Our egos are sneaky little devils. They love to whisper sweet nothings in our ears, promising us power, prestige, legacy, and a place at the cool kids' table. They tell us we're special, we're indispensable, and we know what's best for everyone. As someone in ministry, my ego is the biggest block in my ability to discern God’s call for me and my ministry.

When it comes to church leadership, our egos can be especially persuasive. Ego might tell us we need to build a bigger building, launch a new program, or take on a social justice cause – all in the name of God, of course. Ego may encourage us to capitalize on social media trends, making our sermons, videos, and faces famous. Ego may lead us to new ministry places that are getting all the hype. 

But as the Apostle Paul warns us, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves" (Philippians 2:3). So how do we discern whether our church is truly being called by God to do something, or if it's just our egos trying to pull a fast one? As someone who has struggled with this, here are a few questions I suggest asking yourself:

• Am I more concerned with my own reputation or legacy than with God's glory?
• Am I seeking external validation or approval from others?
• Am I resistant to feedback or criticism?
• Am I willing to sacrifice the well-being of others to achieve my goals?

If we answer yes to any of these questions, it's time to take a step back and do some serious soul-searching, because ego may be creeping into the space reserved for God’s true call. If you think this is the case, I have a few things you can consider while you wrestle with this:

Check the Volume. While our egos are loud and attention-grabbing, the Holy Spirit speaks in a quieter, gentler voice. It's a whisper in our hearts, a nudge in our gut, a sense of peace or conviction that we can't quite explain. Discerning the Spirit's voice requires us to slow down, be still, and listen. It means spending time in prayer and meditation, seeking counsel from trusted advisors, and paying attention to the signs and synchronicities in our lives. As the prophet Elijah learned, God's voice is not always in the wind or the earthquake or the fire. It's often in the gentle whisper (1 Kings 19:11-13). If the voice is loud and self-important, it is likely ego. If it is quiet but bold, it is more likely to be the Holy Spirit.

Stop, Collaborate, and Listen. Discernment for a faith community should be a communal event. We weren't meant to do this alone. God has given us the gift of community to help us discern His will and live out our callings. When we're facing a big decision as a church, it's crucial to gather together, pray, listen to each other's perspectives, and seek the wisdom of the Holy Spirit as a group. The book of Proverbs reminds us, "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed" (Proverbs 15:22). God’s call should be clear to you all before you begin the process. Recruit leaders, laity, young and old, and listen together.

Wave that White Flag. Ultimately, discerning God's call is about surrender. It's about letting go of our own agendas and desires and trusting that God knows what's best for us and for the world. It's about saying, "Not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42). Surrender is not easy, but it's the most powerful thing we can do. When we surrender to God's will, we open ourselves up to a life of purpose, meaning, and joy that we could never achieve on our own. Ego is the opposite of surrender. If you can give up control and the call remains, it truly is from God and not you.

Discerning call vs. ego is an ongoing process. It requires us to be humble, vulnerable, and willing to listen to the still, small voice of the Spirit. But as we journey together, we are far more likely to conquer ego and do truly good work in the name of God. So, be brave. Be honest. Open your community to God's leading, even when it takes us in unexpected directions. And let's remember that we're not alone in this journey. We have each other, and we have a God who loves us more than we can ever imagine.