make, every note in the bulletin, and every invitation to participate would sound to a new person. Put on those special listening ears and you may hear things like,

"If you want to participate in 'Fall for Friendship' this year, talk to Terry after the service." (What is 'Fall for Friendship'? Who is Terry?)
"We're glad to see Betty Sue is back this week. Good to see you, Betty!" (This seems like a really tight-knit group. I'm not sure there's room for me in this family circle.)
"The table is now prepared; come as you are able." (Huh?)
"Praise God from whom all blessings flow..." (Why are they standing? Where are the words to this song?)

Check out Josh Mauney's People We Haven't Met Yet for more on this point.

What have you found makes the biggest impact on worship attendance in your church?

ARTICLE: Helping People Spend Wisely

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:12:58 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Christmas is a half-trillion dollar industry in the United States. Gifts, decorations, big meals, travel, cards, shipping. . . all this merriment comes with a hefty price tag, if we let it. In the church, our people may spend Sunday mornings in November and December thinking about the “reason for the season,” but Monday through Saturday, you can bet most of their seasonal attention is on earning, spending, and planning how to spend money.

How can we as church leaders help people resist the consumerism, materialism, and debt-slavery that threatens their spiritual and physical well-being this Christmas? By being a moral compass, offering creative options for gift-giving, and providing practical guidance for handling money as people whose real treasure is elsewhere.

Moral Compass

The church talks about Jesus. That’s kind of the point. But at Christmas, more than any other time of the year, cultural values clash with spiritual values and make it harder than ever to live like Jesus. So we have to be proactive in our expression of what Christmas is all about.

“Preachers have been silent too long on the issues of consumer culture's grip, its resulting debt, its idolatry, and its misuse of resources,” says Marti Zimmerman, a pastor in Salt Lake City.

From the pulpit, in Sunday school classes and small groups, and in all other activities of the church, keep the focus on Jesus and the purpose of his coming to earth. Movements like Christmas is Not Your Birthday and the Advent Conspiracy seek to reclaim the weeks leading up to Christmas from those who would dub it “the shopping season,” and call us to direct our resources toward the “least of these” in the world.

“This goes way beyond putting a pair of mittens on the mitten tree in the church lobby, or buying some ten dollar toy for a child,” says Mike Slaughter, author of the book Christmas is Not Your Birthday. “We need to learn not just to make donations but to give sacrificially.”

The church can provide ample opportunities to give to others—more sacrificially than just the “mitten tree”—collecting and distributing clothes, toys, and food as many do, but also cultivating a spirit of generosity that extends beyond money and material giving. The church can provide opportunities to serve others, giving our time and energy as well as our finances.

Chris Hogan, Director of Financial Coaching and Counseling for The Dave Ramsey Group, urges churches to be holistic in their calls for stewardship at Christmas and year-round, so that people don’t feel pressured to give money they don’t have.

“People should know what they can afford to give,” Hogan says. “Emphasize the value of giving your time as well.”

Creative Options for Gift Giving

We can encourage alternatives to spending a lot of money on gift exchanges with family and friends as well. Homemade gifts, meals, heartfelt letters, and even babysitting can be blessings worth far more than money can buy. Offer a craft night where people can make gifts, or distribute a list of low- or no-cost gift ideas (Pinterest has plenty!)

Since much of the pressure to overspend comes from children and their never-ending wish lists, we can help parents instill values of simplicity and gratitude in children as well.

“Kids don’t often understand what things cost or how much you can afford,” says Hogan. “Communicate with them what you can afford to spend. Teach them it’s not about stuff.”

Frameworks for gift-giving can help parents control spending and manage kids’ expectations. Two popular ideas among Christian mom bloggers include: “Want/Need/Wear/Read,” in which kids get just four gifts, falling into these mostly-practical categories; and the simple concept of “three gifts because that’s how many Jesus got.”

Alternative gift giving is another way the church can facilitate creative options for giving both to our family and friends and to those in need—all in the same gift! People can buy a flock of geese for $20 through Heifer International, a beehive and beekeeper training for $60 through the United Methodist Committee on Relief, or a $100 microloan for a woman in a third world country through World Vision. Most people know they don’t need more stuff and will appreciate that you gave money in their honor to people who have real needs—not for geese or bees but for the economic opportunity those gifts provide.

Practical Guidance

Zimmerman creates and distributes a wallet-sized card to her congregation in November with five questions designed to help people make more responsible decisions as they are doing their Christmas shopping, including “Can you afford it?” and “Where will this product end up [when the recipient no longer wants or needs it]?”

Practical tools like this can help people be more conscious of their spending and view the gifts they purchase in a long-term context, both personally and globally. Such awareness is key to responsible spending, Hogan says. “Look at what you can afford to spend. Know what money you have to live on, how much extra there is.”

“Anyone who doesn’t have a plan for their money will be bound to trip up,” says Hogan.

For example, be prepared to resist the offer of saving 10% at the register if you open a credit card with the store, he advises. Use cash so you know how much you have to spend, especially on days like Black Friday, so “deals” don’t lead you to spend more overall.

Christmas may present a particular challenge, but financial responsibility is a year-round process in which the church can play a part with educational and spiritual formation opportunities. Classes like Financial Peace University help people get out of debt and manage their resources wisely, and annual stewardship programs can help people view their finances through the lens of faith, giving to God what is God’s and living more simply and generously as followers of Christ.

Financial decisions are personal for each individual and family in your congregation, but with money being a frequent topic in scripture and a common idol in our society, the church has a duty to speak up and offer ideas and education to help people use their money wisely.

BLOG: Meaning the Words We Sing and Say

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:18:57 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

I grew up Disciples of Christ, a Second Great Awakening denomination that boasts “no creed but Christ.” Any communal recitations besides the Lord’s Prayer were rare, and we certainly never recited the Apostle’s or Nicene Creed. When I started attending an Episcopal church with my boyfriend in college, all the litanies and responses rubbed me the wrong way. They felt meaningless and rote. It was so easy to just read along without giving any thought to what you were saying, much less whether you actually believed it.

Surprisingly, however, this potential for meaninglessness actually ended up making my time in the Episcopal Church very meaningful. I was so determined to feel something personal in these communal recitations that I became very reflective and intentional about what I was saying, leading to much greater, deeper engagement with the beliefs, confessions, and affirmations being expressed—and with it, a greater connection with God and that community of faith.

And as this was happening, I realized something else: Anything can be rote and meaningless if we let it be.

Just as I could have easily recited the Nicene Creed or Great Thanksgiving without taking those words to heart, I could sing the latest Chris Tomlin song on autopilot, ending the song with little awareness of what I’d just sung, the same way you arrive at a destination with no recollection of the actual drive.

So I’ve been intentional over the years to mean the words I say and sing in church—internalizing litanies and lyrics to pray them from my soul, and even refraining from verbalizing certain phrases I find theologically objectionable. And since I’m a bizarre little denominational mutt, I’ve wrestled with this issue just as much in a darkened auditorium with lyrics scrolling on a psychedelic screen as I did in the breathtaking Episcopal sanctuary. I want the words I sing and say to verbalize things that I actually feel and believe, not just those of a songwriter or theologian.

But that kind of intentionality requires a lot of thought. A lot of concentration. And I’ve wondered lately if I’m so hung up on making sure my brain is on board with the words of worship that my heart’s participation in worship gets stifled. Would it be so bad if I let my brain off the hook and just let my heart sing? If a song was in a language I did not understand, wouldn’t the energy and joy of my voice still be pleasing to God? Wouldn’t it produce even more joy in me if I weren’t agonizing over words, words, and more words?

This internal dialogue (clearly, I have lots of words going around my head) has taken on a new dimension now that I sing in the worship band of a new Sunday evening service my church started. I have always loved to sing praise music, so it is a joy to sing it every week. But I’ve learned that singing in front of God and everybody is a little harder than just singing in front of God.

First off, I’m really bad at remembering the order of things. Is it verse 1, chorus, verse 2, bridge? Or verse 1, verse 2, chorus, bridge? And how many times are we repeating the chorus at the end? Even if I have it written down, I lose count while we’re singing, so I have to count on my fingers. If I dare think too much about the words I’m singing, I’ll most certainly miss an entrance. And if I dare get lost in the emotion of singing praises, it’s all over.

In these times when I am ministering to others by helping lead worship, all I can do is concentrate on the song itself, singing it to the best of my ability. As I get more comfortable in this “up front” role, I’m able to relax a bit more, and thus be more personally expressive in my singing, but I am still forced to live in the moment, to forget doctrine I ponder and any spiritual baggage that I may carry, and to let the vibrations of my vocal chords be their own praise. To trust that there is more to a song than words, my thoughts and feelings, and what they mean to me. Even if my song is “joyful noise,” the spirit from which it comes forth means something to God.

BLOG: Olympics Sermon Ideas and More

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 21:22:53 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

As the number of television stations, websites, and every other diversion increases, it gets harder and harder to find cultural references that most people in your congregation can connect with. "American Idol," most people are familiar with even if they have no idea who's the current frontrunner; but "True Blood"? Is that the one about zombies? Or melodramatic phlebotomists?

Thank goodness for the Olympics! Finally, a concept of which people nationwide—nay, worldwide—tend to have a decent grasp. And as a result, it makes the perfect theme for late summer, when the thrill of summer vacation is gone but school's not quite back in session to bring everyone back for intensive fall activities. From worship to fellowship, there's lots of stuff in the church we can do using the London Games as a launching pad. Some connect with spiritual metaphors as we "run the race" and "press on toward the prize," and others are just for fun.

Sermon Starters

The opening ceremonies are Friday, July 27, so time is short to plan a full series now, but if you are still planning the next few Sundays, consider the following Olympic-inspired themes, even if just for a single sermon. These could also inspire timely devotions for a youth group or small group gathering.

Olympic Events: Explore lessons from some biblical heroes using various events as a vehicle. Wrestling (Jacob wrestling with the angel in Genesis 32), Shooting (David taking down Goliath in I Samuel), Weightlifting (Samson in Judges 13-16), Swimming (Jonah!), Rowing (the disciples sailing in the storm, Mark 6 and elsewhere), etc.

Passing the Torch: Focus on training future generations for kingdom work by examining stories of torches that were passed—from Moses to Joshua, Elijah to Elisha, Paul to Timothy, etc. Combine with the above, and this could be the 400 Meter Relay! (Inspired by Pastor Joe's Blog, from Horizon Church)

The Games: Faster, Higher, Stronger: Athletic themes abound in Paul's letters, from training and endurance to teamwork and striving for an ultimate goal. Challenge people to a plan for disciplined spiritual formation. Check out I Corinthians 9:24-25, Philippians 3:13-14, Hebrews 12, and I Corinthians 15:50-58 for inspiration. (via Church of the Resurrection)

Sermon Illustrations

Make your point with a relevant story or quote from Olympic history. Here are a few from the Sermon Illustrator, a free resource in the Ministry Matters Library.

In the 1992 Olympics, Janet Evans won the silver medal in the 400-meter, freestyle swim. She had the lead right up to the finish, but her hand touched the wall four-tenths of a second too late for first place. The television announcer explained to the puzzled viewers that Janet looked back right at the end, and that glance backward cost her the gold medal.
When Kristi Yamaguchi fell to the ice in the 1992 Winter Olympics, the crowd groaned. Everyone thought her chance for a gold medal had been destroyed by the fall. But Kristi quickly got to her feet, flashed a smile, and resumed her program. She received high scores from the judges, despite the mistake, and she won the gold medal. It happened because though she fell, she didn't stay down—she got back on her feet.
The ancient Greek athletes used to run races almost completely unclothed. They wanted nothing to hold them back in their race. The writer of Hebrews had this in mind when he spoke of "laying aside every weight."
Six young men were slated to compete against one another in Seattle, Washington. The event was the hundred-yard dash. The men lined up, waited for the starting gun, and took off in a sprint. About halfway down the track the man in front stumbled and fell, skinning his hands and knees. The other five men stopped and helped him up. After they brushed him off and were sure that he was unhurt, they decided to finish the race together, holding hands. None of the judges could tell who won the blue ribbon; none of them could see through their tears. No one in the stands that day would ever forget this demonstration of compassion. As the race ended the crowd stood and cheered for ten minutes. These young men were competing in the Special Olympics, and they showed that they cared more for a fallen friend than for winning a race.

Children's Sermons

Whether it's youth soccer, gymnastics classes, field day at school, or just a game in the backyard, kids have experiences they can easily connect with the sports themes raised by the Olympics. A few starting points:

Have children demonstrate a short relay with a baton or Olympic torch, and talk about the wisdom we receive from our parents, grandparents, and other saints who have come before us.
"Practice makes perfect" is a good mantra not just for sports but for our Christian life. We only get better at sharing, caring, obeying, etc., by practicing those skills and making them habits.
Talk about some of the team sports the children may play or may be watching on T.V. during the Olympics and how everyone must work together to achieve the goal. Connect with the church family or the entire body of Christ working together for the kingdom of God.

Whatever you do, keep these 6 Tips for Children's Sermons by Sarah McGiverin in mind.

Just for Fun

Bring Olympic fun into your fellowship time with themed snacks, games, and crafts for the kids. Check out my Olympics 2012 board on Pinterest for links to recipes, children's activities, and more. Imagine a pot-luck lunch to which everyone brings their favorite British recipe (feel like you're there in London for the games!); a youth group game night with relay races, balance-beam walks, and "beach" volleyball; or a children's church lesson in which children craft flags for various countries while learning about God's love for all the different people of the world.

ARTICLE: Stewardship Options: Why Do I Give?

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 18:54:06 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Any stewardship campaign has to start with the question on everyone's mind, "Why should I give?" There are many ways to answer that question, and it will likely be different for each person, but in stewardship initiatives with a congregation, we must be able to articulate an answer or set of answers that fit the church's vision.

How do we imagine people filling in the blank?

"I give because ____________."

I suggest that for every gift, there are two categories of motivation that fill in that blank.

First, there is the outcome of the gift. "I give because I want to see the church expand its ministries with underprivileged children," or "I give because I want there to be room for new people in worship." Stewardship expert J. Clif Christopher emphasizes that when making specific appeals for money in the church (or any institution), it is crucial to demonstrate to the giver how their gift will be used toward a certain goal—an outcome of the donation that the giver cares about. The first category of fill-in-the-blank is practical, and depends on the individual church and what ministries it invests in.

But stewardship isn't just about the church having the funds to sustain and expand its ministries. It is also a key lesson in discipleship, instilling the value of giving as an ongoing and essential part of the Christian lifestyle. The second type of fill-in-the-blank is spiritual, and deals with the heart of the giver. The giver gives because of who he or she is. It is on this spiritual aspect of giving that most stewardship programs focus. Consider the following.

I give because . . .

I am a disciple.

This holistic perspective sees giving as "a lifelong journey in Christian discipleship," as Bob Crossman's Committed to Christ study says. Financial commitments are just one of the six commitments Crossman urges Christians to make, emphasizing that in all areas of discipleship (prayer, worship, witness, etc.) we can grow by taking one step at a time. This approach seems perfect for a congregation skittish about talking about money, putting that sometimes-scary topic in context of (and on equal footing with) other spiritual practices.

I am generous.

No one wants to be stingy, but generosity sometimes gets written off as something only millionaires and sweet grandmotherly figures can truly master. This values-centered approach highlights generosity as a key virtue of Christian faith that we can all practice. "Extravagant generosity" is one of the five traits Robert Schnase emphasizes in his bestseller, Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations, and expands on in the Extravagant Generosity program, going deep with all ages of the church to move toward "goal-oriented and mission-minded giving."

I have more than I need.

So many people say they want to simplify their lives—some out of distaste for our culture's penchant for busyness and excess, and others (especially since the economic downturn) out of necessity. Even if we're living with less than we used to, chances are that most of us still have more than we need. It is out of gratitude for such blessings and desire to live purposefully that many people give. Adam Hamilton's Enough study is a lifestyle approach that urges people to "discover joy through simplicity and generosity," viewing money and posessions as tools to do good.

I am able.

This approach, which could be called "total stewardship," emphasizes all each person has to offer. Prayers, presence, gifts, and service—they are all valuable offerings that can be shared generously. Transformed Giving, by John Ed Mathison, guides congregations through 40 days of spiritual development that leads to active involvement. This approach is less intimidating for people who lack financial resources, and can enhance a congregation's vitality by increasing not only financial giving but participation and service as well.

I am called.

As much effort as we put into growing generous, thankful, committed disciples, we must also acknowledge the working of the Spirit in discipleship, and help each Christian to hear God's specific calling on his or her own life and resources. The New Consecration Sunday program offers no participant materials or study guides, but rather guides the leadership team (and a "guest leader") in leading the people in spiritual discernment. This approach seems to favor the spiritually mature, but raising the bar can challenge casual believers to deepen in faith as they listen for God's call.

The differences in these approaches may seem subtle—all focusing on the giver's spiritual life and development rather than on what the resources given can accomplish—but with knowledge of your congregation and a vision for spiritual formation in your congregation, you can determine which approach would be most needed and most effective in your ministry context at this point in time. Considering these approaches may help leaders ask themselves not just "how can spiritual growth increase our financial stewardship?" but "how can our stewardship initiatives enhance our spiritual growth?"

Editor's note: This article is not intended as a complete review of these stewardship programs. For details on each program, view each product or download the comparison chart below.

BLOG: Two Essentials for More Effective Announcements

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 19:24:44 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

It’s great when an event announcement leaves people wanting more. But it’s not so great when the “more” they are wanting is basic information like when and where the event is being held! Even worse is when they don't even know where to go to learn more.

We’ve all seen it: “Join Us for Christmas Eve Worship,” or “New Member Class, August 15.”

Ok, what time? What can expect if I go? Will there be child care?

You can’t give a full description of every activity or event in every location—bulletin, website, newsletter, announcements in worship, and especially the marquis sign out front—but two easy tips can help avoid the frustration and confusion caused by poor announcements.

1. Have One Hub

If an occasional visitor to your church wanted more information about Sunday school classes, joining the choir, or an upcoming event, where would he or she go for that info? Increasingly, the obvious choice is the church website, but the bulletin, newsletter, or an information kiosk manned on Sunday mornings could be other viable options.

Whatever medium you choose, make it known that that is where to go for more information. Communications Director Kem Meyer emphasizes this among other tips in her interview on Ministry Matters.

"Reinforce everywhere (from the platform, the bulletin, mailings, etc.) the one place where people can find everything. . . When you talk about big, all-church steps like volunteering, joining a group, etc., that one place is where people can find the specific opportunities that appeal to them with all the details—dates, times, directions, registration, etc."

When you announce an upcoming event in worship or in the bulletin, keep it brief and direct people to that one hub for more information. Direct people there consistently (and make sure it is consistently up-to-date), and it will soon become the trusted location for all info about the church’s happenings.

2. Have One Way to Request an Announcement

Everyone knows it’s the church secretary that really keeps things running. If the youth pastor leaves a Post-It note on her desk, the VBS chair sends her an email, the mission trip planner calls her up, and the seniors group organizer drops by while she’s doing a million other things, something is bound to fall through the cracks. Not to mention, the Post-It note, phone call, etc. all contain different and incomplete information.

Terrell Sanders, President of Main Street Open communication services, shared this excellent event promotion worksheet (also downloadable below) that takes the guess-work out of crafting an event announcement for a newsletter or website. It asks not just the “five Ws” of journalism, but several of each (where to come, where to park, where to register, and so forth) plus extra “Wows” that could be added to really pump people up to participate.

A form like this gives whoever edits the newsletter or updates the website everything they need to craft an announcement on your behalf. If program leaders prefer to write their own announcements, including a checklist on the form can help ensure they have answered the main questions people may have about the event or activity.

Whether you’re the person planning the event (Arrggh! Why didn’t they put the time in the bulletin?), the person editing the newsletter (Hmmm. What do they want me to say about this event?), or the person in pews (Okaaaaay. Why should I come to this?) having a communications strategy in place can save a lot of frustration and help remove roadblocks and smooth the way for people to grow as disciples and as members of the church community.

BLOG: Startled by God (A Sermon Illustration)

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 16:36:40 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

My eight-month-old daughter startles very easily. She'll be creeping across the floor and if I call to her or walk into her line of sight, she jolts in panic before smiling and creeping in my direction. It's a little quirky—I don't remember her older sister doing that—and I always feel bad for startling her like that.

It's even more peculiar, I think, when she startles in her crib in the morning. She wakes up and starts crying for me to come feed her or otherwise rescue her from the confines of her crib. She's wailing and wailing, willing me to come to her aid, but when I enter her room, it's like she's shocked to see me.

"Waaa. Waaaa. Waa—AHH!" She jerks with surprise.

Isn't my presence what she wanted? Didn't she know I would show up to answer her cry?

It makes me think of prayer, of worship, or of our relationship with God in general. We pray fervently, begging God to rescue us in our distress, to show up and reassure us of his realness and his presence. And yet if God does show up in a big way, we're startled. It's like we're crying out, but not really expecting anything to happen.

As my eloquent colleague Shane said this morning while lamenting boring worship services, "if God showed up, most people would poop their pants!"

Maybe they should wear diapers like my daughter.

What if we raised our expectations? What if we prayed and worshiped with the full expectation that God would respond and be present with us? Maybe rather than startling at this unexpected thing, we would simply bask in the joy and appreciation of God's presence.

Hooray! God is here! Just like we knew he would be.

BLOG: Preaching on Sin

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 20:23:47 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

One Sunday in high school, my best friend took me to her Fundamental Baptist church. All I knew before going was that the denomination was more conservative than the SBC and that her family drove twenty miles out into a rural area to attend this particular church, passing countless other congregations on the way. All I remember about the experience was that the pastor preached fire and brimstone about our sinfulness, and I cried there in my seat.

That sure didn't happen at the Disciples of Christ church my family attended.

A few months ago, author-blogger Rachel Held Evans wrote about why she doesn't join a mainline church, even though her main problems with evangelical Christianity—that evangelicals are patriarchal, anti-science, and politically right-wing—are generally not problems for mainline churches. Her answer critiqued mainline churches for what amounted to their lack of passion and vigor when it came to expressing their convictions in the context of faith and scripture.

"While evangelical pastors may care too little about who they offend, mainline pastors may care too much, to the point that they are afraid to say anything of substance," Evans said.

She's mostly right, I think. You may see evidence of a lot of mercy and justice ministries at many mainline churches, but you're not as likely to hear an impassioned, convicting sermon about our specific communal sins that create injustice in our society. And you are even less likely to hear a penetrating sermon on personal sin.

So I was surprised when I attended my home church, Middletown Christian (Disciples of Christ), a few weeks ago and heard the current pastor, David Emery, preach about sin. What's more, I was very, very impressed by the way he preached about sin. It's a great example of how pastors who don't often speak about sin can do it firmly yet gracefully, and an example for anyone preaching on sin (no matter how often you do it) of how to do it in a way that connects with people in a real way.

Listening to Emery's sermon, I realized several things about preaching on sin, and how pastors can do it well. You can listen to the sermon audio above, but consider the following points, and how these tactics were embodied by this particular sermon.

Reassurance of Grace

While grace-filled theology isn't enough to bring Rachel Held Evans into the mainline fold, it is the absence of fire and brimstone that attracts many people to churches like Middletown. Emery began by acknowledging the bad experiences some have had in church and reassuring people (especially newcomers and visitors) that it is never, ever the strategy of this church to "scare the hell out of people." He was candid about how they rarely talk about sin—but also why that's a problem—saying, "sin is a good word because it helps us understand who we are, who God is, and why we need grace." The sermon was bookended with grace.

Feeling assured of grace frees people to wrestle with their sins, and giving such assurance frees pastors to talk seriously about sin.

Real Sin

Nine times of out of ten, when someone mentions sin, it's something to the effect of "everyone is a sinner." True. Humans are born selfish and just get more creative with our selfishness as we get older. But when we make blanket statements like that, it's a wet blanket on the whole issue. It doesn't get at the heart of anyone's real experience with sin. It glosses over our actual moral struggles and failures, offering an easy out to those who don't want to wrestle with their own issues and making the more pious among us wail on about their inherent wretchedness and unworthiness, but still without serious engagement. When preachers take this one-size-fits-all angle to sin, they may prompt some toward real conviction and repentance, but more often just make everyone feel like crap. Pardon my French.

By taking seriously the diversity of our sin, you connect with people where they are. By diversity, I mean that while all sins may be equal before God, sin affects and destroys lives at widely varying degrees.

There are those whose sin has been immensely destructive to many around them.

"There are some circumstances in life when the only words that work to describe it is the language of woe," Emery said, underscoring the need to recover words like woe and wretchedness, as used in the day's scripture, Isaiah 6:1-8, the prophet's "woe is me" experience in the presence of God.

By way of a sermon illustration, Emery described a young father of two little girls being truly convicted of his sin. The man had been a college football player, used to being revered by classmates and having his way with girls. Now as a dad of daughters himself, he realized the weight of his sin and was deeply grieved by the way he had treated countless young women, sobbing his confessions on the day of his baptism. It was a true "woe is me" moment, and Emery assured those who identified with such remorse, those who have left a trail of wreckage in the wake of their sin, that "that place of woe is where God can work. You can be born again through Jesus Christ because God is the God of second chances."

But most of us probably have not experienced such woe.

Emery made a deft turn to address the majority’s (perhaps less obvious) sinfulness in an honest and realistic way, without attempting to impose an exaggerated feeling of wretchedness: "For the rest of you, I have bad news: You are not as good as you think you are."

From that point, a preacher could go in several directions. You could address “silent killer” sins like pride and envy, that others may not notice, but that poison our hearts and our ability to love others. You could relate Jesus’ admonitions about anger and lust from Matthew 5 to address how sins of the heart give way to sinful actions. Or, as Emery did, you could address the “comparison game” we play, feeling righteous when we compare ourselves to people with more public, obvious sins, like John Edwards, Tiger Woods, or maybe the aforementioned football-playing player. Further, if we compare ourselves only to God, as we should, our sin will become obvious to us, as it was to righteous-by-human-standards Isaiah.

The Value of Woe

By speaking candidly about sin and our typical avoidance of the topic, Emery clarified that the woe we feel when we recognize our sin is not something to fear. Rather, recognition of sin shows us the true value of grace and prepares us for service.

"We need to be made uncomfortable so that God can use us," he said, comparing the discipline and discomfort a West Point student experiences, as they are being shaped into a certain kind of person. Through recognition of our sin and repentance from it, God shapes us into servants and prophets for Christ.

Preaching about sin gets a bad rap because of how depressing and manipulative it can be. Poorly done, sin sermons take people to the edge of despair so they will accept Jesus as "fire insurance" during a moment of heightened emotion. Rather than creating that feeling of woe right there in the pew, helping people face their sin honestly and personally opens the door for deeper reflection, true repentance, and ongoing refinement.

ARTICLE: Heroic Rite of Passage for Boys

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 20:20:48 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Discussions of “Christian manhood” these days bring to mind controversial comments from church leaders, like Mark Driscoll’s descriptions of Jesus as an Ultimate Fighting Champion and John Piper’s assertions that Christianity has an “inherently masculine feel.”

Perspectives like these are just the newest wave of a century-long backlash against what many have been calling a “feminized Christianity.”

Pastor Tim Wright, of Community of Grace Lutheran Church in Peoria, Ariz., also recognized the problem with church practices that appeal more to women, but his solution is less inflammatory and arguably more proactive, with its roots in the gospels and cognitive research.

“Manhood has to be shaped by Jesus,” Wright says. “He had the classic traits of manhood, fighting with the Pharisees, clearing out the moneychangers, and also a passion for justice, equality, and compassion that leads to action. You also see him weeping at the tomb of his friend; you see a man of deep emotion.

“We need to reconnect men to Jesus. Some people seem to be [emphasizing] manhood for its own sake, rather than connecting men to Jesus.”

Wright hopes to start this reconnection young, with boys on the cusp of manhood. The rite of passage experience he developed, “Following Jesus: A Heroic Quest for Boys,” aims to help middle school boys form “a vision of what kind of man they want to be . . . what it means to be men who follow Jesus.”

Spirituality, Boy-Style

The vision for Heroic Quest began when Wright read David Murrow’s 2005 book Why Men Hate Going to Church. Murrow explains how churches are often better-suited to women’s learning styles. Wright saw evidence of Murrow’s points in his own church—how verbal most worship services were, with emotional “love songs to Jesus,” and Sunday school classes that require a lot of reading and sitting still.

School-aged boys, especially, tend to have difficulty sitting still for long periods and (since they often lag behind girls in verbal skills) are uncomfortable reading aloud or answering questions on the fly.

Community of Grace decided to separate the boys and girls for Sunday school, and put the children in class with adults of the same gender. At first, the church, which was still small at the time, had only one boy in Sunday school, alongside five or six girls, but after separating genders, boys started to outnumber girls. Having separate-sex classrooms also required that men step up to lead the boys’ Sunday school, when women had more often led all classes in the past. The boys’ classes are more high activity, and more about “relational bonding,” not so curriculum-centered as the girls’ classes.

As part of his deepening curiosity on the issue, Wright read gender psychologist Michael Gurian’s books about gender and learning differences. Gurian, who is Jewish, had focused mainly on schools, but easily applied his research to the church when Wright brought him in as a consultant at Community of Grace.

Gurian’s insights are based on science, not stereotypes, Wright says, exploring “how God made men’s and women’s brains, and asking ‘how do we pull the best out of that?’”

It’s a view that values males and females as equal, but celebrates their differences too.

“Just because something is stereotypical doesn’t mean it’s not true,” Wright says.

And the truth about boys today, in Wright’s view, is that males are experiencing an extended adolescence without integrity or responsibility. As it says on the Heroic Quest website:

“Our boys are growing up without the tools they need to be productive, healthy men. . . The result—a generation of man-boys: boys in men’s bodies, with little drive, ambition, or vision for their lives. . . . These boys are counting on us to change the current storyline in their lives and replace it with one that empowers, equips, and ennobles them for honorable, good, productive manhood.”

Together, Gurian and Wright recognized the need for a boys’ rite of passage in the Protestant tradition and began to create the Heroic Quest program.

Like bar mitzvahs and other adolescent rites of passage from various cultures, Heroic Quest requires preparation, challenges, and public presentation of what has been learned, with the goal of initiating the boys into a new stage of life as Christian men of character and integrity.

Heroic Action for Boys and Men

Keeping in mind both the science of boys’ brains and the end goal of maturity and character-building, Gurian and Wright designed Heroic Quest as a fourteen-session adventure with both large and small group sessions, a retreat, and a service project. Big group sessions are highly interactive, with activity, movement, and competition interspersed between five- or six-minute teaching sessions, so that the boys don't sit more than five or six minutes at a time.

Over the course of the program, which can be done weekly for a three-month intensive or more leisurely over a whole school year, the boys read the complete Gospel of Mark, answering questions about it and writing their own "Heroic Action Plan" for how they will apply certain character traits.

Each boy does a “Jesus Project” on a chosen story from Mark. They read the story publicly and do a creative presentation of the story at a special ceremony for their family and friends. Some boys have presented their stories in the form of a comic book, game, or video. At the completion of the Heroic Quest experience, the boys are recognized in a ceremony before the entire congregation, alongside their fathers and mentors who go through the program with them.

The involvement of dads and mentors is an essential part of the experience for the boys, but also serves as a discipleship tool for the men.

“A lot of the men aren’t sure what they believe—aren’t able to talk about it,” Wright says. Heroic Quest provides resources for men to disciple their sons.

Dads get a journal with a prompt for each week, helping them to write their story and the story of their son up to that point. They also get each week’s questions in advance, so they can write down their response and be more prepared to discuss the gospel passage and other life issues with their sons. Tips and tools for the fathers and mentors show them how to phrase questions in a way that draws boys out.

“We’re training boys, training dads, and training dads to lead boys,” Wright says.

Community of Manhood

Heroic Quest—and soon, “Journey of Wisdom,” a similar experience for girls that Wright and Gurian are developing with co-author Kathy Stevens—can be used in conjunction with churches’ traditional confirmation programs. The experiences could be used in place of confirmation, but Wright is clear that they do not serve the same purpose.

“Confirmation is more about making people good church members, not good men or women,” Wright says. “Confirmation roots participants in the community of faith; rites of passage root participants in the community of manhood or womanhood.”

While Heroic Quest is steeped in scripture and the example of Jesus, it is focused on personal and relational issues, not on questions of theology, church history, or tradition. Confirmation doesn’t deal with a lot of the real-life issues middle schoolers face, a sin of omission that can make the church seem boring and irrelevant, Wright says.

“If confirmation isn’t done right, it becomes boys’ ‘graduation’ from church."

Heroic Quest and the forthcoming girls’ rite of passage are not simply life skills or health class in religious clothing, however. To Wright, these gender-based experiences are part of the church’s mission to develop men and women who follow Jesus.

“The church provides the best place to discover what it means to be a man or woman,” Wright says. “It’s there you have the example of Jesus and all the men and women of the community, all the men and women of the Bible.”

Learn more about Heroic Quest and its program materials at www.heroicquestforboys.com.

ARTICLE: Stewards of God's Children

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 14:59:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

A Sermon on Genesis 22:1-18 and Matthew 25:14-27

Our younger daughter Claire’s middle name is “Moriah.” Not Mariah (with an A) like Mariah Carey, but Moriah (with an O), like “the land of Moriah” in the text we just read from Genesis. Moriah is a mountain and corresponding valley in Israel, which according to Scripture was the site of Abraham’s near-sacrifice of his son Isaac.

It’s a disturbing story to our modern sensibilities. After making Abraham wait and wait and wait to see the fruit of God’s promise that he would be the father of many children and indeed a whole nation—Abraham’s wife Sarah finally has a son, Isaac. They are overjoyed, as any parents would be, even more so because Sarah was 90 (just a little bit over the hill). Isaac was born and was expected to be the key to Abraham’s fatherhood of a great nation... and then comes this strange story we read in Genesis.

“Take your son, your only son whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah. Offer him up as an entirely burned offering there on one of the mountains that I will show you.”

You can imagine Abraham’s reaction. What? Kill my child and set him on fire as an offering to God?

Abraham didn’t have the privilege of the rest of the Hebrew Bible, like we do. I guess he didn’t know that sacrificing kids on an altar would be a big, bad thing down the road, a practice distinguishing the heathen Canaanites from the Israelites. God’s people don’t sacrifice their children on altars!!

And yet Abraham agrees to do it, going so far as to tie Isaac up and rear back the knife to stab him. God steps in a the last minute and tells Abraham to kill a ram instead.

With such a disturbing story, you may be wondering why my husband and I would name our daughter after it.

It is a scary story. No one wants to think about the possible death of a child. But to me, the story is really about the fact that all things belong to God. We are tempted to hold on tightly to things we love. We know this is wrong when it comes to physical possessions—houses, cars, a special piece of sports memorabilia, a really nice pair of shoes... But we also have to be careful about holding on too tightly to the people we love, including our children.

It’s hard not to claim “ownership” of our children. When they’re small, the fact that you and your partner “created” them is astounding and overwhelming. The fact that these little creations end up having ideas, opinions, behaviors (and misbehaviors) of their own is shocking at first. For some parents, I imagine it is even hard to accept when adult children go their own way.

The fact is, our children are not really our own. They belong to God. And the term we use for someone who manages, oversees, and has responsibility for things belonging to someone else is a steward. We call financial giving “stewardship” as an acknowledgement that our money is actually God’s, and that we are just giving it back to him. It’s the same with our kids. We are stewards of these lives that are entrusted to our care.

What does that mean, exactly? We can’t give one-tenth of our kids to the church, like we do our income. Maybe if you’re that family from “Nineteen Kids and Counting,” you could send two of your kids to live in the church basement, but I’ll keep my two kids in one piece, thanks.

Being stewards of our children means acknowledging that they don’t belong to us. It means raising them to know whose they really are, and helping them understand their true identity as a child of God. It means holding them loosely enough for them to follow God for themselves.

My baby Claire is already seven months old. They grow so fast. She’s sitting up now, eating solid food, and scooting herself across the floor at a pretty good pace. Pretty soon, she’ll start getting teeth in, and I’m going to be really sad. There’s a little part of me—you can probably relate—that wishes kids would stay small forever.

I could easily feel that way about Claire. She’d stay all baby-cute and cuddly. She’d stay dependent on me. She wouldn’t get obstinate or rebellious or defiant. (We’re getting a taste of that with our three-year-old. It’s definitely tempting to want to hang on to that little baby sweetness.)

But then I remember that my job as a parent is not to keep my kids cuddly, dependent, or compliant. My job is not to keep them small. (Sheltered for a time, maybe, and my girls' daddy would probably want that time to be even longer than I do!) But not small. We can’t stop them from growing up, and growing up is what they are supposed to do.

Our job is to help them grow up well.

We read a section of Matthew’s gospel commonly known as “the parable of the talents.” In it, a wealthy man goes on a trip, leaving three servants as stewards of his property. He gives them each a certain amount of money. The first two invest the money so the master has even more money when he comes back.

The third servant, however, buries the money in the ground. He’s afraid of losing it, or having it stolen, or maybe of making a bad deal if he even tries to invest it. He’s afraid of the master’s reaction if he were to lose the money, so he hides it.

He holds it.

He protects it.

And in doing so, it doesn’t grow.

The servant tells his master, “Look! I kept your treasure safe! I kept it just the same as when you gave it to me.”

Our children are like those treasures, entrusted to us by God not for the purpose of putting in a bubble or freezing them in time, but to grow. As good stewards of our children, we invest in them. I might be tempted to keep Claire swaddled up or butter the floor so she never learns to walk, but I wouldn’t be doing my job.

Instead, we teach them to walk. We teach them to say “please” and “thank you.” We teach them to give thanks to God and to show compassion for others. We teach them to solve problems and think creatively so they can make an impact on the world. We teach them to find their passion and pursue it for the glory of God.

I’ve been pregnant twice (we have two kids) and I’ll admit it, I LOVE being pregnant. I know some women dread the weight gain, the swelling, the fatigue, the morning sickness, the back pain, and so on. I had more than my share of throwing up, I’ll tell you. But I still LOVE being pregnant. So much, in fact, that after having Claire, I tossed around the idea of being a surrogate.

One of the things that gave me pause about that idea, though, was the concern: what if I didn’t like the way these other people raised the child I helped them have? I would be complicit in creating, forming an emotional attachment to, and feeling some element of ownership over a child, only to hand him over with no guarantees that he would be treated well or taught the same values I would teach my own children. How could I trust that they would do it “right”? (That is, my way.)

As I self-righteously wondered these things, it struck me that God hands his children over to us every day, with no guarantee we’ll do it right. In fact, it’s a pretty safe bet we’ll do a lot of things wrong. And yet God still trusts us with this monumental task.

It’s interesting in the parable we read, that the reason the third servant hid the money and didn’t invest it, is that he feared the master. He said, "Master, I knew that you are a hard man. You harvest grain where you haven’t sown. You gather crops where you haven’t spread seed. So I was afraid. And I hid my valuable coin in the ground.”

It’s hard to be a good steward when you’re acting out of fear. When we’re talking about stewardship of our money, we don’t give out of fear, but out of love for God and gratitude for all we have. So when we parent, let’s parent out of love, out of gratitude for this amazing gift and responsibility. Let’s parent with the understanding that every thing we do with and for our kids—from changing their diapers to changing the oil in their first car—is part of a sacred task that is honoring to God.

Today is Father’s Day, so it’s a fitting day for dads to reflect on and celebrate their important role. Moms had their day last month, of course, but let’s not forget that we all have a responsibility to be good stewards of the children in our midst.

During college and my early twenties, I visited a lot of different churches, trying to find a good home. I worshiped in Baptist, Methodist, nondenominational, Episcopal, and Disciples of Christ churches in four different states. And in all that church-hopping, I witnessed A LOT of baptisms and baby dedications. I just had a knack for being there when these things happened, even at churches I visited only once.

In many of these churches, the congregation vowed to help nurture the person in the Christian faith. Being a visitor, I generally didn’t know the people being baptized, but I repeated this vow as well. At first, it was just because that’s what you were supposed to do. But after a while, I started to see these vows as part of a greater commitment to nurture all children—all people—in their journey of faith. Because wherever I go, there is some small chance that any person I meet could be one of those children I vowed to support in the Christian faith.

There was a book I remember reading as a kid—I can’t remember the title, but you may know the story. A king and queen had a baby, and all their subjects were thrilled that the royal child had been born. But instead of raising the baby themselves, the king and queen arranged for their child to be raised by a family in the town. The townspeople didn’t know which child might be the prince or princess, so they started treating all the children with love and kindness, just in case the child they were talking to was the king’s child.

Fortunately, we don’t have to hedge our bets. We know who the king's child is. Every child in this church and this community—every person you meet—is a child of God, the King of the Universe. So love them, treat them with respect, nurture their faith, and work for a world that looks more like our true home—the kingdom of God.

When the master, the king, checks in to see how well we’ve cared for and invested in the world and the people we’ve been given, what will he see? A steward who fearfully hid his treasure in the ground? Or stewards who did all they could to grow these treasures in a way that brings honor to the one who truly owns it all?

BLOG: Cutting Scripture Short

Thu, 31 May 2012 16:29:30 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

I've only preached twice in my life. Actually, only once, since the second sermon I prepared ended up being delivered by my husband, the pastor, while I stayed home with our two-year-old, who unexpectedly got sick that Sunday morning.

Sermon #3 is coming up this Father's Day, and I'm facing an interesting dilemma that I'm sure more seasoned preachers deal with frequently.

When the scripture passage on which you are preaching includes something attention-grabbing that is tangential to your sermon's focus, do you leave it out of the reading?

I don't know about you, but if I read in the bulletin that today's scripture is Ephesians 7:1-5, 11-15, you can bet I'll actually open up that pew Bible and check out verses 6-10. There's probably some crazy stuff in those verses! But if the sermon is focused on the specific points in verses 12 and 13, the pastor may not want the crazy stuff in verses 6-10 read aloud because then that's all the people will be thinking about, distracting them from the actual point of the sermon. (Yes, I know there's no Ephesians 7—I just didn't want to distract you from the actual point of this blog post :)

Do you consider it dishonest in a way, or disrespectful of the scripture, to leave something out? Or is it just good sense to avoid distracting your listeners to the point they will not hear your message?

To give an actual example, in this Father's Day sermon I am preparing, my New Testament text is the Parable of the Talents, Matthew 25:14-30. My point pertains to investing in our children rather than hiding that treasure in the ground (metaphorically speaking, of course). But after the master's admonition, "you should have turned my money over to the bankers so that when I returned, you could give me what belonged to me with interest," the passage closes with this:

²⁸Therefore, take from him the valuable coin and give it to the one who has ten coins. ²⁹Those who have much will receive more, and they will have more than they need. But as for those who don’t have much, even the little bit they have will be taken away from them. ³⁰Now take the worthless servant and throw him outside into the darkness.’

These concluding verses are frightening and confusing in light of Jesus' introduction that "the kingdom of God is like" this. They surely have some value and purpose in the parable, but I am not prepared to speak to that, nor would it be beneficial in applying the parable to parenting as I am, unless I am willing to preach that those who do not invest in their children will lose them to parents who do. (That is possibly true, if the Department of Children's Services is involved, but I don't believe that would be an edifying point to make in a Father's Day sermon.) So I doubt I will touch on those verses in the sermon.

But if those last three verses are included in the scripture reading that precedes the sermon and I don't mention it, people may spend the sermon awaiting clarification on such a disturbing passage.

What would you do?

Cut the passage short so listeners without an open Bible won't be the wiser? Include it and hope a fly or ringing cell phone distracts them from the potentially-distracting verses? Include it and threaten that DCS will take their children away? Or stick to the lectionary in its entirity and avoid the whole issue?

BLOG: Ending Guaranteed Appointment

Wed, 02 May 2012 21:02:41 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

The elimination of guaranteed appointment for United Methodist clergy came as a surprise to many Tuesday morning when the proposal as approved on a consent calendar. (Items are included in consent calendars when they pass committee with fewer than ten dissenting votes.)

Guaranteed appointment, a term that many point out does not officially exist in United Methodist legislation, refers to a tenure-type agreement that promises full time pastoral employment to ordained elders. The practice was instituted in 1956 as a way to protect female and minority clergy, who some churches might have been reluctant to accept as pastor. Many debate whether enough progress has been made to drop these protections.

Fans of the decision to end guaranteed appointment say it helps conferences get rid of ineffective pastors. An amendment to the proposal in committee added a provision for an eight-member team independent of the cabinet and bishop that would help guide the process when an elder’s effectiveness in a full-time appointment is being questioned.

When delegates realized what had happened, a motion to reconsider was brought up but failed. Read the full UMNS story.

Twitter erupted with many concerns and questions from pastors:

What will be the criteria for “effective ministry”?
Would bishops or district superintendents wield this power to end pastors’ careers if they disagree politically or theologically?
Will this limit pastors’ ability to speak prophetically in the pulpit?
What if a church tries to get rid of me?
Will pastors feel able to say “no” to bad appointments?
Will pastors be reluctant to take on a challenging congregation out of fear it could end his or her career if it goes poorly?
Will conferences become more polarized as liberal pastors feel “safer” with a liberal cabinet and conservatives with a conservative cabinet?

By the end of the day, however, many clergy bloggers seemed to feel comfortable with the decision.

From Andy Bryan:

Look, it’s all going to be fine. It will require pastors to effectively describe the fruitfulness within their particular context, and continue to maintain a healthy relationship with their DS. That’s all. No need to panic, everybody.

From Amy Lippolt:

My hope is that this removal of security will help elders realize they are not permanently entitled to a job and a good pension just because they were ordained. I also hope it will help cabinets have the hard conversations they need to with our brothers and sisters who are no longer leading effectively in the church.

From RevMomma:

I believe it is and will be possible to ensure justice with regard to race, gender, etc and still have missional effectiveness. Losing this does not lose our integrity with regard to appointment making, rather, to me, it increases our integrity and ability to do effective ministry.

As many point out, pastors are not really facing more risk than they were before. Bishops and cabinets had avenues to transition an ineffective pastor out of ministry, and they could always find a way to “punish” a pastor they disliked. My personal hope is that this change affects the process in such a way to make appointment less of a contractual obligation “to go where sent,” and more of a collaborative, consultative process where bishops, pastors, and congregations have more equal voices as we determine compatible leadership that will lead to more vital congregations.

BLOG: Restructuring Rundown

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:32:15 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

We coined a new term here in the Ministry Matters offices this morning: MethoNerd.

Definition: those folks on the edge of their seats following every event at the United Methodist Church’s quadrennial General Conference, going on now in Tampa, Fla.

With some of those people in our midst, we certainly said it with love as we discussed with varying levels of interest and frustration the events of Saturday evening at General Conference, which some are even calling the “General Administration Debacle.”

I became aware of the breaking news myself Saturday night when my husband, a United Methodist pastor, noticed the #gc2012 Twitter feed exploding around 8:30 central time. As many have noted, Twitter is definitely the fastest way to follow the events in Tampa, followed (it seems to me) by GC2012 Conversations. But from all the news and blogs I've seen, here's the rundown for anyone needing the highlights.

So what exactly happened Saturday night?

In layman’s terms (Well, not exactly—the average layperson in the UMC has no idea what “CTA/IOT” means, and probably doesn’t care, but at least in terms that a merely moderate MethoNerd can understand) the General Administration Committee was mandated to adjourn at 9:30 p.m. without having made a recommendation on the church’s proposed restructuring plans. None of the three major proposals received enough votes to make it to the main floor. (Read a summary of the various proposals from Jeremy Smith. Updated: see also his April 30 comparison and analysis on restructuring.)

This doesn’t mean that all restructuring legislation is dead in the water, however. According to UMNS blogger Heather Hahn’s breaking news report,

“proponents of both the Call to Action [IOT proposal] and Methodist Federation for Social Action can bring their original legislation printed in the Advance Daily Christian Advocate to the floor to be amended and debated upon obtaining 20 signatures (according to the rules adopted earlier in the week). Plan B proponents can also bring their legislation forward as a substitute motion.”

Frustration, Outrage, and a Rogue iPhone

There was intense frustration over the mandated stopping time and what that meant for many good proposals that the committee simply didn’t have time for. Rebekah Miles wrote about an unfortunate pattern she noticed:

“Major petitions sponsored by boards and agencies appear to have had a better chance of being considered that those by individuals, churches and annual conferences. It seemed to me, also, that petitions related to local pastors were disproportionally represented on the 'not-considered' list.”

Stronger, however, was the frustration—even outrage—about the manner in which the committee session was conducted and the behavior of delegates clamoring for votes. Notable among those tweeting from the event was Andy Oliver, known as @gatordukie, who broadcasted a rogue video of the committee meeting through his iPhone. As Oliver reflected on his blog,

“Without the live stream in the room, people on the outside would have had to rely on the 140 character tweets of others and the news reports to come later. They would have missed the utter chaos, the impatient tone of the moderator, and the visuals of people telling others to vote or not to vote in the closing chaotic seconds. The response from twitter was shock. Last night those around the world witnessed the UMC at her worst.”

[Note: Oliver did not archive the videos, so they are no longer available for viewing online.]

How Did This Happen?

SMU professor Maria Dixon Hall gave her take on Saturday night’s events, beginning by saying “It ain’t Adam [Hamilton]’s fault,” and ending with concern over how Central Conference delegates were used as pawns. Between those two good points was a good rundown of where each of the main proposals failed.

"The IOT, which I thought had some very good points, simply didn’t do the hard work of communicating the plan in a way that didn’t frame it as a forgone conclusion but as a starting point for the discussion on reorganization. . . The IOT didn’t leave the audience with a sense of ‘shared’ creation and ‘shared’ future—it reeked at times of what I believe what an unintended (God, I hope it was unintended) exclusion of voices.

". . . What the authors of Plan B did was understand the feeling of exclusion that IOT left their audience with and exploited it. Exploited it they did. They promised everything to everybody especially the Central Conference delegates and Agencies. In the end, it was a beautiful tactic but nonetheless it was a tactic, which backfired when it got to the small committee assigned to ‘tweak’ it.

"God love the MFSA. They never expected to be at the table to shape this legislation, so when they found themselves able to ‘tweak’ Plan B, they were overwhelmed and ill-prepared."

Hope for Holy Conferencing

I have to admit, when my husband prayed for those in Tampa during worship yesterday morning, praying for them the oft-used term "holy conferencing," my cynicism flared up. Even on the best of days at General Conference, one expects heated debates and protest demonstrations from various groups, but from all accounts, Saturday night seemed to have been a much bigger blowup than anyone expected.

With the conversation essentially being deferred to the main floor, will we see a repeat of Saturday night in a larger venue on Wednesday, when the proposals are expected to be brought for general session consideration?

Is there hope for holy conferencing?

Stephen Drachler, a lay delegate from the Susquehanna Conference, writes that he believes so.

The chaotic ending of the work of the 2012 General Conference’s General Administration Committee puts to shame the worst machinations we all decry in the today’s secular politics. This was Holy Conferencing at its absolute worst.

The committee’s failure to reach any kind of agreement on a better structure for our denomination reflects how much we have come to allow manipulation, back-room dealing, whisper campaigning and a lust for control and power take over our legislative processes. . . . Yet, out of the chaos, I believe there is a solution out there. It’s contained in pieces of the IOT (Interim Operations Team), MFSA (Methodist Federation for Social Action), and Plan B Coalition proposals.

Out of Saturday night’s chaos, God remains present, offering another opportunity to discern God’s will for each of us individually, and for the denomination we all profess to love.

What are your thoughts about Saturday night's committee meeting and the proposals for church restructuring?

ARTICLE: Partnerships Turn Churches Around

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 17:49:08 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

There are a lot of ways to plant and grow new churches.

Some say the multi-site model will become the standard for church growth, with numerous congregations sharing the vision and administration of one church, rather than expanding facilities and services in one location. Many new church plants are the result of a larger “parent” church providing the funds and people to get a new “daughter” church off the ground. Sometimes a denomination or larger church in the area sends a new leader to a dying congregation to cast a new vision and “restart” the congregation like a restaurant coming under new management.

The recently-launched Turning Point Church in Lexington, Ky., charted a unique course among these options, unexpected even to the church planter himself.

Planter Meets Planted

Josh Mauney, 29, moved to Lexington with his pregnant wife and toddler son in August, 2011, with a vision to launch a new church in a burgeoning-but-underchurched area north of the city.

Knowing that pastors can be “territorial” when it comes to a new church in their neighborhood, Mauney, who served as campus pastor of Crossroads Community Church in Freeport, Ill., for three years, sent an email to the other pastors in the area. He wanted them to know that he had no intention of stealing members from other churches, but rather aimed to reach the 83 percent of families in the area without a current church home.

Only two pastors responded, one of whom was Alex Kinchen, 40, pastor of Master’s Church, planted just seven years before by an older, more traditional church across town. Master’s Church had just under 100 people in worship and was, according to Mauney, “a “strange mix between traditional and what it might mean to be contemporary.”

Master's Church lacked a strong sense of identity, symptomatic of a desire to change without a clear methodology for doing so, said Kinchen. The church that planted Master’s Church received funding from the Kentucky Baptist Convention’s “High Impact” church planting initiative, but launched the new church in a “ready, fire, aim” sort of way, Kinchen said.

“It was a case study in how not to plant a church,” said Kinchen, who had been a Southern Baptist pastor in North Carolina before moving to Lexington in 2004 so that his wife could attend dental school at University of Kentucky.

The original pastor of Master’s Church left just two months after the launch, and Kinchen, attending and assisting at the church while awaiting another call, stepped into the role. It was a rocky start for the church, and out of 150 original members, around one-third drifted away. Nonetheless, there was a small contingent that was committed to changing their neighborhood and finding a way to turn Master's Church around.

Meanwhile, Mauney was following his calling to plant a new, vibrant church in Kentucky. “While God was shaping our vision for Turning Point, he was pruning and shaping [Master’s Church] for something like this,” said Mauney.

Upon meeting, Mauney and Kinchen hit it off immediately, and within a week Kinchen suggested planting Turning Point together. Instead of Mauney starting Turning Point from scratch and Master’s Church closing six months later (as it was on the trajectory to do, especially if a dynamic new church popped up), Kinchen’s congregation would become the launch team a church planter typically spends months gathering, and they could put financial resources toward renovating Master’s Church’s building, rather than buying trailers and other equipment to do set up and tear down in a school cafeteria every week.

Turning in a New Direction

Things moved quickly, but the two pastors were intentional about getting buy-in from key members of Master’s Church. They presented the idea to the church’s Spiritual Advisory Council and other respected laypeople. Mauney spoke as a guest preacher one week, and Kinchen followed up, both emphasizing the mission of serving the kingdom as opposed to serving an individual congregation.

This message was central to the shift in focus people would need to make in order to reach out to unchurched people. “Any church that wants to turn the corner must filter everything through the lens of people we haven’t met yet,” says Mauney, who was trained through the Association of Related Churches (ARC), a non-denominational church planting support network.

There was a small amount of resistance, mainly in the form of “petty hallway conversations,” Kinchen said. Mauney told Kinchen, “be prepared for 50 percent of these people that you know and love to walk out the door.”

As it turned out, 90 percent stayed on, agreeing to do the work necessary to launch the new church.

Midweek launch team meetings (including worship and preaching) replaced weekend services for several months as preparations progressed and the building was renovated. Some congregations might balk at such a plan, but these people understood what Mauney called “kingdom math.” It might feel like a loss to close Master’s Church, but it was dying so that it could give birth to something new, Mauney said.

Turning Point Church had its first Sunday worship on Feb. 12 with 285 people in attendance. With over 500 unique visitors in their first three weeks, it shouldn’t be hard to reach their goal of having that many people in attendance on Easter Sunday, when they will launch a second service. Mauney says they hope to double the number of people serving—currently 75—by Easter as well.

A True Partnership

People often ask Mauney and Kinchen who is “really in charge,” but the two say they truly are co-pastors with very different gifts.

Kinchen’s passion is for discipleship and counseling; he manages the church’s small groups. Mauney’s strength is leadership development and vision casting; he is already exploring locations for new campuses of Turning Point. (The “cn” in the church’s web address, www.turningpointcn.com, stands for “church network,” as going multi-site was planned from the beginning.)

They plan the preaching schedule together, and share those duties. Kinchen said it could be easy for either of them to worry that the other is more visible, since Mauney preached the first series of the new church and Kinchen will be preaching on Easter, but the two are committed to a team-based ministry.

It is a biblical model, Mauney points out, to send two disciples out together, providing accountability for one another.

“God made it clear that us together is better than us separate,” said Kinchen.

Successful co-pastorates are rare enough, but Kinchen’s openness to sharing leadership and participating in what amounts to a death and rebirth of the church he led is truly remarkable.

Mauney agrees. “Alex’s humility made it possible. . . . This would happen more often if there were more guys with his kind of character.”

Kinchen says that while, of course, he strives for humility, this kind of partnership “challenges” his upbringing in Southern Baptist churches where, he says, “we were taught to see the pastor as CEO.”

It Can Happen Elsewhere

Partnerships like this don’t always require the serendipity Mauney and Kinchen experienced. With humility and intentionality, churches can work together in many contexts to create more vital congregations.

In Louisville, Ky., Middletown Christian Church took the fast-declining Valley Christian Church under its wing as a second campus, investing human and financial resources to revitalize Valley and launch distinct ministries tailored to meeting needs in its area of town.

Similarly, Ginghamsburg Church in Tipp City, Ohio, has restarted several dying congregations in its area. One, Medway United Methodist Church, is independent and now self-sustaining. Another, Fort McKinley, is a campus of Ginghamsburg serving an economically and racially diverse population that the church’s main campus struggled to reach.

“You intentionally choose to ‘reboot’ dying churches within neighborhoods where core, debilitating needs are clearly not being met by other churches,” Ginghamsburg pastor Mike Slaughter explains in his book Change the World, “because they lack the missional commitment or the necessary resources.” (Chapter five of Change the World offers details on their process and vision for church restarts.)

Adam Hamilton, pastor of the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection, in Leawood, Kan., advocates voluntary mentoring partnerships between smaller and larger congregations as a way to strengthen the smaller congregations without an overall merger.

Hamilton says such strategic partnerships are key to increasing the number of vital congregations in the United Methodist Church, a major goal of the denomination’s General Conference, starting next month. (This is one of Hamilton's recommended Four Steps Toward Vitality.)

“In Indiana, a church of 220 per weekend in worship has voluntarily partnered with two churches with an average attendance of 14 each, supplying the pulpit with lay and clergy and sharing resources. All three churches are stronger today,” Hamilton says. “At Resurrection, we are piloting a program in which we’re partnering with three smaller churches across the United States, offering coaching, tools, and Resurrection’s sermons via video to see if these resources can help revitalize these congregations.”

“This kind of connectionalism would see our large number of smaller churches not as a liability but a tremendous opportunity,” said Hamilton.

Whether churches merge or mentor, leaders and laypeople must be “honest with themselves,” Mauney says. They must acknowledge what is not working and what they can learn from others, and realize that they are better off together than apart.

Four thousand churches will close their doors this year, Mauney says, but churches could turn this statistic around with a humble willingness to work together for the greater good.

“You’ve got to be willing to say, ‘I love God’s church more than I like being right.'”

BLOG: Learning from Kodak

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 20:11:18 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Kodak—long the most esteemed name in the camera business—declared bankruptcy last month. Many business analysts have been discussing the reasons for the esteemed company’s decline and ultimate demise, but the short version is that Kodak did not adapt appropriately to changes in the market, technology, or culture.

With the rate of change accelerating as it is, Kodak's story offers significant lessons that leaders of every organization should be taking to heart not just to avoid eventual irrelevance and closure, but to thrive today and adapt better for tomorrow. The church is no exception. One of my favorite bloggers, literary agent Rachelle Gardner (rachellegardner.com) wrote a series of posts last week about what the publishing industry can learn from Kodak’s story, and with Rachelle’s permission, I’m tweaking some of her insights for benefit of all of us in ministry. First,

Know Your “Business”

I use that term loosely since many in the church resent being compared to commercial entities, but the point is that we must know our core identity and purpose.

Kodak thought it was in the film business. Publishers and authors tend to think they’re in the book business. So, as the world transitions away from film-based photography and printed, bound books, companies better consider how their core identity and purpose will be lived out in a world of digital technology.

Many churches operate as if they are in the business of tradition-preservation, event planning, or social networking (in the literal sense of getting people together) rather than in the business of making disciples of Jesus Christ.

It is important to note that none of these activities are inherently bad or should be unconditionally discontinued (any more than Kodak should have ceased film production altogether) but we have to practice all these things in the context of pursuing our true business. Kodak should have seen film as a means of helping people capture and share memories—a means that can be phased out and replaced by other means as times change. Many people today don’t care about preserving songs and rituals from decades and centuries past, and they have other special events to attend and other places to get together with friends. If we are relying on these means alone, we will continue to lose people, but if we employ new means of making disciples, we can continue to fulfill our mission even as people, technology, and culture change.

Be Willing to Risk Yesterday for Tomorrow

Kodak was afraid of cannibalizing its film business with any digital products and services it produced. Rachelle notes that it is the same for publishers creating both print books and e-books. This is a big fear for many organizations that see the way trends are moving; they want to dabble in what’s new but aren’t willing to risk losing any part of what has been their core for a long time.

In churches, we mainly see this in terms of new worship services. Traditional churches know that the trend is toward using screens instead of hymnals, guitars and drums instead of organ music, casual dress and relaxed seating instead of robes and pews. So, they create new worship opportunities taking these trends into consideration, but go to great lengths not to lose attendance at the “main” worship service or make changes to the schedule or facility that might affect those people.

It’s not good “business” to alienate long-time customers/church members, of course, but pleasing them at the cost of missing out on new people is not smart either. And your long-time customers are eventually either going to die or become late-adopters of the trend anyway. These trends only go one direction. Even if they do cycle back around, it will be different. (Ascot blouses may be back in style, but you’ve got to be pretty cool to pull off wearing the actual 1970s version from your mom’s closet!) Yes, innovative churches are rediscovering the value of 18^th century hymns and rituals, but they are practicing them in a new way. You can’t just refuse to budge and hope people will eventually want what you have to offer again.

Understand Your “Customer”

Again, I’m using commercial terms for the sake of the metaphor. You have to understand the people you are trying to reach. Their wants and needs matter, now more than ever. Kodak didn’t take seriously the way people use their photos in a digital age, when sharing is largely online and between cell phones, and printed photos are used more creatively. I myself recently switched to another photo website after years of using KodakGallery.com because while their photo printing was fine, their photo books and other memory-keeping products weren’t user-friendly or creative enough. In a time of such rapid change and exponentially-growing options, organizations have to understand people’s wants and needs, and act accordingly.

As Rachelle explains, “Traditionally, advertising and marketing have been focused on ‘creating a need’ in the consumer, and then filling the need. You convince people they want something, then you sell it to them. While that dynamic is still in play, there’s been a power shift in favor of the consumer. . . . [People] wield their freedom of choice unflinchingly. There’s little brand loyalty.”

It seems consumerist to talk about people’s wants and choices when what they need is God, not a roll of film. We don’t have to “create the need,” because people’s need for God will always be there, but we can no longer rely on a cultural assumption that people should go to church, read the Bible, or pursue a life of faith. To reach people today with what they need, we have to be aware of what they want.

When we get frustrated with the consumer mentality of people trying out various churches, we may want to tell those church-shoppers, “It’s not about you!” Well, church, it’s not about you either. It’s about God, and the way you want to do worship or fellowship or Christian education doesn’t matter if it is not helping people grow closer to God. And, frankly, it is about those church-shoppers if we are truly trying to reach them.

Be an Innovator

Something interesting I’ve just learned since the news about Kodak broke is that they actually invented the digital camera, way back when, but didn’t market it because they knew it would hurt their film and photo-printing business. (That goes back to the point about fear of cannibalism, above.) Churches can be innovators. The church has spawned innovations in music, art, architecture, technology, and more. We are not doomed to lag behind or even just to follow trends. We can step out with new and creative ways for people to grow in faith, meeting needs people didn't even know they had.

Just because the central story of our faith took place 2000 years ago doesn’t mean we have to be stuck in the past. (Most churches choose 1950 as their inspiration anyway, not 50 AD.) We serve a living God, a risen Christ, an ever-moving Holy Spirit. We must be flexible enough—and willing—to follow.

ARTICLE: Impact Your Community this Easter

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:57:49 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

With all the cultural hubbub around Christmas, it can feel like a losing battle to remind people the real "reason for the season." Community events can get lost in the endless calendar of holiday happenings. Despite all the bunnies and Cadbury eggs, Easter has not been near so culturally hijacked as Christmas, and therefore presents even more of a wide-open opportunity to open your doors and show your community the love of Jesus.

Sure, people flock to churches on Easter like kids to a basket of marshmallow Peeps, but it takes more than one worship service to truly demonstrate—and invite people to participate in—the message and mission of Resurrection people. Here are a few ideas for showing the love of the risen Christ to your community:

Free Breakfast

"We're not hiding eggs—we're making them!" (I can just picture the ad with multicolored eggs being dropped into a frying pan.) Host a free breakfast the day before Easter. Post fliers in local stores and restaurants, and send out a van to pick up those who might not have a way to get there otherwise. It's a low-pressure way to introduce your congregation to new people, but even if they don't come back on Sunday, you will have blessed people with nourishment and kindness in Jesus' name.

Easter Clothing Giveaway

Many people enjoy dressing up for church on Easter Sunday, even in churches where jeans are usually the norm. Collect new and gently used dress clothes and create a "store" where people in need can acquire nice clothes for themselves and their children. Beyond giving people the pleasure and dignity of new clothes for Easter, you will equip people with appropriate attire for job interviews and professional workplaces. Make the event extra special with "personal shoppers" to help people find what they need and by offering refreshments to those who are waiting.

Special Offering

Stewardship expert Clif Christopher says that churches shouldn't expect Christmas-Easter visitors to give to the general church collection. They may put a few dollars in the plate as "admission to the event," but won't feel moved by the thought of keeping the lights on in your sanctuary. Offer people the chance to give to a good cause outside the local church, though, and they will jump at the chance to be part of something bigger than themselves. Set a goal of giving $2,500 to Blood:Water Mission or Heifer International. (For an Easter-animal tie-in: a lamb is $120, a trio of rabbits $60, or a flock of chicks $20.)

Pay It Forward

More fun and more disciple-building than a simple (even if special) offering is giving people the opportunity to be creative in how they bless others. As people leave the Easter service, hand out plastic Easter eggs with varying amounts of cash inside. Explain during the service that they are to use this money to help others, being a living example of the living Christ. Sure, some people may pocket the money themselves or forget to do anything special with it. Others may simply pass on the money to the first needy person they see. But with a little imagination, people can spread the wealth or even multiply the gift, paying for several people's meals at the drive through, or using the money to buy supplies for a project or fundraiser that will go far beyond the original amount. (Bay Community Church in Malbis, Ala. is just one church to try what they called a "faith stimulus." Read members' stories on their website.)

Big Fun

There was a trend a few years back of churches dropping plastic Easter eggs out of helicopters into a field full of sugar-hungry children and ringed with parents asking "What church is giving my kid this candy? 'Cuz I want to go there!" Catalyst Church in Greenville, S.C. even offers an "Egg Drop Manual" to help other churches host such an outrageous event.

Yes, it's gimmicky. Yes, it costs a lot of money to rent a helicopter, get "a large amount of liability insurance" (as the manual says), and buy thousands of pre-filled eggs and door prizes. (Catalyst Church actually closed its doors due to financial troubles about a year after its egg drop.) But whether you spend a lot or a little, the point of big community events is about more than keeping kiddos busy and getting butts in seats. It's a way of saying, we care about this community beyond the doors of our church, beyond those who share our religious convictions. As Larry Brey, Connections Pastor of Charlotte, N.C.'s Elevation Church, told Outreach magazine:

“We didn’t expect to see people at Easter services just because we had an egg drop, and we didn’t use it as a platform to preach,” Brey says. “We wanted this event to be a gesture of goodwill to the community.”

So whether it's a spring carnival, free meal, or community mission project, don't limit your Easter invitation to a single worship service. Take the good news of God's love—love so powerful it conquers death—out into your community this Easter.

ARTICLE: What's Your Lent Study Style?

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 14:47:03 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Lent is a time of preparation for Easter, but it means different things to each of us. We prepare in different ways. Some focus on Jesus' time in the wilderness, some on Holy Week, others on Easter itself and what comes after. Whatever your style, there are studies to take you or your group on a meaningful path to Easter.

The Traditionalist

If it's less than seven weeks before the first Sunday succeeding the first full moon after the Spring Equinox, then it must be Lent! The liturgical seasons are important to you and you're so devoted to the lectionary you wonder if Jesus handed out a bibliography of Old Testament readings with every parable.

You prefer straightforward, Bible-based studies and devotions that engage the mind and touch the heart. You probably have your favorite Lenten study preordered already, but if not, you may want to check out Following the Way, Hope Beyond Your Tears, or Lent for Everyone: Luke, Year C.

The Neomonastic

Taize, candles, lectio divina . . . It's ancient-modern all the way for you, as you find meaning in simplicity, self-denial, fasting, and spiritual practices. Your focus on Jesus' time in the desert, resisting temptation, lends itself to a more austere observance culminating in meditation on Christ's suffering.

You'll love Simplifying the Soul, from Catholic author Paula Huston, a collection of daily practices for Lent that draws on the wisdom of the Desert Fathers and Mothers. And Holy Week just wouldn't be, well, holy, without walking the Stations of the Cross. Pray using The Stations of the Cross which includes photographs and meditations by Paul Hoffman, or Alfred McBride's The Challenge of the Cross, which includes a fifteenth station for the resurrection.

The Pre-Easter-er

It's not Lent, it's our Easter series. Isn't Lent that stuff that gathers in your belly button? Christ is risen, so why focus so much on his suffering and death? For the seven weeks (or six, or four) leading up to Easter, you want to focus on what Christ's death and resurrection mean for us today. Themes of redemption and new life reign. Try Beth Moore's Breaking Free, J. Scott Duvall's New People Forever, or John Stott's LifeGuide Bible Study, The Cross.

The Jesus Journeyer

For you, Lent is all about following the path of Jesus, studying and discussing death and resurrection, sin and atonement. You embrace the roller coaster of Christ's final week in Jerusalem, pondering everything from the donkey Jesus rode in on to those war drums that end Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ.

Lucky you, there are many studies available exploring Jesus' journey to the cross, many with a DVD component. Check out The Last Days of Jesus by Matt Williams, and two from Adam Hamilton: 24 Hours That Changed the World, and Final Words from the Cross.

The Activist

If you're more focused on the actions and attitudes that got Jesus on the wanted poster in the first place, you may be an Activist. You're tired of giving up something for Lent—you want to give back instead, focusing on living out Jesus' values in the world. If this is you, you might like A Practical Christianity, meditations focused on a faith we "do," and you won't want to miss A Place at the Table: 40 Days of Solidarity with the Poor.

So what "style" are you?

ARTICLE: Christmas Day is a Sunday!

Sat, 12 Nov 2011 21:08:21 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

If you haven't made that connection yet, let me be the first to inform you: Christmas Day is on a Sunday! While we all probably wish that everyone so valued the true meaning of the holiday that such a collision of the calendar was a moot point, the truth is that Christmas Day falling on a Sunday presents several complications for churches:

low attendance as many people are traveling or simply prefer to stay home with their families
the need for novelty after Christmas Eve services the night before
difficulty lining up volunteers for child care and other weekly ministries
staff wishing to travel or have the day off
possibly even your own desire (or your family's) to spend the morning at home

In light of those potential problems, here are several creative solutions to make Christmas Day worship not just another Sunday service but a beautiful, fun, and essential part of everyone's celebration.

Carol Sing

Keep it simple by having a song-centered worship. People crave tradition around Christmastime, and will enjoy singing the songs they know by heart. Added bonus: the sermon can be short or replaced by song entirely, so you'll have one less thing to do that week and can spend time with your family instead!

Family Worship

If lining up nursery and children's church workers is a challenge, give your volunteers the week off and declare it a "family worship" day by planning a service that kids can appreciate as much as their parents—lots of music and movement, and a simple, short message that kids can understand.

Breakfast Fun

Have a big breakfast before worship so people can fellowship together on this festive day. Kids can wear their jammies to church and adults can compete in a "goofy slippers" contest. Consider holding worship in the fellowship space for a casual, at-home atmosphere.

Mission Morning

Make the morning about service to others. Advertise and send out vans to bring people who may be homeless and isolated to your church for breakfast and gifts. If your location is not suited for such outreach, go to where the people are by serving at a shelter or passing out coffee and muffins on a downtown sidewalk.

Lunchtime Worship

Rather than making people choose between their Christmas morning traditions and coming to church, push your start time to noon for a fun midday worship. Remind people that no matter what wonderful gifts they opened that morning, they can't compare to the gift of Jesus Christ coming into the world.

Bottom Line: Do Something Different

It's not just another Sunday, and the temptation of presents and pancakes at home is stronger than the usual temptation of sleeping in and lounging around with the newspaper—so mix it up! Whether you change the style, order, or schedule of worship and other typical Sunday programming, do something different to make this year's celebration of Christ's birth a truly memorable one.

BLOG: Interest-Based Outreach Ideas

Mon, 19 Sep 2011 20:31:08 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

On a recent rainy Sunday afternoon, I sat on our covered front porch with our local "family" magazine--you know, the kind you pick up for free at the grocery store or pediatrician's office. It's one of the few publications that I read less for the articles and more for the ads. As I went through the event listings, looking for fun (and free!) things to do in my area, I was struck by some of the activities and events local churches were advertising that appealed to niches of the community with certain interests, be it time with the kids, a personal hobby or vocation, or a difficult life issue.

There were some great offerings for community outreach in there that might inspire other churches with some cool new ideas to open your doors to your community. Here are a few that might inspire you:

Family Movie Night

Any church with a screen (and a CVLI license) can host a free movie night. Pick a G-rated film so that all ages will be welcome, pop popcorn and offer beverages (at least water, if you're concerned about sticky soft drink spills in the worship space). Consider having child care available for infants and very small children who might not be able to sit through a whole feature film. Note that the CVLI prohibits using the title of or characters from the film to advertise your event, so it has to be a surprise! (Read the CVLI Terms for yourself.)

Concerts or Recitals

If your church has a concert-quality choral or instrumental group, planning an evening concert is a natural idea. But even if you don't, look into groups in your town that may need a venue for their performances or that you can book for a special concert. Especially around Christmas, people seek out traditional musical performances like Handel's Messiah, and could discover your church for the first time by attending such an event. Consider partnering with private music teachers to host a recital for their students, and if you have a stage, dance recitals might be an option as well.

Scrapbooking

An extremely popular hobby among women of all ages today, scrapbooking is often a solitary activity, but doesn't have to be! Hosting a scrapbooking group requires little from your church beyond a room with tables and chairs, and a few enthusiastic scrappers to provide critical mass. Participants bring their own supplies and work on their own projects while enjoying fellowship with others who share their interest. Broadening the group to include all arts and crafts (knitters, painters, etc.) can open the fun to even more people.

CEO Fellowship

While I think the name of this group is limiting and perhaps misleading (as I assume the church is targeting business professionals of any status--though probably only male ones), the idea is a good one. Meeting early on a weekday morning for coffee and breakfast (6:30-8 a.m. or so), the group could offer some Christian fellowship and a networking opportunity for a specific niche within the community. This was a large church in an affluent bedroom community advertising this group, so depending on the demographics of your town, a different career-centered group might be ideal.

Seasonal Festival

'Tis the season for fall festivals right now, and Christmas will soon be upon us, but whether it's a Spring Fling, a Summer Fun Fest, or a Harvest Hoedown, events like these can draw quite a crowd. Families will love games and activities for the kids, others may enjoy a craft fair component, and everyone appreciates good food and music.

Preschool Storytime

Though I recently complained about churches favoring stay-at-home moms in their offerings for parents and kids, a weekday storytime for young children is a great draw to help parents of young children get out of the house for some free, enriching fellowship and activity. This can also be a great time to showcase your children's program, letting visitors know what they could expect if they returned on Sunday. After all, a church that kids want to come back to will get their parents coming back too.

Buddy Break

If your church has people trained in special needs ministry, offering a "Buddy Break" enables caregivers of special needs children and adults to have some much-needed time to themselves. I'm not sure how much training is needed, but this article offers some valuable advice for churches to be prepared for special needs guests on Sunday morning.

Infertility Support

While divorce care groups have long been common (and much-needed) in churches, I have not seen as often a support group for women and couples dealing with infertility. What an opportunity to minister to a group of people whose crisis is often kept secret and for whom understanding peers are hard to find (offline, at least).

What groups and events have you heard about or tried in your church to reach certain people in your community?

BLOG: What about Working Moms?

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 20:53:24 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

While visiting my parents this past weekend, I had the opportunity to worship at my home church (which I've gushed about before) and something in the bulletin caught my eye:

Mothers in Faith, a Kingdom Group for moms of young children, meets on the second Tuesday of each month at 6:30 pm.

My heart lept for joy, despite the fact that I live 150 miles away and couldn't actually be part of this group myself.

Why was I so happy?

Because this was the first small group, Bible study, play group, or fellowship gathering for moms that I'd seen that did not meet at 10 am on a Wednesday, or some other time that—intentionally or not—sent the message that working moms need not apply. As a working mom who craves both Christian fellowship and connection with others in my life stage, this is a discouraging trend I've noticed.

Sixty-six percent—two thirds—of moms with kids under 17 work outside of the home (full time or part time) and yet churches seem to plan with only the one-third in mind when they schedule women's gatherings (be they a young mom's group or a women's group in general) for weekday mornings. (Source: Pew Social Trends, 2009) You can tell a lot about a church's demographics by whether they offer VBS in the daytime or evening. Daytime = a majority of stay-at-home moms or teachers who have the summer off.

I'm not assuming an intentional bias on the part of churches (unless the church vocally states that women should not work outside the home), but some latent assumptions may be coming into play:

1. That SAHMs need community more than WOHMs.

(That's stay-at-home moms and work-outside-the home moms.) I certainly understand the isolation stay-at-home moms can feel, not having a lot of adult interaction many days, and for those moms, morning or early afternoon is probably a better time to gather than evenings (assuming that the gathering includes kids or the church provides child care). So I'm certainly not saying churches should move all women's activities to evenings or weekends, but working moms need Christian fellowship too. Workplaces may provide adult interaction, but not necessarily the faith-enriching kind, and most likely not opportunities for soul-baring and deep personal connection.

2. That most women don't work.

If a church has maintained the same schedule for many years, the women who started a certain group in the 1950s or '60s may have aged together and may not even question why younger women in the church haven't joined their group. (This may be especially true in smaller, older congregations where there is likely to be one flagship women's group.) In more affluent communities as well, it is more likely that many of the active women in the church do not work outside the home, and they may take for granted that others have a similar lifestyle. (Check out this fascinating infographic from Circle of Moms contrasting the race, politics, marital status, and more of SAHMs and WOHMs.) As stated above, 66 percent of mothers with kids at home work, and 59 percent of women in general work, so while your community may differ (and that should indeed affect your planning, if your assumptions are confirmed) keep in mind the nationwide reality when evaluating options.

How Can We Do Better?

As I said, I'm not advocating we do away with daytime gatherings for women. For some women and for many older folks, daytime is a much better option. Offering both a daytime and an evening moms group would be ideal. But here are a few other ideas that could make it easier for the 66 percent to be more involved in your church:

Wednesday evenings and Sunday morning gatherings. This one is kind of obvious, but since midweek and Sunday church activities are so standard, we may forget the value of niche group offerings, by which I mean classes and groups tailored to young parents or just women, rather than everyone of a certain (wide) age range being in one class together.
Saturday morning play group. Too long the exclusive domain of SAHMs, play groups have benefits for both parents and kids, and working moms may really enjoy the opportunity to fellowship with other moms and help their children cultivate friendships with other kids from church.
Lunchtime. We've all got to eat, right? This time slot has potential for a variety of gatherings. A brown-bag lunch at the church (with child care) can bring both SAHMs and WOHMs together for Bible study. Working moms could meet at a restaurant for fellowship. And if your church is located in a downtown area or near a lot of businesses, offer and advertise a cheap lunch as an outreach to area working women.
Day care outreach. Speaking of outreach, if you are specifically interested in attracting younger families to your church, find a way to partner with a nearby day care to show care and support to busy parents (who most likely both work, if the kids are in day care). Handing out free coffee in the parking lot at drop-off time would go a long way to endear yourself to the dual-career families in your area and possibly compel them to visit your church on Sunday.
Evening VBS. This is one area in which I actually am advocating one time over the other. By holding VBS in the evenings, you not only make it possible for working moms to volunteer and bring their kids, but for more men to be involved and for whole families to participate together.

How is your church reaching out to working women?

ARTICLE: Grandparents Day

Wed, 07 Sep 2011 20:49:45 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

In all the focus on the tenth anniversary of 9/11 this coming Sunday, we may be overlooking another observance that merits some acknowledgement: Grandparents Day.

Surprisingly not just another Hallmark-holiday, Grandparents Day was established in the 1970s by Marian McQuade, a West Virginia woman who tirelessly advocated for older adults, and made a national holiday in 1979 by President Jimmy Carter. McQuade intended the day for family togetherness and to teach children appreciation for older generations. With families living far apart as they often do today, the church can help fill the gap by celebrating connections between children and older adults both biologically related and otherwise.

Here are a few ideas to consider for this Sunday—or any Sunday this fall! The September observance (the Sunday after Labor Day) was chosen as a nod to the “autumn” years of life, and autumn is only just beginning!

Use the Sunday School Time

Teach a Bible lesson on Ruth and Naomi, or on scriptures like Leviticus 19:32, “You must rise in the presence of an old person and respect the elderly,” (CEB). Both advocate deference for the wisdom and needs of older persons and remind children of the value of older persons in our lives.

Devote the rest of the Sunday school time to having children make cards either to mail to their own grandparents or to give to older adults in the congregation. Given the difficulty children may have discerning older adults from those who might be offended at their inclusion in the “grandparent” demographic, consider delivering the cards to Sunday school classes consisting primarily of older adults, or mailing them to a pre-selected list of older adults in the congregation. (Shut-ins will especially appreciate the gesture!)

Recognition in Worship

As with Mothers Day and Fathers Day, Grandparents Day can be tricky in that we do not want to cause pain to those who wanted to become parents or grandparents but have not, or those for whom such relationships are strained. Grandparents Day includes the additional complication of age, in that recognizing all older adults (as we might recognize all women on Mothers Day) might be embarrassing for those who do not consider themselves “old enough” to be grandparental figures in the congregation. Besides, many people become grandparents at age fifty or before, further complicating any equation between grandparenthood and “old age.”

A better option than specific recognition might be a prayer or blessing honoring the worth of older adults and reminding us all to express our appreciation and care to the older adults in our lives. Similarly, a children’s sermon about valuing the wisdom of grandparents and “grand-friends” can be a blessing to the whole congregation.

Adopt-a-Grandparent

Grandparents Day is a perfect occasion on which to launch an Adopt-a-Grandparent program in your church. Invite older adults to sign up to be paired with children and youth in the congregation. Middle-aged adults can be included as well—my own in-laws have been adoptive grandparents in their church from the moment they became empty-nesters!

Whether their “real” grandparents or grandchildren live near or far, children and older adults can benefit from the special relationships formed through such a program. Plan events that adopted grandparents and grandchildren can participate in together, such as lunches, zoo outings, and low-strain mission projects. Encourage participants to be in frequent contact and to plan their own outings (with parents’ approval, of course).

Go Visiting

Take youth on a field trip to a local nursing home or to the homes of shut-ins affiliated with your congregation. Youth can read Scripture to the elderly, lead a hymn-sing, and simply be in conversation with older adults. Prepare youth with a few appropriate questions to ask, for example, about the older adults’ families, hometown, and favorite childhood memories.

Activities such as these should not only bring a smile to the faces of grandparents and other older adults, but teach children to honor and learn from older generations.

ARTICLE: Backpack Blessings

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 20:03:12 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

As kids head back to school in the fall (or mid- to late-summer, as the case may be), churches often gear up with new programming, resuming Wednesday night activities, offering tutoring or after-school care, and collecting school supplies and weekend meals for low-income children. But what about the spiritual needs of children and their families as they head back to school?

A "Blessing of the Backpacks" or other Back-to-School prayer in worship at the start of the school year can offer encouragement to the excited and comfort to the anxious. Here are a few variations you can mix and match in your own service.

For Students

Lord, bless these backpacks and the children and youth who carry them as they begin yet another year of school. Give them peace when they feel nervous, focus when they feel distracted, energy when they feel tired. Open their minds to the lessons they will learn both in and outside the classroom. Help them to make friends that build one another up, and be friends to those who need them. Guide them in making good choices as they grow in wisdom and maturity. Be ever-present with them in the classroom, on the school bus, on the playground, and at home, and may they feel your loving care in all they do. Amen.

For Teachers

Lord, bless those in the ministry of teaching future generations. As they embark on a new school year, grant them energy, passion, discipline, and endurance for their daily tasks. Infuse their classrooms with an atmosphere of care and mutual respect, that all interactions there will be bathed in patience and understanding. Help their lessons to grow pupils in both knowledge and character, and help us all to support the work these teachers do building up our community and our future. Amen.

For Donated Backpacks and Supplies

Lord, bless these backpacks and school supplies and the children who will use them. Let these physical gifts be symbols of the love and support we give to the children of our community throughout the year. Help us to look upon every child in our community as one of our own, helping them to grow in character and knowledge. Amen.

ARTICLE: Men's Church/Women's Church

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 17:40:20 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

As men and women in the church, we live in the tension between Genesis 1:27 and Galatians 3:28. We were created “in the image of God . . . male and female” but at the same time, we are “no longer male and female; for all of [us] are one in Christ Jesus.”

The genders are a distinct part of our identity as God’s image-bearers, and yet are in some ways irrelevant as we all seek to serve Christ according to our individual mix of gifts and graces.

In the life of the church, there are times when our unity and equality need to be emphasized; for example, as we push for greater acceptance of women in senior leadership positions, encourage full partnership in marriage, and break down stereotypes of “masculine” or “feminine” behaviors. At other times, we need to focus on the unique needs of women and men, girls and boys, offering opportunities for people to build relationships, express themselves, and grow as disciples with others who share their gender. Separating youth into boys’ and girls’ small groups can facilitate authentic sharing, for example, and providing a women-only worship service or men-only Bible study can create a special space for adults to grow closer to God and one another.

This issue explores these and other aspects of men’s and women’s experiences in the church. Whitney Walton recalls how touched an elderly woman in her congregation was just hearing a woman’s voice from the pulpit. Larry Coppock explains the benefits of Boy Scouts for discipling not just boys but their entire families. Carolyn Custis James describes how the iconic Proverbs 31 Woman—and Man—model strength and mutuality in marriage.

Our gender is but one characteristic in the tapestry of traits that define each of us as individuals, but it is one that cannot be ignored as the church aims to nurture and empower each person as an effective, devoted follower of Christ. We are all unique, but we are all God’s image-bearers, and we are all one in Christ Jesus.

ARTICLE: SBC a “One Issue Voter” on the New NIV

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 21:06:12 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

In their annual meeting this week in Phoenix, the Southern Baptist Convention voted “not to commend” (and thus, not to sell in Lifeway bookstores) the new NIV Bible translation.

If this all sounds like déjà vu, you might recall that Zondervan released the TNIV (Today’s New International Version) in 2001, and the SBC rejected it the first chance they got, at their 2002 convention. This isn’t surprising, I suppose. Combine the TNIV’s gender-neutral language with the typically conservative audience of the NIV’s beloved 1984 version and you have a recipe for the marketing flop the TNIV turned out to be. Zondervan appeared to take that rejection into consideration when preparing the new NIV, reconsidering each gender-related word choice and less-traditional idiom of the TNIV.

Nonetheless, according to the SBC resolution, their reasoning for rejecting the NIV 2011 appears to be the same: gender-neutral language. Reads the resolution, “This translation alters the meaning of hundreds of verses, most significantly by erasing gender-specific details which appear in the original language.”

One such example is Luke 9:23, the passage blogger Paul Wilkinson brings up in his post on the issue:

NIV 1984: If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

NIV 2011: If anyone would come after me, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

The issue at hand is whether the “gender specific details” really are dictated by the original language. The word anthropos is widely considered to be neutral in the plural, but some scholars dispute its neutrality in the singular, using that argument to defend the use of “man” when “person” would otherwise be more accurate. The SBC’s resident Bible scholars (or pastors and layfolk trusting those scholars) seem to be of that mind, and have made gender-specific language their shibboleth. The resolution makes no reference to any other reason for rejecting the NIV 2011. A translation’s gender-specificity or inclusivity seems to be the one issue driving the denomination’s acceptance or rejection of that translation.

Pastor and blogger Ron Edmondson makes no comment on gender inclusivity, but decided not to use the 2011 NIV for a different reason: the translation of Philippians 2:5, one of his favorite verses.

NIV 1984: Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus…

NIV 2011: In your relationships with one another, have the same attitude of mind Christ Jesus had…

“It’s critical to understanding who we are to be in Christ, in my opinion,” says Edmondson. “According to the revision, I suppose I’m only to have the mind of Christ when I am dealing with other people. If I’m by myself I can have any mind I want.”

While one questions rejecting a translation over one verse, at least this reasoning carries some spiritual weight. (To any who may retort that using “man” over “person” is of great theological value, I would ask whether their reading of Luke 9:23, for example, exempts women from the command to deny themselves and carry the cross.)

As we’re headed into the 2012 election cycle, an appropriate metaphor might be the concept of “one issue voting.” While the occasional person makes their selection of a candidate based on one pet issue (and some reject a candidate based on only one issue), most people vote based on the candidate’s whole slate of positions, character, experience, etc. Why does the SBC insist on being a one issue voter when the majority of its people (in the pews if not in the pulpits, though likely many there too) will choose a Bible translation based on a variety of factors significant to their own personal preferences, Bible usage, and faith journey?

Gender-inclusive language (loving it or hating it) is indeed one issue that is important to some people. Other people love ancient languages and will analyze every word for its faithfulness to the Hebrew or Greek. Some (a vast majority of laypeople, I suspect) care more that a translation is easily understandable, with words they commonly use and hear. Some, like Edmondson, focus on the translation’s implications for discipleship and what speaks to them personally. Others are most concerned that it reads well aloud when they’re preaching or teaching. Some want the words to be familiar, and are thus unlikely to adopt a new translation, no matter what the theology or comprehensibility.

And some care that a translation is endorsed by their denomination or pastor… but many do not.

In today’s culture of accessibility and individual expression, people are going to choose for themselves what translation appeals most to them, based on a unique and personal combination of factors. If gender-specific language and traditional cadence are most important, they may well choose King James, even if their church emphasizes modern, common language. If verbal equivalence with the original languages is top priority, that person might cherish the NRSV (if they also prefer gender-inclusivity) or the ESV (if not). If someone wants the language to feel natural and be able to read without stumbling over the words, they may love the Common English Bible.

And if they can’t get what they want at Lifeway, they’ll go to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Cokesbury, or any number of other retailers. Attempting to limit access to the Bible—any Bible—reflects poorly on the SBC and surely does more harm than good to people seeking to study and immerse themselves in the word of God.

BLOG: Why I Like Contemporary Worship

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 15:08:27 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

I know the so-called "worship wars" are so 1990s, and I'm not even sure how they turned out. (Maybe the emergent church threw a wrench in all of it as a surprise third-party candidate?) In any case, I still find myself debating the issue of musical styles for worship. I often say how I enjoy both extremes of worship music: Give me rock and roll praise music OR grand, reverent, high-church, classical hymnody--anything but the humdrum, ho-hum middle, in which people plod half-heartedly through late-19th century hymns with barely a discernable melody.

I still hold to that "either extreme" position as far as my personal tastes, and I can definitely feel genuinely worshipful through a majestic rendition of "Holy, Holy, Holy" in four-part harmony as well as when belting out the names of God in "You Are Holy," but I recently realized something that I think gives contemporary worship a slight edge, theologically. Contemporary worship (and yes, I know "contemporary" is a loaded and imprecise term, since that style began in the 1970s, but you know what I mean) is driven by the premise that church should reflect the styles and technology of the day. If microphones, amplifiers, guitars, etc. have been invented and are in widespread use outside the church, then there is no reason not to use them in church.

Why do I think this has theological significance? Because intentionally avoiding something just because it is modern or secular while preserving a decades-old way of doing things sends the message that the church is supposed to be behind the times--that church is just a feel-good way of escaping modernity and recapturing the "good old days"--or that worship services are supposed to be totally different and separate from the rest of life as we know it. Everyone is entitled to their own musical preferences, and some people just prefer quieter, more contemplative music in church. That's fine, and I'm not saying loud, upbeat praise choruses are inherently better. It's just a matter of taste. And there can definitely be good and bad theology in lyrics of any genre! My point is about the mindset that guides the choice of worship style: is church about preserving the past, or about helping people in every age connect with God?

Traditional worship is valuable for its continuity with the historic faith and for its meaningful symbolism and liturgy, but I think it can also inadvertently suggest that there is something about our current culture that is incompatible with holiness. That to be righteous or close to God, we must keep our religion distinct from culture. Contemporary worship, on the other hand, wants to seem familiar, so that the experience of God can blend seamlessly with other areas of one's life, integrating faith with everyday reality.

BLOG: Anonymous Promises

Thu, 26 May 2011 14:26:02 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

I played hooky from the church my husband pastors one week and worshiped instead at a nearby Episcopal church. It happened to be baptism and confirmation Sunday, and I was pleasantly reminded of a great realization I had several years ago, during the college and post-college church-hopping phase so many people experience (if they go to church at all during those years, that is).

As I bounced around to various Baptist, nondenominational, Episcopal, Disciples, and United Methodist churches across Kentucky, South Carolina, North Carolina, and Tennessee, I witnessed A LOT of baptisms and baby dedications. I just had a knack for being there when these things happened, even at churches I visited only once. In many of the churches, the congregation vows to help nurture the person in the Christian faith, and though I rarely knew the people being baptized, I repeated this vow as well. At first, it was rote, simply because that was what those in attendance were to do. After a while, though, I began to see these experiences in an "angels unawares" sort of way--wherever I go, there is some small chance that any person I meet could be one of those children I vowed to support in the faith.

What might this mean? In the words of the Apostle Paul, it could mean not placing a "stumbling block" in front of others that would somehow rock their faith. In the words of my most admired college professor, it might mean working for a world in which it is "easier to be good." (The idea being that the more we bring the kingdom of God to earth, the more natural it will feel to be righteous.)

I left the Episcopal service liking our own congregation not more or less, but with a renewed appreciation of the church at large and our role within it. I may only be "in" our local congregation, but I am "of" Christ's church, no matter what.

BLOG: Spiritual Gifts Unbound

Wed, 18 May 2011 16:05:02 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

A few weeks ago, I took the spiritual gifts assessment on Ministry Matters (drawn from the small group study program, Serving from the Heart). I love taking assessments and quizzes of all kinds, so I couldn’t wait to dive right in.

Certain statements, like “I am organized and detail oriented,” were easy to rate along the five-point scale. That one, for example, is just an objective characteristic about me that would be true whether I do organizational work for the church or not. Other statements, however, made me debate myself and question how strongly to rate that quality because while I may enjoy that activity or possess that trait, I am not currently using it in my congregational setting.

It was when I got to the item, “I often prepare and distribute resources to help others in ministry,” (or something to that effect) that I realized, “Wait a sec! That’s what I do for a living, every day, as an editor for Ministry Matters!” From that point on, I didn’t limit myself to thinking only about my current activities in my church, but how I use my gifts to serve the kingdom of God anywhere and everywhere!

It was such a liberating realization, and I wondered how many people in the church (or Christians not currently involved in a church) do not realize their giftedness because they’re thinking too small.

You can use your spiritual gifts—i.e. do ministry—in any setting. At work, even if you don’t work for a religious organization, you can still minister to your colleagues, clients, or customers through your daily actions and attitudes. At school, at home, out in public with random strangers, your spiritual gifts are always a part of you and part of the way you live your faith in day to day life, not just in church.

And if your church setting right now really doesn’t provide a way for you to use your gifts, perhaps that signifies an opportunity for you to start a new ministry or volunteer your time and talent in a non-traditional way. (“Hey, I’d love to edit that newsletter for you before it’s sent out!”. . . not that I think that every time I see a typo in a document from church or my daughter’s school. . .)

At the end of the 85-question assessment, my results were Administration, Giving, and Mercy. Seeing those proclivities validated helps me recognize the kingdom value of my work and encourages me in continued efforts of generosity and mercy. For the time being, these are mostly being practiced outside our church walls (except for part of our giving, of course), but they are nonetheless my gifts. What are yours?

BLOG: Giving Joyfully

Tue, 17 May 2011 14:44:37 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Being a pastor's family, I don't know if I should admit this, but my husband and I disagree over whether one's tithe (the traditional 10% of gross income one "gives back to God" through religious or other charitable organizations) should all go to the church, with other, smaller donations to other charities on top of that, or whether the tithe should be distributed to a variety of missional causes, including the church.

Matt feels strongly about tithing specifically to the church, but being the gracious, egalitarian husband that he is, he suggested that since I feel differently, we each give our tithe as we see fit. So long as 10% of his income goes back to the church, I can distribute 10% or more of my income to a variety of ministries meeting needs around the world.

We started this new system about six months ago, and I have to say, I LOVE IT!

Viewing my giving almost like a debit account ("ok, I have X amount left to give in the next year") rather than like a bill to pay ("ok, we have to write this month's check for X amount") makes it flexible and fun. When I hear about a sudden, urgent need, I can respond immediately, generously, and joyfully.

There is certainly something to be said for the discipline of writing a monthly check to your local congregation (and we do that as well), but I love being able to give spontaneously and more generously than I would if I were already giving 10% of my income to the church. One of the main scriptures that drives my giving (in addition to "whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me" Matt. 25:40) is "Give to all who ask of you" Matt. 5:42. I don't really give to ALL who ask of me (in fact, I avoid answering the phone when I think it is a telemarketer), but I do like to respond to a wide variety of needs, and I am glad to have found a way to do so with great freedom and joy.

ARTICLE: What Motherhood Has Taught Me about God

Fri, 06 May 2011 19:39:06 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

When my daughter Kate was a few months old, she went through a phase where she would stick her hands so far into her mouth that she would gag. She would do this over and over, not realizing that it was her own action causing that uncomfortable response.

As a parent, you might think several things while watching your baby do this to herself: a little bit of amusement at how cute and silly your little one is, and how futile it is to try to get her to stop doing that. But this was also one of the many things I’ve experienced in my two years of motherhood that has taught me about God and the way God acts and feels toward us as a loving parent.

That particular lesson was how God hates to see us do things that are bad for us. He probably doesn’t look at us with amusement if we’re really putting ourselves or someone else in danger, but he does feel concern, trying to guide us away from the bad and toward the good, and sorrow when we insist on our own troubled paths.

I really don’t think God makes up arbitrary rules, but rather just doesn’t want to see us go through the emotional pain or physical risk that certain habits and situations can bring. We often respond with anger or rebelliousness, like a teenager thinking “you just don’t want me to have any fun!” But when we realize that God’s guidance is motivated completely by love and concern for our safety and well-being, it can change the way we live and the way we relate to God—as a caring parent and not a warden or slavedriver.

God loves it when we go to him for comfort. I hate to see my child upset, but when she’s wailing and scared, I feel honored to be the one to hold her and comfort her. I can’t always just make it better, but I can accompany her through the distress. There will always be questions about why God doesn’t swoop in and make things all better—tornados, earthquakes, cancer, depression, car accidents… I can’t answer those questions any more than you can, but I do know that surely God mourns with us in our despair.

Now that my daughter is a toddler, I love how when she's upset—even when she's upset with me—she runs to me for comfort. She's yanking on the refrigerator door handle, begging for me to open it so she can pull the carton of strawberries down or grab a string cheese and try to eat it through the wrapper. I say "no, you've had enough of a snack already." Her face crumples and she lets out a pathetic wail. I crouch down, and she runs to me and throws her arms around my neck, burying her tear-stained face in my shoulder. She's mad at me—but she still knows where the comfort is.

I love the thought that even when we are upset, angry at life—at God—we can take it straight to him. Being mad at God doesn't mean we have to run away. We can be angry—cry and scream and rage—and seek comfort at the same time.

God loves when we delight in his presence. Nothing makes me happier than when Kate is giddy at just the sight of me, when I walk in the door and she gives an enthusiastic, “Hi Mommy!” God must love it when we stop and smile, basking in the moment of recognizing that he is here with us, when we worship wholeheartedly and celebrate who God is and all that he has done.

What’s especially great is that God delights in us as well. Sometimes we focus so much on the ways we fall short, the ways we screw up, we assume that God must be angry or at the very least disappointed in us. But we are God’s children. For better or for worse, he loves us. I think of the way I think of my daughter during the workday, and glance at one of the many framed pictures of her on my desk. I'll stop, pick up the frame, and just stare at her, delighting in her sweet face. It’s hard to believe, but God just might look at us the same way.

I love this divine sort of SAT equation. God : Me :: Me : Kate
(If you're rusty on your standardized test jargon, that's "God is to me as I am to Kate.")

On a test question, one of those items would be blank. "A is to B as B is to ____." It's strange to say, but it seems that God is the blank here. God is beyond our comprehension, and while we read and hear about the magnitude of God's love for us, it is hard to grasp. But I know how much I love Kate, and I cherish the glimpse that relationship gives of how much God loves me. It's not a perfect equation, of course, because even I will fail.

Isaiah 49:15 says,

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!

Earthly mothers, who in so many ways provide a beautiful example of God’s parental love toward us, will still fail. We are human and we will mess up. Even the mother who bears a child can "forget," abandon, or even harm her offspring.

But God will not.

As we celebrate the mother-child relationship this weekend, let it offer some small glimpse, some way of comprehending what an infinite, ever-loving God feels for us.

BLOG: Sitting in Church

Thu, 05 May 2011 19:10:34 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

A while back, I was chatting with a few other women about the difficulties of taking small children to church. I've lamented before how not having a church nursery was stressful to me because toddlers cannot sit quietly and still for an hour-long worship service. As the pastor's wife, it is important for me to attend this church (as opposed to seeking one out that has a nursery or cry room, as I would if I were an ordinary person). So, I would struggle through the worship hour with a variety of tricks--feeding her cereal, confining her to a stroller, and when all else failed, taking her out and wandering the halls until the service ends. I love to worship God; I want to worship God in a communal setting on Sunday mornings--and yet most Sundays I left wondering "why do I bother?"

The other women in this conversation were not pastor's wives, just fellow churchgoing mothers without nurseries or cry rooms at their churches. While they agreed it could be difficult during the older-infant/early-toddler stage, they felt like it was important to teach kids to be able to sit in church without needing a steady stream of snacks, without having to be taken out, without a nursery, cry room, or children’s service to offer an age-appropriate alternative to the main worship service. Though I said nothing at the time, I disagreed, and have been chewing on this notion ever since.

On one level, that sounds nice, and sounds like something I would advocate (non-coddling parenting, similar to the idea of not heating bottles and not rocking a child to sleep), but it also seems inappropriate. We wouldn’t force a kindergartener to read from the King James Version (or even the NIV) when there are children’s Bibles available that put things in kids’ language and includes pictures to engage them more. Why should worship be any different? The overall message is not different, but it is presented in such a way that kids can understand and appreciate the message more.

The other moms pointed out that kids have to learn to sit still in school, too, but I would remind them that first graders are not given lectures about Herman Melville’s use of metaphor, but rather are taught the basics of reading on their own level and (hopefully) in an engaging way. Likewise, we should offer children’s worship experiences that engage children on their own level, with lots of singing, movement, and interaction, and lessons that put the Bible and faith formation into a language and style that small kids understand.

Beyond those more practical/educational concerns, however, the idea didn’t sit well with me from an ecclesiological perspective.

Teaching a child to sit in church when the sermon, liturgy, and possibly even the music are incomprehensible to him reinforces the notion that church is something to be endured. That it is something we are supposed to do even when it is boring and meaningless.

Frankly, I think too many people—young and old alike—are just sitting in church.

Too many people go to worship each week, socialize with their friends, and go through the motions. They go out of habit, because they are “supposed” to go, rather than going with a real expectation of experiencing God. Like a child being told just to sit still, stop fidgeting, and be quiet, people sit politely in their pew, mumble through a few hymns, listen to a sermon, and go on their merry way, totally unchanged and no closer to God than when they came in.

I definitely believe in the "fake it 'til you make it" philosophy, and I'm not saying one should only go to church when feeling in a worshipful mood. But I am saying that we—churches and the people in them—need to raise the bar.

Churches need to evaluate what works and what doesn’t. Are our words connecting with people, or are their eyes glazed over? Do our songs and liturgies inspire an energetic response, or are people just going through the motions? Do people live out the gospel Monday through Saturday, or is faith just a Sunday thing?

We in the pews need to raise the bar as well, expecting not just to be served but to serve. Do we listen attentively, seeking to learn and grow? Do we pay attention to what we’re singing and saying, so that the words become our own? Do we seek out ways to be Jesus’ hands and feet in the world Monday through Saturday? In the words of one respected pastor, are we “standing on the promises” or just “sitting on the premises”?

No one, child or adult, should settle for just sitting in church—much less be trained to.

BLOG: The Case for Infant Baptism

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 15:01:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Ten years ago, I never would have thought I would baptize my children as infants. In the Disciples of Christ tradition in which I was raised, a voluntary confession of faith was very important. People came forward (often in their older elementary or early teen years, if they were raised in the church), answered affirmatively the question "Do you believe that Jesus is the Christ, the son of the living God, and do you accept him as your Lord and Savior?", and were baptized a few weeks later.

When I started attending an Episcopal church during my junior year of college, infant baptism was one of the harder things for me to get on board with (and not just because the congregation had to stand for such a long time during the baptismal liturgy that I nearly fainted!). The decision to follow Christ should be made by each person themselves, when they are of an age to cognitively do so, I thought. The decision to start a journey of faith was a personal one that should not be made on someone else's behalf, I thought.

Over time, however, I realized that--for those raised in the church--the journey of faith did not begin at the time of that voluntary, public confession. Childrens’ Christian life begins so much earlier, when parents read them Bible stories and pray before bedtime, and when Sunday school teachers and others nurture them as part of the faith community. Cognitive belief in certain doctrines, such as Jesus' messiahship, takes one's faith to a new level, beginning a significant new leg of the lifelong Christian journey, but it is not really the beginning, nor is it a point of arrival.

After years of learning Bible stories and songs, praying, attending Vacation Bible School, etc., I made my confession of faith and was baptized at age nine. But there was no time that I remember NOT believing. Like many who grew up in the church, I did not have a "conversion experience" to speak of, but rather it just felt like time to publicly acknowledge the belief in Christ that had been nurtured in me for years. Several years after that, in the summer of 1997, I entered a new stage of my faith journey, in which my relationship with God became much more "real" to me. Fall of 2001 was another period of intense spiritual growth, and on it goes...

Few would argue that the confession of faith is the end of one's Christian journey, but I would say it's not really the beginning either. So, if that is the case, why not baptize at a time closer to the real beginning of one's journey of faith--that is, the beginning of one's life? When we baptized our daughter at three months of age, we celebrated the inauguration of her walk with God. We vowed to raise and nurture her in the faith, and inducted her into the worldwide community of Christ-followers, each seeking God and growing in relationship with him, step by step, over the course of an entire lifetime.

ARTICLE: Max on Leadership

Mon, 18 Apr 2011 19:47:10 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Prolific author and pastor Max Lucado has inspired millions with his writing. In his latest book, Max on Life: Answers and Insights to Your Most Important Questions, Max responds to over two hundred questions his readers and congregants are asking about faith and practical life issues. We asked Max for some pastor-to-pastor advice on answering congregants’ most difficult questions.

Max, most people know you as a bestselling, inspirational author. A lot of people don’t realize that you are still active as leader of a congregation. Tell me about your role at Oak Hills Church in San Antonio.

I’m surprised how many people say they didn’t realize I’m still in the pastorate. My role here is what we call a Teaching Minister. That means I don’t have to do the building and the budget anymore. From 1988-2009 I was Senior Minister, and then I invited Randy Frazee to move here from Chicago, and he become Senior Minister and I became Teaching Minister. So he gets to do the general leadership; I get to teach, write books, and play golf. That last one needs a lot of work!

In your new book, Max on Life, you address a lot of the hard questions that people have today, about doubt, disaster, sex, money, and more. What is your advice for church leaders fielding such complex—and often very personal—questions?

To avoid them and pretend they didn’t ask. (Just kidding!) We have to address these issues because everyone else is. These are the issues on the news, on television shows, in books that everyone is reading. If we don’t answer those questions, they won’t hear the Christian perspective on these issues of social importance.

Now, I don’t like to turn the weekend service into a time of controversy. People come to church seeking inspiration and direction. I don’t get into a lot of political issues; I don’t want church to be known more for its stance on social issues more than its stance on Jesus. We have to let the teachings of Jesus be the focal point of church, and then address social issues. I’m thinking of things like abortion, war, etc., but they have to come second to the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

What is the hardest question you’ve ever been asked as a pastor?

The question of human suffering.

Just yesterday I had a testimony in worship from a young woman who is a missionary. Her father, also a missionary, was dying of acute liver failure on their flight back from Africa. She locked herself in the restroom and prayed. A man knocked on the door of the restroom to ask if she was alright, and she told him the problem. He told her, “Well, I’m a doctor, my friends here are doctors, and there are 96 other doctors on this plane.” The doctors treated the woman’s father as best they could, and he made it home alive.

After the service, a dear lady comes to me and says “Why didn’t God save my father? Why weren’t there 100 doctors to save him?” These are the hard questions: Why wasn’t my prayer answered? Does God still love me? How do I respond when my wife has cancer? How do I respond when bad things happen?

You have a lengthy section in the book about sex, both inside and outside of marriage. It seems trendy in churches right now to do sermon series on sex. Do you feel pastors have an obligation to preach and teach about sex?

I really do. But it cannot become the big issue. That hour of worship is such a sacred time, and our goal is to make God the biggest person in that worship assembly. My fear would be trying to be relevant so much that a person would leave feeling they’d never had an encounter with God. I believe there is a place for pastoral authority on this topic. But I wouldn’t want it to be exploited as a way to get people in the building.

In 22 years, I’ve preached maybe only 12-15 sermons on sex. Some pastors would probably say I’ve missed some major opportunities. I don’t know what the perfect balance would be. Perhaps once a year, we should make a focus on how Christians should use their body, because we live in such a sexually-charged society.

I have always felt uncomfortable preaching about sex. I get embarrassed, but I think you have to do it some. Some of these people in the church don’t have anyone giving them biblical answers on these issues. I was very embarrassed for some of these issues to go in the book, and I get embarrassed speaking on it in the pulpit, but I always have people come up and say thank you.

Another section of your book focuses on finances, which is obviously a hot topic in this economy. Many pastors shy away from preaching about money. What message do you feel pastors need to send about how we handle our finances?

The easiest answer is to tell everybody to read everything Dave Ramsey writes! I’ve done that. He has such a common sense approach.

I think the role of the pastor when comes to money is to emphasize three points: 1. Everything belongs to God. 2. Debt is dangerous. 3. Giving is our highest privilege. Those are the things I want to keep reminding people of. We’re not taking a penny with us.

Do you think the questions people ask today are different from the questions of past generations? What has changed?

Yes, because the starting point is different. The starting point used to be, “what does the Bible say?” Now, it’s “why trust the Bible?” My generation grew up asking what the Bible says about things, and we assumed could trust the Bible. Now, people ask why they should trust the Bible? We need to put in terms of Jesus. Why can we trust the Bible? Because we trust the resurrection of Jesus. We need to put some apologetics into it.

Our response to this shift is simply being followers of Christ, living out our faith, one by one. The best hope for an agnostic is to have an authentic Christian living next door, who treats that person with respect, prays for that person, keeps their yard mowed, is a responsible person, representing Christ to them. I don’t think it’s through evangelism ministries or T.V. campaigns, but just the authentic witness of devoted Christians.

BLOG: Good Growth

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 14:52:42 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

The church I grew up in has doubled in size since my time there in the 80s and 90s. I'm not great at estimating numbers, but I would say there were 500-750 members fifteen years ago, and maybe 1000-1500 today? They just launched a second campus by adopting and revitalizing a struggling congregation in another area of town, and are really thriving, changing lives and the community.

When I visit my home congregation now, it bears very little physical resemblance to the church I loved in my youth. It has a new building in a new location, and a new pastor as well. I still see our old family friends, but I also see many, many people I don't know. A good friend with whom I grew up at this church is still active there, with her parents and now her husband and son, and even she says that there are many, many people that she doesn't know.

But, you know, it's okay that we don't know everyone or recognize every face. Sure, it was nice knowing most people--the more active members, anyway--as I was growing up there. But knowing everybody is not what church is about. The church is not there to serve its own members or to perpetuate itself as a social club. Fellowship meals and small groups are nice, and serve a valuable purpose, but if such gatherings are ends unto themselves, then we have very much missed the point. We are called to serve, to reach out, to include.

There is a great article by John Flowers and Karen Vannoy called "Incentives to Decline." It explains why some churches, even if they say they want to grow, really would prefer to stay the same, because growth would mean sacrificing some comfort, some intimacy, even some power. Bringing more people into the fold would mean they might not get as much say in decision-making. They might not like some of the physical and organizational changes that growth requires. They might not recognize every face or know every person by name.

Sure, it's a little uncomfortable to return to my home church and not feel quite as "at home" as I might if I knew every person's name or knew where every room was located, or if I could return to the exact places where special memories were made. But that feeling pales in comparison to the excitement of seeing this congregation that is so close to my heart grow and thrive and make a huge difference for the kingdom of God.

BLOG: 3 Perfect Songs for Ash Wednesday

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 21:29:19 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Crazy as it sounds, I love Ash Wednesday. Partially, I think, because it seems like such a mystical, old-world observance. Bowing my head to receive a cross of ashes while the pastor or priest intones, "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return,” I could feel almost like I’m a robed penitent in some ancient cathedral.

But when it comes to music for this somber service, older hymns can’t stir my soul the way these three contemporary songs can.

1. “Beautiful Things” by Gungor

This gem made quite a splash at Catalyst in 2010, with its irregular cadence and haunting melody. Before I learned the verses, I could sing the chorus over and over like a Taize-style chant—and why not? The chorus is beautiful, and a simple, eloquent reminder of God’s grace and our own impermanence. “You make beautiful things / you make beautiful things out of dust. / You make beautiful things / you make beautiful things out of us.”

I first heard the song played with a full worship band during a series on Job, and the opening lyrics about pain and despair certainly make it a great choice for such a theme as well.

2. “Worlds Apart” by Jars of Clay

This one might be considered an “oldie” in the scheme of Christian music, from Jars of Clay’s 1995 debut album. My favorite song on that album is one that I probably didn't appreciate when I got that cassette tape in my Christmas stocking that year, but over time I’ve come to find it spiritually gut-wrenching—in a good way. The song, "Worlds Apart," uses the title phrase first in the sense of what a great chasm there is between what we are and the way we should be. "All I am for all You are / what I need and what I believe are worlds apart."

Toward the end of the song, the words "worlds apart" shift, becoming part of a prayer for God's help in bringing us closer to that ideal self: “Steal my heart and take the pain, wash my feet and cleanse my pride, take the selfish, take the weak, and all the things I cannot hide / . . . Take my world all apart. . . / watch the world I used to love fall to dust and blow away . . .”

The song is a radical (and terrifying) invitation to God to come into your life and do whatever it takes for you to serve God and the world in the most Christlike way possible. Perfect for leading people into the self-examination and self-improvement that often come with the season of Lent.

3. “Who Am I” by Casting Crowns

Lastly, this song by Casting Crowns evokes the change in perspective that should come with the start of Lent. Ash Wednesday’s “remember that you are dust” message speaks to the brevity and impermanence of life, and the weight one's relationship with God carries in comparison. “Who Am I” balances those concepts so perfectly:

"I am a flower quickly fading / here today and gone tomorrow / a wave tossed in the ocean / a vapor in the wind. / Still, You hear me when I'm calling / You catch me when I'm falling / and You told me who I am. / I am Yours."

That "still" is so poignant, offering the listener the dual comfort of knowing the difficulties of one's life are fleeting, and that despite our smallness—our dustiness, if you will—God still cares.

BLOG: Dust

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 14:42:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

I often say Ash Wednesday is my favorite liturgical holiday.

I discovered the wonder and beauty of high-church worship in college. Admittedly, this took several months of steady attendance at an Episcopal church, given that I grew up Disciples of Christ, a notoriously anti-creedal denomination.

Once involved in that Episcopal congregation, I observed Lent for the first time, beginning with that most unusual of high holy days, Ash Wednesday. I decided then and there that it was my favorite religious holiday." Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return," the priest intoned, marking an ashen cross on my forehead. While most ash impositions I've seen through the years end up looking like a smudgy thumbprint on the forehead, mine was a well-defined Greek cross an inch-and-a-half tall and wide. I wore it proudly, feeling a profound and silent connection with others I saw who had received ashes that day, knowing that they too embraced this ritual too often forgotten in most Protestant traditions.

I find the Ash Wednesday liturgy so meaningful because of those words spoken as the ashes are imposed: "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return." Combine that with the overall message of solemnity and repentance preached that day, and one will be reminded of the brevity of life, and the weight one's relationship with God carries, given the fleeting and relatively (to the "great scheme of things") insignificant nature of our earthly existence.

While many may take issue with my assertion that our lives are insignificant, let me explain that I cling to that thought out of horror that the burdens of stress, depression, and feelings of inadequacy may really matter in the long run. Rather, I cling to the hope that those things don't really matter, and that my petty human worries will, at the end of my days, seem like specks of dust in the vast expanse of infinite time and space. The writer of Ecclesiastes seems to understand this line of thinking, asserting "Everything is hevel." "Everything is meaningless," some English translations say it, but a more accurate translation is vapor, vanity, or dust. Everything is vapor. All we are is dust in the wind, as the song says.

I remember a night in college, during the semester I took Astronomy. Having learned just how vast the universe is, and how small even our whole galaxy is in comparison to all of space, I looked up at the sky with a new perspective. Distressed over whatever guy was causing me trouble at the time, I cried out to God, and yet at the same time thought, "Why should my problems matter? If the Milky Way is but a speck, how small is Earth, and how much smaller is my own aching heart?" Yet, in the midst of that existential realization, I believed that God still cared, no matter how small I am. It was I who needed to see my problems as but a speck.

I, for one, feel lucky to be dust.

ARTICLE: Refreshing the Lord's Prayer

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 20:31:29 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

How does your congregation use the Lord’s Prayer? Some churches recite it weekly, as an affirmation of “the way Christ taught us to pray.” Others view it as a general model for the attitude and topics one should consider when praying to God.

The risk of the first approach is that the prayer becomes rote as people say the words from memory without much reflection on their meaning. The risk of the second approach is that people may only be exposed to Jesus’ prayer when Matthew 6:9-13 is the specific focus of a sermon or Bible study.

Consider the following exercises to keep the message of that iconic prayer fresh in both meaning and exposure.

Rewrite the Prayer in Your Own Words

Go line by line, so that the general structure of the prayer is the same, but think in terms of your own spiritual vocabulary and theological concerns. Read your version aloud in worship and invite others to do their own.

One example:

O God

who reigns over everything,

holy are you.

Help us to live out your kingdom,

seeking your will in all we do,

and bringing the ways of heaven down to earth.

Lord, you know just what we need.

Forgive us for always wanting more.

Help us to forgive others as you forgive us.

Help us to resist temptation

And to fight our tendency toward evil.

For it is you we serve, Lord of all.

You are powerful, you are glorious.

You are the everlasting God.

Amen.

Explore the Prayer in Questions

This exercise can be a precursor to writing one’s own version of the Lord’s Prayer, or used as a conversation starter in a Bible study or small group discussing the prayer. Each line of the prayer raises certain questions about God and what we are really praying for.

Our Father

How do you address God? What images of God do you most easily connect with? Father? Mother? Shepherd? King?

Who art in Heaven

What is God’s position in the universe? Does God reside primarily in Heaven?

Hallowed be thy name

How do you express God’s holiness? How do you define holiness?

Thy kingdom come

What does the Kingdom of God look like? How does God’s kingdom come to earth?

Thy will be done

What would it mean to want what God wants? How do you know what God’s will is?

On earth as it is in Heaven

How can we make earth more heaven-like? What is Heaven like?

Give us this day our daily bread

Do we really trust God to give us what we need? What would it be like to live with only what you really need?

And forgive us our trespasses

What do we need forgiveness for? Some Bible translations use the word “debts” instead of “trespasses;” what do each of these words indicate about the nature of sin?

As we forgive those who trespass against us

Why should we forgive others? Why is it so hard to forgive?

And lead us not into temptation

Does God tempt us? Does Satan? Is it wrong to be tempted?

But deliver us from evil

Do you believe in evil spirits or powers? Do you believe there is evil in each of us? How are we delivered from something that is within us?

For thine is the Kingdom

What does it mean for God to be ruler over everything? How does that affect the way we pray?

And the power and the glory, forever and ever

Do you believe God is all-powerful? What does it mean to give God glory? If God is eternal, how do you think God views us and our world?

Read it Differently

Read the traditional Lord’s Prayer slowly, pausing after each line to let the words soak in. Read it in a different version of the Bible than you are used to. Read it in a paraphrase like The Message or a totally new translation like the Common English Bible. If you have even passing knowledge of another language, try reading it in that language.

What other passages of Scripture do we know “too well”? Try these exercises with the twenty-third Psalm, Genesis 1, or I Corinthians 13, and see what new power these words have in your life.

ARTICLE: Why You Need a Cry Room

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 15:47:45 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Have you ever had to wrangle a squirmy, cranky baby in the middle of a church service? There are people all around you trying to listen, pray, and otherwise participate in worship, the poor baby hasn’t mastered the norms of social etiquette yet, and you are stuck playing the "Should I Take Her Out?" game. This game involves questions like:

How loud is the noise?
Is the noise positive or negative? (cooing and laughing somehow seem more tolerable than crying or screaming)
How important is the part of worship the child is disrupting? (this one, especially, is highly subjective.)
Is the noise likely to cease in the next 30 seconds?
How annoyed are the people around you?
If you take her out, should you drag along all your gear? (Babies never travel light.)
Where should you go?
If she quiets down (which she inevitably will the moment you stand up to leave) how long should you stay out “just to be sure”?

Needless to say, this "game" is no fun.

It is stressful and makes it essentially impossible for the parent to concentrate on worship. As a pastor’s wife, I had to play this game all alone while my husband looked at me helplessly from his pastor-throne up front. Kate fussing and having to be taken out of church was nothing new, but for whatever reason, on a particular Sunday when she was around eight months old, I finally lost it (the game, at least, if not my sanity).

After milling around the hallway with her for most of Sunday school, we started out in worship and made it maybe through announcements and an opening hymn. She fussed during the children's sermon and the Apostles Creed, but I didn't panic (see point 3 above—sorry to anyone who loves those parts). Finally, when she was making it difficult for people to hear the day's Scripture being read, I had to take her out, and stayed out for the whole sermon. I tried to come back for the prayer time, but didn't last too long before I was out again. Finally, I dashed back in during the offering, gathered our "luggage" and left.

I felt so frustrated; not with my baby, just with the situation. I thought, "Why should I even come to church if I spend the whole time out in the hallway or narthex?" This is exactly why a church nursery and/or a cry room are so essential. As the pastor's spouse, I have some incentive to go to church despite knowing that I will hardly experience any of it. I can only imagine how a family just visiting a church, or trying to get back into the habit of going would feel that it's just not worth it. Compared to the stress, embarrassment, and complete inability to participate in the service described above, a lazy Sunday at home seems pretty appealing! But take the unique needs of infants and toddlers (and their parents) into consideration, and you remove a major roadblock to attracting and welcoming young families.

I read some research a while back that said the two most important things a church must have to attract and retain visitors are a) a good, clean, well-staffed nursery, and b) an adequately-sized, easily-navigated parking lot. Amenities like these seem much less significant than things like worship music, preaching, or the friendliness of the people, but for people who are not already invested in your church, it's those little things that make their visit go a little more smoothly that can make or break their decision to stick around and experience God with your congregation.

ARTICLE: From Anonymity to Accountability

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 15:31:36 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Our mission in ministry is to make disciples of Jesus Christ, but “becoming a disciple” is not something that happens overnight. It’s a process of growth—one that never really ends. So how do we help people along that process of spiritual formation within the church community? In his book God-Size Your Church: Beyond Growth for Growth's Sake, John Jackson, pastor of Carson Valley Christian Center in Nevada, talks about the importance of providing a spectrum of involvement that allows people to move from newbie status to core member at their own pace and comfort level.

True to his Baptist background, the four primary stages have a lovely alliteration: Anonymity, Affinity, Authenticity, and Accountability.

Anonymity. Even people well-ensconced in a church sometimes feel the need to worship anonymously. That is all the more true for people unfamiliar with the church, its practices, and its people. They need to get acclimated while feeling welcomed but not pressured to "sign their life away" too quickly.
Affinity. Most churchgoers in America have no idea what makes their denomination different from any other, or what their church believes about every tiny point of doctrine. People become part of a church because they feel they connect to that congregation on a personal level. They have something in common with others there, and find classes or activities where they can explore common interests.
Authenticity. This is the lynch pin when it comes to increasing commitment to the church. Answering questions like "Are you who you seem to be?" and "Can I be myself here?" pave the way for a person's desire to be a full participant in the life and ministry of the church.
Accountability. This is the stage where people really commit to give of themselves in ministry, serving regularly and participating fully, rather than simply consuming of the church's ministries. While this kind of "accountable" involvement and commitment may be the goal for any person growing in faith, the church will never, and arguably should never, consist solely of these people.

Mark Beeson, pastor of Granger Community Church in northern Indiana, wrote a great blog post on that subject a while back. Quite the outdoorsman, his thoughts on spirituality and ministry are often inspired by nature. Mark wrote about a wild turkey he saw, with a really long, red beard and very full set of feathers, all fanned out. He said how he immediately realized that this turkey was a mature male, ready to mate, and commented how pretty soon there would be a bunch of immature, baby turkeys running around. He then pointed out how the church should be the same way: wherever there are mature Christians, there will be young, new Christians as well, because the more committed people of faith will attract and reach out to those who are searching. A group of mature animals or people who do not have immature ones around them... are old and dying.

Many churches today seem to exist only to sustain themselves. They stay open even when there are only a handful of members left, just because those people don't want to go to a different church. Their programs are more like a community center than a house of worship and a home-base for ministry to others. Embracing all stages of involvement in the church does not mean you are condoning "consumer Christianity" or that you don't care about discipleship--it means that you are outward-focused, that you are making disciples for the transformation of the world, not for the perpetuation of an institution.

ARTICLE: Sermon Starter for Ash Wednesday: Blood and Dust

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 14:56:00 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

Last Ash Wednesday, I gave blood for the first time since before becoming pregnant with my daughter almost two years earlier. My father and his mother are/were big blood donors, and after 9/11, I overcame my fear and became a donor myself. My iron is sometimes too low and I get deferred, and I almost always get warm and lightheaded and have to lay back and put my feet up. And I hate squeezing the stress ball every ten seconds, because it makes the skin on my arm tug uncomfortably around the needle. But still, it's an important thing to do, if you can, so I do.

Giving blood is a sacramental act, in a way--the shedding of one's blood for the benefit of others, to save others' lives. Since it happened to be Ash Wednesday, it wasn’t hard to see the theological significance linking this act and the act of receiving a cross of ashes on my head this evening. The imparting of blood... the imposition of ashes... "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return..."

I always love Ash Wednesday, and find such meaning in that reminder of our own impermanence. Coupled with the themes of penitence and self-sacrifice, the imposition of ashes reminds me of our seeming insignificance before God. And yet, as the psalmist says, "what is man that you are mindful of him?" In a great, big universe, we seem very small, and yet God loves and cares for us. I am dust, and yet I gave part of my body away today. I am theoretically nothing, and yet I am something to whomever receives that life-saving fluid. I am broken and flawed, and yet God says I have something to give. This paradox embodies the lesson I take from today: that my body--my life--is worth nothing unless I give it away.

ARTICLE: Called to This

Mon, 01 Nov 2010 13:52:38 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

An older clergy friend of mine recently attended an event where she got to mingle with quite a few young seminarians. “They’re so eager to get out into the local church,” she told me. “They don’t know what they’re in for!”

Perhaps you recall that idealistic time in your own life when you felt God’s call to ministry at the depth of your being, when preaching and pastoral care classes made you yearn for the day when you would confidently lead a congregation full of receptive and responsive disciples. Then you experienced your first heated board meeting. You spent more time settling debates about the new pew cushions than planning next summer’s mission trip. You got frustrated with conference politics. And you started to wonder, “Was I really called to this?”

There comes a time in most any important venture—be it marriage, schooling, or a career—when the rose-colored glasses come off and we realize we got more than we bargained for. In ministry, those feelings of disillusionment and frustration can be complicated even further by the disconnect between our heavenly calling and our human career. We answer the call of God, but fi nd that people are even harder to please. We teach others about Christian love and community, but feel lonely and isolated ourselves. Our desire to serve selfl essly can clash with our desire for success, stability, and reward. Our understanding of God’s vision may differ sharply from our bishop’s. (And our bishop’s plans may differ from our spouse’s!)

This issue of Circuit Rider explores those complex intersections between the spiritual call to serve and the practical dilemmas of the ministerial career. We’ll tackle difficult questions like:

Is there anything wrong with being ambitious in ministry?

Would eliminating itineracy or guaranteed appointment help churches—or pastors—to thrive?

Does the ordination system really prepare candidates for ministry?

How can I have a stable, happy family life while serving a church?

The ministerial vocation is filled with unique challenges but also brings unique rewards. We pray that this issue helps affirm your call and empowers you to live it out in your career.

ARTICLE: Who is My Neighbor? Demographic Tools for Your Community

Sun, 01 Aug 2010 16:34:51 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

How much do you know about the neighborhood surrounding your church? If you are newly appointed, or the demographics of the area have recently shifted, it’s possible your answer is “not much.”

These online tools can provide an overview of your area’s education level, average income, unemployment rate, racial breakdown, and more. Such information can help you assess the community’s needs and brainstorm ways to reach out.

Are 14% of people in your your community divorced? A support group might be needed.

Do people in your city have an average commute of 20 minutes or more? Consider producing a devotional podcast for people to listen to as they drive.

High unemployment? A free lunch and job-skills workshop could be the hand-up people need.

Quickfacts.census.gov displays the official statistics for each state and city (with over 25,000 persons) according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Most of the site’s statistics are based on data from the 2000 census, but includes the estimated 2009 population for each county and state and 2008 data on age and gender for each county and state.

ZIPskinny.com is a fun, user-friendly site using data from the 2000 census. You can compare each zip code with up to 20 others, and colorful charts show how that area stacks up against the whole state and nation.

e-podunk.com has all the basic demographics of the aforementioned sites plus some interesting statistics about where residents were born (in the same state, different state, foreign-born, etc.), where they lived five years prior to this 2000 data (same house, different house in the same county, etc.), and residents’ ancestry. That and special listings of local cemeteries, links to military records databases, and more make e-podunk especially attractive for history buffs.

These tools can never replace good, old-fashioned conversation and relationship-building, but at least you’ll know in advance not to cheer for East High School when most of the youth go to West!

ARTICLE: The Church Has Left the Building

Sun, 01 Aug 2010 15:35:25 GMT

By Jessica Miller Kelley

About a year ago, the United Methodist congregation my husband pastors lost its building to fire. In the days and weeks that followed, our mantra was “the church is not a building; the church is the people.” It is easy to affirm and believe that statement, theologically-correct as it is, but it is a lot harder to behave as if it were true.

“The church was struck by lightning,” we would say. Or, “We’re meeting here until we rebuild the church.” Sometimes, we would catch ourselves in that slip of the tongue and say “I mean, the church building,” but other times, it went by unnoticed, so ingrained is that “church-as-building” mindset.

What do you picture when you hear the word “church”? What do the people of your congregation picture? How would our congregations be different if we really lived as though “church” was a gathering of people worshiping and serving God, defined by its actions and its spirit, rather than by its address?

Inspired by the United Methodist Church’s Rethink Church campaign, this issue of Circuit Rider explores how people across the connection can be the church, not just go to church. We can be the church by reaching out to people long separated from organized religion, as Derrick-Lewis Noble explains. We can help children experience God through Creation, as Leanne Hadley does in her ministry with preschoolers. We can stop pretending to know all the answers and be transparent with our doubts, as retired pastor Buzz Stevens wishes he had been. We can get outside the church’s walls altogether to spread a message of hope to incarcerated women, like Becca Stevens and the women of Magdalene.

Buildings provide a home base for countless ministries of the church, not the least of which is a place to gather for corporate worship. The church itself, however, will not be defined by the height of its steeple but the reach of its compassion, not the number of seats but the number of lives changed, not the shape of the doors but the disciples that pass through them as they head out into the world to make a difference in Jesus’ name.