One of the tensions that a church leader must confront is the pull between generosity and control. We want the church to grow, thrive, and fulfill its mission, but too often, our desire for everything to be done right may lead us to hold on too tightly. We become gatekeepers instead of guides, and managers instead of ministers. And while control may offer the illusion of stability, both spiritual and numerical growth only happen when we learn to release our grip and trust in the abundance of God. Nobody (meaning me) said it is easy to do.

The Temptation of Control

Church leaders, especially those who have poured years into building a congregation, often feel a deep personal investment in every detail. It's understandable that leaders care and want things done well and on a trajectory to succeed. But control, even when born from good intentions, can stifle the very growth that is sought. A classic example is, "We want to attract young people and families," then proceed to keep every space and thing the way they always were.

The control model keeps the same people making every decision about the life of the church and is hesitant to let new voices lead. It shows leaders clinging tightly to outdated methods. Their fear of failure keeps the church from taking risks. It is also demonstrated in their reluctance to let go of responsibilities, even when others are eager to serve.

Such a hold can fool people into thinking that they are preserving the church's mission or the institution, but in reality, they are limiting what God might do through new hands, fresh perspectives, and Holy-Spirit-led transformation. Displeased with some of the changes in the congregation, one long-standing member who is upset with The United Methodist Church's decision to follow the examples of Jesus and work towards becoming an inclusive church, was overheard asking another long-standing member, "When did you lose power around here for all of this to be happening?" Some leaders are guilty of intentionally standing in the way of the church's development.

The Power of Generosity in Leadership

Generosity, on the other hand, is a posture of leadership that creates space for other people to grow and become stakeholders. It is an open-handed approach that trusts in God's provision rather than gripping tightly to personal preferences or traditions only.

Generous leaders empower people to take on leadership, even if their approach is different. They welcome new ideas, recognize that growth often comes through change, and make room for innovation. Such leaders may view mistakes as learning opportunities instead of fearing failure. They are also willing to take risks without knowing the exact outcome. In addition, they usually prioritize mission over personal comfort and release control of what is familiar for the sake of what is faithful.

The Gift of Letting Go

Releasing control does not mean neglecting leadership. It means leading with trust rather than fear and anxiety. When we step back, we invite others to step up. When we create space for different voices, the church becomes more inclusive, dynamic, and spiritually rich.

I have seen this truth play out in my own ministry. When I first arrived at my congregation, leadership was concentrated in the hands of a few faithful people who had carried the weight of the ministry for years. Their commitment was undeniable, but their grip was tight. Over time, through intentional conversations and small shifts, we began to open leadership to new people. It was not always easy - letting go never is. But today, our church has new leaders, fresh ideas, and a shared sense of responsibility. The work becomes lighter when more hands are carrying it, and the church becomes stronger when more voices are shaping it. We are shifting the culture to a church that is not afraid to draw the circle wider.

So, What's at Stake?

When we choose control over generosity, we risk:

• Burnout – Leaders who refuse to release responsibilities will eventually wear out and can become bitter.
• Lack of growth – When new people aren't given a place to serve, they sometimes leave to find a community where they can. Of course, this is NOT the only reason why people leave churches.
• A culture of dependence instead of discipleship – The church becomes centered around a few people rather than equipping the body of Christ. Discipleship is critical to the thriving of any congregation and if there is no intentional discipleship, one can expect to see the results of that. After all, discipleship is at the heart of the Jesus movement, and we United Methodists are known to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world!

When we choose generosity, we create a culture where people feel invited rather than excluded, new leaders rise up, bringing fresh energy and vision, and the church thrives because the whole body is activated and is not dependent on only one individual or a tight nucleus of people.

A Call to Trust

God is ahead of us and with us, working beyond our individual efforts. The work of leading in ministry can be scary at times. Believe me when I tell you that there is much 'fear and trembling' involved. However, making room for the gifts of the community and the movement of the Holy Spirit allows for more people to bloom and grow and for the community around them to see God at work. Having open hands instead of clenched fists, willing to release what we've built is a great pathway for God to do something even greater. It is good for us to remember that the church does not belong to us. It belongs to Christ (like the Communion table). And when we lead with generosity instead of control, we make space for God's abundant grace to transform not just the church, but us as well.

 

For more reflections on ministry, generative leadership, and scripture, follow Andrea at www.bafflingbible.blogspot.com.