I'm Not Getting Burned Again

August 11th, 2013
Flickr | JeffreryTurner

“I’m not getting burned again.”

Have you ever made this statement? I have. I’ve been burned. I have been emotionally wounded by people in such a way that it hurt as much as a physical injury. In fact, I think it was worse. The pain was throbbing at first and I winced. Then I cried. I felt as though the pain would never go away. Almost without realizing it, my entire mind and body was focused on that wounded place in my heart. Have you ever felt that way?

The fact is all of us have wounds of hurt, loss, and disappointment inflicted on us by others. We are or have been in pain. And though life is harder because we’re somewhat “crippled” emotionally, we have determined that it is better to just nurse the wounds we have and protect ourselves from letting it happen again. We’re stuck. We have chosen to live in an imaginary, self-protective straightjacket. We don’t want to be vulnerable and we are not going to trust people anymore. Straightjacket living seems safer. And yet, we are not happy here. There’s no joy in this kind of living and our truest desire is to get out. Deep down, we want to be free. We want to be healed.

Initiate the Healing Process

The first step to any kind of healing is stepping out and stepping up to get help. If you felt physically sick, you would go to the doctor. If you had a physical injury, you would rush to the emergency room. Yet, when it comes to emotional pain, we hesitate to act. We don’t ask for help. Instead, we cocoon; we hide from God and others because we are afraid. Afraid the wound is too deep; afraid the healing process will only bring more pain. We wonder what will be required of us in the process and we are angry that we have to go through this. The path of least resistance is to ignore the whole ordeal and nurse the wound privately. So, that is what we do.

But that is not what God wants us to do. God wants us to initiate the healing process by opening up to Him. Though he can see the wound already, he wants us to show it to him. He wants us to talk about it with him, tell him everything that happened and where it hurts.

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. (Psalm 147:3 NLT)

Warning: If we wait too long to initiate the healing process we can become bound to our wound. We may find ourselves guarding it so closely that we end up not sure who we would be without it. It brings pity and attention that satisfies the ego. It can fuel emotions and conversations when there is nothing else to talk about. A wound can be justification for revenge as long as it is still “open.” Our wound becomes an excuse for not taking responsibility for our own well-being. Whatever the payoff has seemed, we end up letting the hurt, loss, or disappointment define us in a negative way instead of being defined by healing and wholeness. We must resist the temptation to pull away. Initiating the healing process is what God wants for us and it is the best action to take when we have been wounded.

Turn to the Great Physician

God is the Healer. He is the one who soothes, comforts and mends. He is the One who makes us whole again.

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble; He saved them out of their distresses. He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions. (Psalm 107:19-20 NASB)

God is passionate about you and his love for you knows no bounds. In this time, He hurts with you and His heart is for you. He is the One who understands your situation and He is the Only One who can heal you. He may direct you to other people, counselors and friends, to be part of this process. He may prescribe other aids to your healing. But make no mistake, He is the Healer. Healing aids and resources are only beneficial if they are in His hands. We cannot put our hope in a friend, in a counselor, in a medicine, in a therapy, or in any self-focused practice. Our hope for the healing of our soul is only found in the One who made it in the first place.

O Lord, you alone can heal me; you alone can save. My praises are for you alone! (Jeremiah 17:14 NLT)

God wants to comfort you in this time. You can cry your tears. You can shout your anger. He wants to give you relief from your sadness and rage. Empty your hands of your hurt, your loss, and your disappointment so that you can receive His comfort and love. Leaning on Him is the way you will feel better. He will lift your burden from your heart.

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. (2 Corinthians 1:3 NLT)

The eyes of the LORD watch over those who do right; his ears are open to their cries for help. The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. (Psalm 34:15, 17-18 NLT)

Cleanse the Wound as Needed

If a wound is going to heal it has to be cleansed first, otherwise an infection will result. And you don’t just cleanse it once and stick a Band-Aid on it. The cleansing of a wound is a process. You have to wash it with water and after waiting awhile, you do it again. So then, how do you cleanse a wound of the heart?

The wound must be cleansed with the Living Water, Jesus. Wash the wound in truth, love and grace, until you see it from His perspective. He is greater than this wound. Turn your heart to Him regardless of the pain. Get rid of any infection of bitterness or revenge that is there. And, if needed, acknowledge and confess any fault you have in acquiring this wound. Allow Jesus to purify your heart, washing away any impurity or offense. Pray. Talk to God. Turn your heart to Him.

Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. (Psalm 51:2 NLT)

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. (1 John 1:9 NLT)

Apply Healing Ointment

You must apply a balm, a healing ointment to the wound. The Word of God is just that. It has powerful healing properties. Read The Bible, listen for the voice of the Lord, ask the Holy Spirit to give you understanding. The words that brought you the greatest gift of your salvation will surely heal this wound.

My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body. (Proverbs 4:20–22 NLT)


After a wound has been treated it should be lightly covered. It needs to be kept clean, treated and protected from outside pollutants; it is the same with a wound of the soul. Cover your wound with prayer. But don’t focus on it, wondering about it. Instead, believe in the healing that is taking place. Don’t obsess about the hurt, loss or disappointment. You are going to have to walk away from vain imagination and stop reliving the pain over and over in your mind. Don’t keep retelling the story to others. Stop fantasizing about possible revenge. Change your focus to the things of Christ and the healing he is bringing. Your focus here is on forgiveness. It is time to let go of what happened and how it happened. Your complete healing is found in forgiveness. Your freedom from the pain you have been through is found in forgiveness. Forgive. God will help you do this. He is an expert in forgiveness.

He did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. (1 Peter 2:23 NLT)

Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32 Msg)

You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (Colossians 3:13 NLT)

Take the Bandage Off

Lastly, after the wound has been properly cleansed and cared for take off the bandage and let the air get to it. Meaning, be vulnerable. Don’t hide emotionally; talk with people, continue to pursue relationships, even if it calls for some risk. Be open and honest with others, love them deeply. And remember this: If the healing wound scabs, don’t pick it! Don’t hurry the healing process; let it take its course. Trust God’s timing.

Though he was God's Son, he learned trusting-obedience by what he suffered, just as we do. (Hebrews 5:8 Msg)

Experience God's Healing

By God’s grace, you will experience emotional healing of your heart and soul. You will have a sense of his grace and care that you didn’t have before. You will find yourself to be more loving of yourself and others. Your understanding and capacity to forgive has increased. As a result of this suffering and learning to forgive, you will find yourself more the person God desires you to be. In and through your heart, the Spirit of the Lord will flow. You are different now; you are more like Christ. For his glory and your wholeness, you will have overcome the hurt, loss, or disappointment that wounded you. The wound may heal, disappearing all together. But, should there be a scar, let it serve as a reminder of what God brought you through. He, the Great Physician, the Healer has restored you. You are free.

comments powered by Disqus