Lord, I don't go to church much.

I don't go at all . . . well, I go at Christmas.

I'm home then.

I feel drawn to it.

I like the Christmas Eve service,

the coolness of the air.

I feel like a kid again . . . It's surreal.

I know folks make fun of people like me.

What can I say? I've drifted . . . but there is a pull back.

Are You saying something to me?

I hear something in the sermon, sometimes,

but mostly it's the music and the candles.

What is it about those candles?

And the darkness?

The darkness . . . it's the light, I suppose.

Light and darkness.

I know about light and darkness.

I live in both.

I've got some of both in me.

I'm basically a good person, but I struggle . . .

I know about light and darkness.

But I want to be closer to the light.

I want to light that candle and sing those songs.

And in the dark street shineth, the everlasting light.

I would like to live in that light, Lord.

I would like to meet Jesus.

Maybe what I'm saying is that I would like to be born again . . .

maybe that's what Christmas really means.

---

Ken Carter is Senior Pastor of Providence United Methodist Church, Charlotte, North Carolina. With acknowledgement of authorship, this poem may be reprinted in church bulletins and newsletters.